


Seven days of Gareth Bale.

by Rogue1987



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Girlfriends/No Wives, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Complicated Relationships, Confusion, Cris and Grizi are actual friends here, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Frenemies, Healing, Jealousy, M/M, Opposites Attract, Rival Relationship, commitment issues, losing bets, reluctant Cristiano
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 05:58:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 57,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8132941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rogue1987/pseuds/Rogue1987
Summary: ''I dare you, to hang around with Gareth for the next seven days as a punishment for losing the bet,'' Pepe said, looking awfully smug. Cristiano rolled his eyes. ''Hang out with Bale for seven days? That has to be the lamest dare in the history of the world. We already talk to each other don't we?'' Pepe folded his arms together and sighed. ''Not besides the necessary team conversations. Usually all you say to him is ''Good morning, good night and good game. Just give him a chance, he might surprise you yet,''Cristiano exhaled deep, knowing that he had little choice but to comply. ''Fine, I'll do it,''Seven days joined to the hip with Gareth Bale? How hard could that be?





	1. We have nothing in common do we?

**Author's Note:**

> So this story just came up in my head after last nights game. No idea why, or where I'm going with it but I liked the idea. 
> 
> I wanted to give Gareth some more love and I've never really written about him before so here we go.  
> This will be a short story, with a few chapters, ( no idea how many ). 
> 
> I will get started on the second chapter right now but no promises when it will be ready.

_Madrid, September 24th._

 

 

 

 

 

They had just landed on Barajas when Pepe had made his completely _ridiculous_ demand.

Cristiano had thought that his night couldn't have gotten any worse, seeing how they had just played 2-2 in the game against Las Palmas, losing two points in the title race, and yet his night was turning out into a royal, fucking nightmare.

''I'm sorry, you want me to do _what_ now?'' Cristiano asked, gleaming furiously at Pepe who was smirking as if he'd just won the Ballon d'Or. As if. 

''I dare you, to hang out with Gareth for the next seven days as a punishment for losing the bet,'' Pepe said, looking awfully smug.

It was a good thing that Cristiano liked Pepe this much otherwise he would have punched him in the face for his triumphant expressions.

So instead he rolled his eyes at his best friend. ''Hang out with Bale for _seven_ days? That has to be the lamest dare in the history of the world. We already talk to each other don't we?''

Pepe folded his arms together and sighed, sounding exhausted. ''Not besides the necessary team conversations. Usually all you say to him is: good morning, good night and good game. Just give him a chance, he might surprise you yet,''

Cristiano exhaled deep, realizing that he had little choice but to comply. A deal was a deal after all. ''Fine, I'll do it,''

Seven days joined to the hip with Gareth Bale? How hard could that be?

He glanced at the long haired, freckled Welshman who was seated besides Luka as he always was, a few rows in front of him and gnawed anxiously on his lower lip.

How on earth was he suppose to pull this off?

Pepe had been right, they had never really hung out before, nor shared their spare time together.

They didn't even go to each other's birthday parties, probably because Cris _never_ invited Bale and when Bale sent him an invitation to his own birthday, Cris had never replied.

How was he suppose to knock on Bale's door in the morning, asking him to casually spend time with him?

There was no chance in hell that Bale would ever believe that Cris would come to him on his own accord. He was a gullible man but not a stupid one.

Perhaps he needed to explain the bet to him, to get on his good side.

Pepe stared at him intently and shook his head. ''And _no_ , you cannot tell Gareth about the bet as a hail Mary. He has to believe you are _willingly_ hanging out with him because you actually want to be in his presence,''

Cristiano scoffed humorlessly. ''Yes, like he's ever going to believe that,''

''No, not with the way you've ignored him for the past couple of years. So you'll just have to convince him of the fact that you can actually be a nice guy sometimes,'' Pepe hummed.

''The seven days start tomorrow morning all right? Not tonight, give me some time to think of something useful to say to him at least,'' Cris negotiated, begging that Pepe would comply.

Pepe nodded, brown eyes kind and supportive. ''Fine, your week with Gareth can start tomorrow. You don't have to hang out with him all day, but at least three hours a day. And I want full reports afterward,''

''Jesus Christ, who died and made you the boss of the universe?''

''You did when you failed to score today and therefore lost your own bet. You should have done better if you wanted to avoid all this,''

''My god man, how was I suppose to know that you would demand something this _insane_ from me? You could have let me do anything, and yet you force me to hang out with the one guy who I've got nothing in common with,''

''I don't believe that's true. You two have loads of similarities.  
However the problem in the relationship is _you_ Cris, you never gave him a chance. You always keep him at arms length. Look, I'm not doing this to torment you, I'm trying to get you guys closer to improve your bond on the pitch and off it.  
It will provide a better team balance in the long haul. He's going to be here for quite a while and so will you.  
It's about three years overdue that you two finally bonded and spend some time together, wouldn't you say?'' Pepe mused, as he grabbed his suitcase from the overhead compartment and put it on the floor.

He handed Cristiano his own and waited for the doors to open.

Isco and Alvaro were sitting in front of them, giggling over something stupid on Isco's phone, eyes gleaming with youthful joy that Cristiano hadn't felt in years.

He envied them, for the innocence they still had. He had never had a childhood where he could just be a careless child, his had always been filled with troubles, self loathing and insecurities. 

Alvaro's fingers were caressing Isco's, making the little troublemaker blush with the intimacy of the gesture.

He quickly averted his mischievous eyes in the faint hope that nobody had seen their flirting but Cris was pretty certain that _everyone_ knew about their relationship.

They weren't exactly subtle about it.

Ever since Morata had returned to the old nest, they had been picking things up as if he'd never left. Cris had even walked in on them in the dressing room once, making out as if their lives depended on it.

Dani and Nacho were standing in the aisle, stretching their legs and were snorting to each other when they saw it. Smirking at the clueless lovebirds.

Cristiano exasperated loud, scraping his throat, which felt completely dry with nerves. ''I guess you're right,'' he replied in Portuguese to avoid the curious ears that surrounded them.

Sometimes it came in quite handy to be able to converse in a language that only a few other people understood.

What was it about the prospect of spending time with Bale that made him so-on edge?

He had known him for three years now and he was a nice guy to _professionally_ hang out with.

Bale was impossible to piss off, had the biggest heart ( he even saved drowning insects from pools ), and was always one to help you out if you were struggling with something.

And yet the idea of being around him for such a long time made Cris' stomach turn.

Sergio nudged his back impatiently with his tattooed fist to get his attention. ''Uhm are you going to move dude or will you stand there until we grow even older?''

Cristiano only now noticed that the doors of the plane had been opened and that he was holding up traffic.

Gareth and Luka had already disappeared, along with the rest of the front section.

''Sorry,'' he chimed aggravated as he stumbled to the exit, thanking the flight attendants politely for their service.

When they stepped into the arrival hall, he turned to Pepe again. ''Why couldn't you have let me spend a week with Sergio? At least that would have been easy,''

''Yeah, so you can fuck his brains out when you get bored? I don't think so.  
You would lure Sergio in your arms again in a heartbeat, spending the entire week in bed, doing nothing useful. No, pairing you with Gareth is a much better plan. At least I know for sure that you will never be able to seduce him,'' Pepe said, looking so fucking smug again.

''Is that a challenge?'' Cristiano asked sharply, raising an eyebrow.

''No, but unlike you, I do _know_ Gareth Bale and I know that you're not his type. Nor is he yours, so I feel pretty certain that you actually have to spend quality time with him instead of mindless hours of fucking,''

''Why are you two gossiping about Bale?'' Marcelo chirped curiously, as he strolled by.

Cris felt his stomach constrict again and he turned to Pepe to salvage the situation, hoping that Marcelo hadn't overheard too much.

''Mind your own business Marce,'' Pepe chided, but Marcelo had already shouted something to Luka, who was walking a few feet in front of them. ''Hey Lukita! Come here,''

The blond Croatian turned around, walked over and trailed a hand through Marcelo's vast curls. ''What is it? Why are you shouting like the room is one fire?''

''They are gossiping about your BFF Gaz,'' he said with a nod to Cris and Pepe, who felt their cheeks burn in embarrassment.

''Jesus Marce, how old are you? This isn't high school,'' Cris sighed.

''You're one to talk. Talking about someone behind their back! Very mature,'' Marcelo snapped, eyes dead serious for once. It was always unsettling to see Marcelo get angry.

''We weren't bad mouthing him, I assure you. We were just _talking_ , not gossiping!'' Pepe said.

''Yes, nothing more,'' Cris did one last desperate attempt to persuade Marcelo of their good intentions.

Luka grinned at Marcelo and tugged at his arm. ''Stop torturing them, you're being mean,''

Cris and Pepe glanced at each other, clearly confused. ''He's just messing with you guys, _relax_ ,'' Luka explained as he pecked Marcelo's cheek. ''God, you should have seen your stunned faces,''

''How did you become the _'Marcelo whisperer'_ all of the sudden?'' Cristiano gaped.  
''We are good friends Cris, have been for a long time now. We hang out all the time,'' Luka mumbled.

''Exactly, oh you look confused Cris, a friend is someone who likes to spend time with you so much that you don't have to _pay_ them for their company,'' Marcelo sneered, grinning amused.

Cris felt an unpredictable fury built up in his chest, but before it could erupt and wash all over Marcelo, Luka intervened. 

He shook his head at Marcelo. ''Taking it a little too far man, come on, I'll give you a ride home,''

''See you soon gossip girls,'' Marcelo laughed as he kissed Pepe and Cris' cheeks.

When he and Luka left, a disheveled Cristiano was left behind.

He stared around in the faint hope that Bale would still be on the airport but from the looks of it, he had already left for home.

He saw Karim waving at them as he walked to the parking garage and he waved back absentminded.

''How do I do this Pep? I have no clue as to how I'm suppose to win Bale over,''

Pepe placed a warm hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. ''Well you could start with calling him Gareth, or Gaz. Baby steps,'' he winked.

''Fine, I'll let you know how it went tomorrow,''  
''All right, drive safe and see you soon,'' Pepe said as he embraced Cris tightly and took off to find his car.

Cristiano took a deep breath and walked to the parking garage.

When he got there he was greeted by his red Ferrari.

And someone else. Bale-no _Gareth_ , was standing by the ugly black Audi the club had given him, doing something on his phone. Apparently he had parked his car a few yards away from Cristiano's.

When he saw Cris coming closer he looked up, smiled briefly and nodded. ''Hey, is everything all right? You look a bit-nervous,''

Cristiano felt his throat dry up again and found the strength to shake his head. ''No, I'm fine. I'm just upset we didn't win the game I guess. And I'm pissed off for getting subbed off. But mostly with myself, I should have done a better job,''

Gareth put his pone back in the back pocket of his jeans and stepped besides Cris, placing a tentative hand on his back, patting it like a father that tried to comfort an upset child.

''I understand. It's never nice to get subbed, but Zizou only thought about the Dortmund game and I guess he was worried over you, seeing how you've just came back from injury so-''

Cris shook the hand off his back and glared angrily at Gareth. ''I know that, thank you! I'm not a complete idiot,''

Gareth flinched and retreated his hand like a wounded animal that had been bitten by a predator.

An angry blush spread to his pale cheeks. ''Geez, I'm sorry. Forgive me for trying to sympathize with you. I'll go home and leave you alone,'' the Welshman snapped, sounding annoyed, rather than angry.

Cris, who had the bet in the back of his mind, knew he had to salvage the situation quickly.

He reached out for Gareth and blocked the path to his car door by stepping in front of it. ''Wait! I'm sorry, I was out of line. I didn't mean to insult you. I know that you're not an idiot by any means. Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something,''

Gareth raised a brown eyebrow and waited politely.

''Do you...want to come over for coffee or in your case tea, tomorrow?'' Cristiano asked, feeling ashamed that he literally had to force the words out of his mouth.

Fuck, _why_ was this so goddamn hard?

His English was quite good and it was a really simple question but somehow this felt like a defeat to him.

As if he was willingly admitting that he had treated Gareth quite poorly for the past three years and was now groveling to make up for that. It felt _weak_ to divulge in Pepe's stupid bet.

Cristiano felt completely out of his comfort zone and the one thing he hated more than anything else was the feeling that he had lost control.  
Having complete control over his life was the most important aspect of who he was.

Gareth's completely shocked expressions didn't exactly help either.  
His jaw was dangling open in amazement and his blue eyes had grown huge and stunned. ''What?''

''Please don't make me ask it again,'' Cris pleaded.

''But why do you want to invite me to your home? I've never even been there before. Not once. Why the sudden change?'' Gareth asked, sounding rather suspicious to Cris' true intentions. Not that he could blame him for that.

Cris cleared his throat and inhaled deep. ''Well I guess I felt like it was long overdue that we spend some time together. It might be good for the team, and for our relationship on the pitch. I mean, it couldn't hurt right?''

Gareth shrugged his shoulders. ''I guess not,''

''Great, so you'll come over?''

''Fine, I have to go to run some errands first but I can come over tomorrow around one pm, is that okay?'' Gareth asked.

His hands were suddenly occupied by redoing his ponytail that somehow always got loosened up, no matter how much gel he put in his hair.

Cristiano resisted the urge to tell him that he usually ate his lunch around one and then took his afternoon nap an hour later.

He guess he had to skip that tomorrow. Cris didn't like to break his everyday routine but something told him that it wasn't wise to start making demands at Gareth right now.

''Sure, that's fine,''  
''Can you text me the address so I can put it in my GPS?''

''I'll do that now,'' Cris told him.  
''Okay, have a nice night,'' Gareth said awkwardly as he leaned in and clapped Cris' shoulder again.

''Yes, you too,'' Cris replied.

After he had texted Gareth the address and watched him drive off, he placed his head in his hands and sighed intensely.

The next logical thing to do was to call Fabio and rant to him about Pepe's insane suggestion.

Cris called Fabio all the time, mostly because he knew him so well and he always knew what to do.

However, today he didn't get much sympathy from his former lover, much to his disappointment.

Fabio took Pepe's side and refused to say anything bad against his idea.

Cris got so wound up with Fabio that he actually hung up on him, mid-sentence, and drove home in silence, ignoring Fabio's pissed off Apps.

He couldn't sleep at all that night.

The idea of being forced to interact with Bale-no Gareth, damn it-kept him up for hours. The day was bound to get awkward and uncomfortable as hell.

When he woke up the following morning, his head hurt.  
He checked his phone for messages and saw one from Gareth.

 _'Hola, would it be terrible if I brought a snack over? A healthy one of course,'_ it read _._

Cris rolled his eyes at the content of the text.

A snack? Did Bale not know that he didn't eat sugar? _'I don't eat sugar Gareth, I thought you knew that,'_ he replied _._

A ping told him that Gareth had send another text back. _'I know that, but there's no sugar in it, I promise,'_

Cris' fingers danced over his screen.

_'Fine, take it with you then,'_

Ping _. 'Great, see you in a bit! :-)'_

Okay what was up with the smiley? Cris didn't like people who used smileys all the time.

It always felt totally immature to him.

He ignored the last text stubbornly and shoved the phone back under his pillow, exhaling loud.

This was going to be a long day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC......_


	2. Behind blue eyes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day one of 'operation befriend Gareth Bale' goes off to a rocky start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Cristiano said that he and Grizi were neighbors I could just imagine them walking their dogs on the street, having nice conversation. 
> 
> It's probably not very realistic but I actually like the idea of them being 'friends'  
> This chapter has a bit of angst and some repressed anger.

_Day one._

 

 

 

 

When Cris had completed his everyday morning routine - walking Marosca around the block, eating a healthy breakfast, an intense gym session, going for a swim afterward-he stepped outside to go for a morning run.

It was another warm day in Madrid, and it could be nearly mistaken for the middle of the summer if not for the coloring leaves on the trees.

The red and golden shades of autumn were upon them.

He knew that it really wasn't necessary to go running again, seeing how he was fit enough but he figured that the fresh air might do his troubled mind some good.

He put his training shorts on and his blue Nike tank top and walked over to Antoine's house where he rang the bell.

Antoine opened the door, raising a dark, furry eyebrow at Cris. ''Bom dia Cristiano, did you ran out of sugar again?'' he grinned.

There was a high pitched barking coming from the yard, telling him that Grizi's dog, Hookie was playing outside.

''Bonjour monsieur Antoine. No, I'm actually going for a quick run, do you wanna come with?'' Cris suggested.

They did that sometimes, when they both had days off.  
Cris knew that Grizi still had to play this afternoon but he usually never said no to a quick morning run around the block.

Sometimes they went for a jog with just the two of them, but usually they met each other on the street when they were walking their dogs.

Marosca and Hookie had quickly become close friends, therefore forcing Cris and Grizi to bond as well.

Cris was skeptical about that first, but he quickly discovered that he actually really _liked_ Grizi, he was a good kid and genuinely nice company.

It had become such a routine that Cris saw Grizi about four times a week for a slow evening walk with their pooches, who had become inseparable.

''Sure, why not, I already walked Hookie but you can say hello to him if you want. Let me get changed first, come on in,'' Grizi offered, as he stepped aside and let Cris into his home.

Cris had been there a couple times before, it was a beautiful house with warm creme colored walls and a nice atmosphere.

There were family pictures _everywhere_ , some of Grizi's family, others of his friends and teammates.

Most of them were of him and his boyfriend Koke, who didn't live with him but was around a lot.

Sometimes during the warm spring nights, they had barbecued at each other's houses, having an amazing time.

Cris walked to the garden, opened the gate and was greeted by an ever excited Hookie. ''There's my little _monster!_ Hey buddy, how is it going?'' Cris laughed as he lifted the little pug from the warm stones.

Hookie only barked in response and licked his hand, clearly smelling Marosca. ''Maybe tonight you and Marosca can meet up for another evening walk huh? Would you like that?'' Hookie barked once again in compliance, making Cristiano chuckle heartedly.

When Grizi was changed, they locked Hookie back behind the back gate and ran onto the pavement. ''So I guess Las Palmas is a tough nut to crack huh?'' Grizi teased, after a comfortable silence.

''Apparently they are,'' Cristiano retorted dryly.

There was always a bit of healthy, friendly rivalry between the two of them, seeing how they played for enemy teams, but despite that, they had always been friendly to each other.

It had even gotten to the point where Cris actually considered Grizi to be a close friend of him now, he would trust him with his life.

Cristiano actually felt bad that he had beaten the kind Frenchman in three finales now.

Two champions leagues and one European cup. The poor kid had really deserved better.

Honestly, he had played better in all three of those finals than Cristiano had, not that he would _ever_ admit that out loud.

His heartbreaking tears had been a sad spectacle to watch, and while Cris genuinely felt sorry for him, he was still happy about beating his team and winning the trophies himself.

''So how's Koke?'' Cris asked, anything to change the subject from the sore topic of the wasted points against Las Palmas.

Grizi shrugged his shoulders. He did that so often that Cris considered it to be his signature move, along with the celebratory phone bit he did after scoring.  
''He's great, nothing really new there I guess,''

''Has he still not moved in yet?''  
''Nah, he can't. His cat Romeo cannot get along with Hookie remember?,''

Cris nodded and nudged his slender shoulder. ''Cat people, they're all a bit _crazy_ aren't they? Why don't they just get a dog?''

Grizi pounded his back with a sly smirk. ''Hey easy wiseass, that's the man I love that you're insulting. And I can't blame him, I would never get rid of Hookie for a partner either. But I'm sure we'll figure something out,''

''Hmm I'm sure you will,'' Cris agreed, his mind already hovering over the thought of Bale coming to his home in a few hours.

''What is up with you today? You're totally absent minded,'' Grizi noticed sharply.

That kid had the eyes of a bloody hawk and infallible instincts. Damn him.

''Nothing, I'm just bummed about losing two points, not scoring and being subbed off as an extra slap in the face,''

''Aw come on, you'll have to do better than that. I know you well enough to know that's a really bad charade you're putting on. What's really going on with you? Don't you trust me enough to confide in me?'' the French superstar asked.

And god help Cristiano, when Antoine was being so adorably innocent he couldn't help but pour his heart out to him.

''Of course I trust you, it's just-I promised Pepe I wouldn't tell anyone about this and you're someone so-''

''Yes but I'm assuming that this has something to do with the team, and seeing how I'm _not_ on your team, I think you can tell me about it.  
I would never betray your trust and I don't even have Pepe's number or anyone else's from your team, well aside from Isco because he's in Koke's phone. But I would never ever sell your secrets out to anyone.  
Whatever it is, it's clearly bothering you and I just want to help you work through it,'' Grizi said solemnly as he handed Cris a bottle of water, which he accepted gratefully.

It was another hot day in Madrid and Cris took long sips of the water to get himself properly hydrated.

He pondered long and hard on whether he should tell Grizi the truth or not. ''I want to tell you what it is, I really do. But I think I'm going to save it for our walk tonight. I need some more time to get my head straightened out about it,''

And it was the truth, more or less. Cris really did need more time to sort out what he was feeling about all of this.

But he knew that after Bale- _Gareth_ , had left he would probably need a friend to talk to and it was true that Antoine was the best candidate for that seeing how he was impartial to all the team drama.

''All right, whatever you need. Just please don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it okay? I mean that's what friends are for right?'' Antoine said as he extended his hand to Cris, who slapped it twice, nodding with a soft smile.

He embraced Grizi briefly and held the small Frenchman tightly in his arms. ''Merci Grizi, truly. I'm grateful to have such a great neighbor like you,''

Grizi smirked at him, winking, looking slightly surprised by the sudden show of affection. ''Still can't call me a friend can you? That's okay, I'm quite patient. I can wait,''

''See you tonight smart-ass,'' Cris retorted as he walked back home and waved Grizi off.  
''Adios!''

When he got back inside his house, he took a quick shower, redid his hair about twenty-five times, and put the kettle on the ceramic cooking plate, boiling some tea for Gareth.

When he pressed the espresso maker on and noticed that his finger was quivering.

Ten minutes till one, Cris caught himself ogling the front porch like a freaking OCD patient for sights of Gareth's ugly Audi, but apparently he was not as frigid as being early like Cristiano always was.

Cris was always fifteen minutes early to every appointment he had.

Five minutes till one there was still no sight of Gareth.

The water had long boiled by now and Cris was getting aggravated with waiting. He had never been the worlds most patient man alive.

At exactly one minute till one, the black Audi finally appeared at his front gate. Cristiano let out a huge amount of breath he hadn't realized he was holding when the gate bell rang beside his hand.

He answered it immediately, as he tried not to sound too hostile. ''Yes?''

_Yes? He was saying yes like he was some butler who was serving his master?_

What the hell was wrong with him.

''Hey it's me-Gareth,'' Gareth said, rather pointless, because none of Cris' other friends drove an Audi that _despicable_ ''can I come in?''

''Uh yes, okay,'' Cris stammered as he pressed the button to open the gate.

Fucking hell, he was mumbling like that insecure teenager from Madeira who was being bullied by his Lisbon teammates again.

What was it about Gareth Bale that always made him feel so-inadequate.

Why was he always so intimidated and slightly rattled by him? That question had been nagging him for three years straight now and still refused to let go of him.

Gareth obviously wasn't better looking than him, he knew that.

Nor did he earn more money or dressed better. Not to mention his _horrible_ car choices.

Plus, to add insult to injury, he was an Adidas man, Cristiano was dead set on Nike being the best brand despite of Xabi's arguments that told him otherwise.

He wasn't better at Cristiano in anything really and yet, he had always been a bit apprehensive toward him.

Well there was one thing that Gareth was better at than him: being kind to people.

He won people over with his down to earth personality and the fact that the money hadn't changed him one bit. Gareth was still the exact same guy that he was on the day that Cristiano had met him.

Money hadn't turned him into a brat, as it had done with some of his other teammates.

There was not a hint of arrogance about him, he was all smiles and cool demeanor.

Gareth had won the Bernabeu crowd by being a master in perseverance and endurance.

He had suffered tremendously along the way, had been immensely humiliated, up to a point where he was ready to throw in the towel, but somehow he had always been strong enough to ignore the fans who booed him and kept on going, head raised high.

Cristiano had never told him but he truly admired that about him, how he was able to keep a level head when he had to fight like hell for his spot.

Cris couldn't even imagine what that was like, to have to fight for your position, seeing how he, Marcelo and Sergio were probably the only guys on the pitch who were always certain that they would play.

He was glad he didn't have that competition between himself and other guys who lured at his spot. Young, talented kids like Lucas Vazquez and Marco Asensio.

Kids who Cristiano liked with all his heart, but who were _competition_ nonetheless.

He wasn't exactly getting any younger and they were insanely good, especially Asensio.  
While Cristiano's days of being at the absolute top were numbered, theirs were only just beginning.

Although, if Zlatan was still able to perform above average at thirty-five years of age, in the premier league nonetheless, he should be able to at least even that.

As Cristiano walked toward the door, a familiar sight appeared in his garden.

Gareth was carrying a round pie shaped tupperware box in a hideous orange color around in his right hand. He was wearing his hair in his usual high ponytail.

He had his gray adidas sneakers on, a pair of dark blue jeans and a white blouse that Cristiano had never seen before.

It was a rather ridiculous combination, a mixture of casual-chique and Cris couldn't resist a snarky grin. To keep the peace for the coming six days, he would choose to ignore the mean comments that were clawing their way into his brain.

He opened the door before Gareth could reach it and greeted him with a semi-hug. ''Hey, come on in,'' he said awkwardly as he led Gareth into his hall.

''Hello, thanks for the invite, I guess,'' Gareth replied, sounding anything but enthusiastic about the prospect of being alone with Cristiano. Not a great start.

Perhaps Cris should have invited Luka as well, to make Gareth feel a bit more at ease, seeing how they did practically everything together, but he was pretty sure that Pepe wouldn't have allowed that regardless.

''Sure, anytime. Would you like to meet my dog Marosca? He's really sweet,''

''Of course, can I put this on the counter?'' Gareth asked with a glance at the tupperware in his hand.

''Oh yes, that's fine. What did you bring me?'' Cris asked curiously as a freshly baked smell reached his nostrils. Whatever it was, it smelled absolutely delicious and would probably be a disaster to his diet.

Gareth removed the cloth and revealed a golden brown cake. ''Carrot cake, I baked it myself this morning. And don't _frown_ like that, there's no sugar in it like I promised. All organic ingredients and sugar replacements. I hope you like carrot cake, I wasn't sure...''

It was nearly comical to see the hopeful expression on Gareth's face, as if he was a little boy who hoped to impress his school teacher with something nice, he had just fabricated from nothing.

Cristiano knew he had to use this moment to nudge forward with a positive vibe. ''I do like it actually, and it smells delicious. Thank you,''

''You're welcome, this house is absolutely beautiful by the way. Just like I imagined it would be,'' Gareth complimented and Cris shot him a grateful nod.

''Thank you, come and meet Marosca, he's in the garden,''

Gareth followed him to the terrace and quickly got jumped by Cristiano's golden labrador. ''Whoa easy boy, no jumping!'' Cristiano warned when Marosca nearly jumped on Gareth's waist in excitement, almost knocking him off his feet.

Unlike the times when he wanted a free kick on the pitch, Gareth actually managed to stay on his feet this time, making Cristiano grin at that thought.

He had seen Gareth fall over like a sack of potatoes over nothing, just to earn himself a free kick.

Which he then always kindly left to Cristiano, because that was just the kind of guy he was.

Today though, Gareth stayed on his feet, as he patted Marosca kindly, looking a bit bemused by his enthusiasm. ''Are you okay?'' Cris asked as he wiped some dirt off Gareth's crisp clean shirt.

Bale snorted and nodded assuring. ''Fine, no harm done, he's just a happy dog,''  
''That he is, would you like some tea? I've got the water boiling,''

Gareth stared at him as if Cris had just asked him to go to Paris with him for a romantic trip. ''Tea? I _hate_ tea. When have you ever seen me drink it? I drink coffee with one part milk. No tea please,'' his disgusted expressions made it hard for Cris to keep an even face.

A part of him wanted to laugh, but another was kicking himself for not even knowing what Gareth's favorite beverage was after being in his presence for three years.

''Sorry,'' he conceded, ''I should have known that. Some coffee then? I can make you a latte,''

Gareth shrugged, nearly similar to Grizi that morning. ''Okay, that would be better. Would you like to try a piece of carrot cake?''

''Sure, the dishes are in the top left cabinet,'' Cris told him.

Gareth started cutting the cake into eight perfectly straight slices and placed two with a nearly Masterchef like precision onto the plates.

Cristiano offered him two small, silver forks and led him to his white living room couch.

As they sat down with their drinks and cake, an uncomfortable silence filled the air.

The only sounds were coming from Marosca who was begging for a piece of cake at Cristiano's feet.

''No, this isn't good for you,'' Cris said strictly and Marosca rewarded him with a pouty face.

He decided to try his luck at Gareth, who hesitated for a second, but when he saw Cristiano's stern eyes, he shooed the dog away, looking quite remorseful that he couldn't oblige Marosca's wishes.

''Do you even put the dog on a diet?'' Gareth asked, sounding a tad too judgmental for Cristiano's liking. ''No, but I already fed him and he get's fed by a strict schedule. I only give him three treats a day, on regular times. He get's another one at four, we can give him a piece of cake then,''

Gareth frowned deep. ''You do realize that sounds completely insane don't you?''

Cristiano felt a bit backed into a corner and noticed that he was getting defensive. ''I don't see the problem with a good schedule honestly. Look can we please just change the subject. The cake is delicious,''

That was no lie at least. He wasn't sure what Gareth had put into the mixture but the carrot cake was one of the best he'd ever had. The thin layer of white frosting on top was too die for, so creamy it tasted a bit like yoghurt.

Gareth's eyes softened a bit and he smiled appreciative. ''Thank you, I'm glad you like it. So, what am I doing here Cris?  
Why the sudden invite? I don't mean to sound blunt but I've never even been here before and now three years later you suddenly want me in your house. Did I do something wrong on the pitch? Are you upset with me or something?''

Cristiano felt as if he got knocked into his gut by Gareth's typical UK directness. ''No, of course not! I just-I felt bad that we never really spend any time together and I was hoping we could make a fresh start I guess.  
That we could actually hang out after work, to improve our relationship on the pitch. I mean I did it with Karim a few years ago and it really helped us so-''

Gareth turned a little darker at the sound of Karim's name and erupted into three years of repressed anger. ''Shit, don't you think I _know_ that. You and Karim are two peas in a pot. Like I can ever match up to Karim. Do you have any idea how left out I've felt for three years when it comes to you two? You and Karim know exactly what the other is going to do before you even do it, it's nearly a telepathic bond.  
We've _never_ had that and I've never shared that with Karim either. You two are the B and C and I'm just the other B who you'd rather ignore. But at least Karim is nice to me.  
Don't think that I don't realize how annoyed you two are that you have to put up with me.  
I ruin your little tea party with my lingering presence. Well tough shit Cris. I'm here, whether you like it or not and I'm not going anywhere. So any resentment you have toward me, you can _shove_ it up your ass!''

Cristiano felt himself shrink under Gareth's fury and instinctively shied away from him as if he were afraid Gareth would hit him.  
It was unlike him to get this upset but deep down, Cris knew that he had it coming.

He had treated Gareth quite poorly in the beginning because he had felt intimidated by him and had let that affect his judgement.

God, on the first training when he had arrived in Madrid, Cris had tackled him so hard that he could have broken his ankle.

Every time when Gareth had hurt his ankle over the three years after that, Cristiano couldn't help but to wonder if he had been the cause of it with his reckless behavior.

He had told himself that it hadn't _meant_ anything, that it was a simple initiation game, but he knew that in that moment he had meant it.

His intention had been to hurt Gareth, who hadn't done anything wrong besides being more expensive than he had ever been. That fucking price tag had always weighed on Cristiano's feelings toward the friendly Welshman.

And he knew that Gareth hated the huge amount of money as much as he did, rationally he realized that very well. He had seen how Gareth had suffered under the pressure to live up to the tag.

But emotionally, Cristiano had resented him for it.

For being valued at a higher cost than him. He knew it was juvenile and slightly pathetic but his competitive nature got the better of him.

It was all his own insecurities talking of course, the ones who had plagued him ever since he had left Madeira. Telling him that he wasn't good enough, that he needed to do better. That no matter how well he did, he would never be the best in the world, not as long as Messi was still around.

Gareth's parchment colored cheeks were flushed and he was panting intensely.

Cristiano thought he had never seen a more frightening image in all his life.  
And yet, he also knew that Gareth's fury came from his own insecurities and fears.

If he cringed away from him now, they would never have a real shot at a friendship.

Cristiano had to endure the storm and stay put. So he carefully moved closer to Gareth, ignoring his inner voice that told him to run for the hills, and placed a wobbly hand onto the Welshman's right arm.

The hairs on the pale arms rose to meet his fingers and he felt the shivers go through Gareth's system.

''Gareth,'' he whispered, only now realizing that he had never said his first name out loud.

That got Gareth's attention and he turned to face him. ''I'm _very_ _sorry_ , about everything. You're absolutely right, I have treated you badly and I am genuinely sorry for that. But I want to make amends for that.  
What do you say to this proposal: you and I will hang out every day this week to bury the past and to start fresh. No more resentment or regret. Just us, spending quality time together as if we were actual friends,''

Cristiano thought that this was the best way to avoid telling Gareth about the bet and to take his suspicions about him away.

But Gareth didn't exactly look happy about his suggestion to spend more time with him.

He was repeatedly gnawing on his lower lip and stirred the spoon around in his cup, avoiding Cristiano's gaze. Cris realized with a small shock that he gnawed his lower lip as well. There was the first thing they had in common apparently.

Gareth wrinkled his nose and coughed awkwardly. ''I don't know, I guess it could work. But-''

''But what? You can tell me, I won't get mad,'' Cristiano assured him, as he clenched onto Gareth's arm a bit tighter.

Gareth sighed deep. The conversation had made him look ten years older. ''Do you really want to hear me say it? I'm not sure I'm going to _like_ hanging out with you everyday for a week long. Nor am I certain that you will like me enough to be around me for a week,''

Cris felt as if he'd been hit in the gut but managed to keep his face even. ''Well why don't we try it and see how far we'll come. It can't hurt right?''

Gareth gave him one short nod in response. ''All right, let's see how we'll do,'' he looked bemused and placed his free hand on top of Cristiano's. ''And I'm sorry for shouting at you. I was way out of line,''

Cris shook his head, placed a hand to Gareth's cold cheek and forced their eyes to meet. ''No, you are not allowed to apologize to me- _ever_. For anything. I'm the only one who owes you the apology, not the other way around.  
You have done absolutely nothing wrong. You always treated me with kindness even when I was being a complete asshole. I am the only one with the privilege to apologize to you, as often as I feel the need to. Understood Gareth?''

''Understood,'' Gareth replied, looking a bit shy.

''Good, now let's start with a happier subject. Tell me about your family,'' he suggested and Gareth's eyes gleamed with love when he told Cristiano about his early life and the obstacles he had to overcome.

He talked a lot about his friendship with Luka and how he pretty much owed everything to him. If he hadn't had Luka around to pump him full of assuring confidence, he would have left Real two years ago. Luka had pulled him through the darkness.

Surprisingly, three hours flew by in the blink of an eye and before Cris realized it, it was already four-fifteen in the afternoon.

He was within his rights-according to Pepe's 'laws'-to send Gareth home seeing how they had hung out for three hours, but Cris was having such a great time that he kept on chatting as if it was natural for them to communicate about their personal life.

Marosca had made a new friend and had nestled himself at Gareth's side, placing his heavy head onto his lap where he slept soundly. Cristiano had told Gareth about his childhood as well and he never would have imagined that opening up to Gareth would ever be this easy.

He didn't like to talk about his youth troubles to people, but Gareth was a really good and reliable guy that Cris felt safe to tell him everything.

When Gareth stared at the clock on the wall he jumped up. ''Oh shit, I totally forgot about my appointment at five! I have to go otherwise I'll be late for the doctor,''

''Oh right, he's checking your ankle again isn't he?'' Cris asked.  
''Yes, fuck, I'm going to be so late,''

''Well go then, I'll see you at training tomorrow. Maybe afterward we can go for a drink at your place or something,''  
''Dude, we're flying to Dortmund tomorrow-remember?''

''Oh yeah, well maybe we can sit together in the plane, or share a room,'' Cristiano tried.

Gareth squinted his eyes at him as if he were still expecting all of it to be a dream. ''Uh, sure. We'll see. Anyway, I had a great time today. Glad we could clear some things up. Thanks for having me over,''

''Anytime, thank you for the cake,''

''Of course, you can keep the leftovers, feed them to this one here,'' he said with a grin to Marosca.

Cristiano would have preferred it if Gareth took the cake back home with him, otherwise he would eat it all, but he didn't want to burn the bridges they had built so he smiled. ''Thanks, he'll be happy with it. See you tomorrow,''

Gareth stepped toward him and embraced him tight but brief. ''Yes, you too,''  
When he left, Cristiano felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.

A few hours later his front gate rang. Grizi and Hookie were at the door.

He let them in and opened the front door.

''Good game today,'' Cris complimented the Frenchman, who grinned triumphantly. ''Thanks, I was just lucky to score honestly, it was a real struggle to get the bloody ball in the net. Oh well, three points are three points,'' he said wisely.

''That they are, ready for that walk? I have loads to tell you,''

During the walk Cristiano kept his word and told Grizi everything.

He had never seen anyone laugh so heartedly when he told him about the bet.

The ironic thing was that Cris was no longer laughing at the idea of the bet, in fact he wondered if Pepe was secretly a genius for creating a dare so sly that it had already resolved a lot of issues on day one.

Perhaps this was going to be a good idea after all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC......_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think guys. Your opinion is valuable to me. 
> 
> I'm really thankful for the initial response to this story, I was amazed by the number of kudos I received because I thought that this story would be a bit silly. But apparently it's received well. Phew.


	3. This is my kingdom come.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team leaves for Dortmund. 
> 
> Day two of the bet starts off a bit rocky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm moving to England this thursday so I've been super busy, preparing everything, arranging my suitcase and things like that. So this is a bit later than I had hoped. 
> 
> It also turned out a lot longer than I had anticipated. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it. Thanks for the support!

_Day two._

 

 

 

''Hey Gareth, you um might wanna take _this_ with you, unless you plan on sleeping naked tonight?'' Cristiano yelled when they were boarding the plane to Dortmund.

Gareth had left his suitcase standing in middle of the departure hall, as usual, being the airhead that he always was and Cris was always happy to remind him of it.

Gareth blushed awkwardly, collected his suitcase with a grateful nod and strolled toward the gate, following behind Luka.

Sergio, who was standing in front of them, waiting to give the security his passport, turned his head to them and raised a curious eyebrow. ''Gareth? Since when do you call him anything other than Bale or Baleinho?''

''Si, I've _never_ even heard you use his first name before,'' Lucas chimed in, who was standing besides their captain. Nosy little shit.

He had only been with them for about five minutes, what the hell did he know about the team dynamics?

Well to be fair, probably quite a bit, seeing how he was a clever kid who observed everything.

Cris folded his arms together defiantly, not in the mood to be mocked or ridiculed. ''Well it's his _name_ isn't it? Why shouldn't I use it?''

Keylor who was behind them, mumbling a song Cristiano didn't know, seized singing and hummed. ''Well it is a bit suspicious isn't it?''

Cris turned his head backward toward his trusty goalie and gritted his teeth. _''E tu Brutus?''_

''Come on guys, leave him be, it's not very nice to torment him like that,'' that was James' voice, who somehow always took it upon himself to take Cristiano side, even if he was dead wrong about something.

At first it had been nice to have a groupie like that around to boost up his ego, but by now it had started to annoy Cristiano, that James felt the need to do his fighting for him as if he were a damsel in distress who couldn't protect himself.

''I got this James, gracias,'' Cris snapped, a tad too harshly.

The Colombian shot him one of his typical disheveled expressions, one that indicated that Cris had just killed his puppy and walked rapidly to the front doors of the gate, cheeks red with anger.

Or upcoming tears. With James you could never be quite sure what he was going to do, cry or shout at you. 

Karim who stepped forward to take his place in the line patted Cris on his back. ''Don't worry _mon_ _frere_ , he'll be all right,''

That calm, collected demeanor was exactly why Cristiano loved Karim so much. He was always one to keep his head on his shoulders and to assure him that things would be fine.

Cris had always trusted Karim, from the first day he met him until the last day they would work together.

Karim, unlike so many of his teammates, wasn't a very emotional guy, probably due to the fact that he was from France, not Spain or another southern country where the temperaments were uncontrollable.

Or perhaps it was just Karim's upbringing, his entire family was quite balanced and chill as well.

Karim was very rational, looked at everything from all different sides before he made a choice and he really read people very well.

It was no coincidence that he and Antoine were such a tight bunch, both of the players were very much alike in a lot of aspects.

Although Grizi was a bit more emotional than Karim was. He followed his heart where Karim went with his head.

It was the one thing they could argue over, when Grizi was talking to Karim about relationships and Karim would cut him off with his rationality, saying that he was being a bit silly to not use his head instead of his heart.

But they always worked through it. Neither one of them had the heart to stay mad at someone for ages like women could do to one another.

Cris looked at Karim with a fondness that he often felt and saw in the pictures people took from them on the pitch.

He smiled and gave him a fist-bump and a small embrace. ''What would I do without you Benzo? You're my rock, you do know that don't you?''

Karim winked at him, as he grinned cheekily. ''Of course I do,''

Cris watched Karim go through the passport check with the rest of the team but he deliberately hung back and waited for Zizou and the staff to appear. He clung Zizou by his arm.

''Do we have to room together tonight?'' he asked, begging that their coach would say yes so he could spend some time with Gareth today.

Zizou frowned a bit as if he wondered where the question was coming from but nodded regardless. ''Yes, why?''

''Who am I rooming with?''

Zizou shrugged and pulled a schedule from his suitcase. ''Hmm I see that I put you in a room with Gareth for the night and yes I _know_ that you are going to complain about that, because you want to room with Pepe or anyone but him, but I made my decision and I'm sticking with it,''

Cristiano did everything in his power to look as disappointed as possible but he was worried he couldn't pull it off.

Truth was that he was relieved.

He could spend his three hours with Gareth easily when they were confined to a room for the night.

Nonetheless, he fabricated a pout as he turned to the Frenchman. ''You're right, I'm not happy with it and I don't see the point of it to be honest,''

Zizou exasperated deep as he placed a hand on Cris' shoulder, looking like a school teacher who's going to give their student a much needed lecture. ''The point _Cristiano_ , is to improve the team bonding. The entire team can get along great, there's no friction whatsoever. Besides your ridiculous feud with Gareth. I've had enough of that nonsense. I should have done this a long time ago, just put you two in a room together and leave you to each other's mercy. Boys will be boys after all.  
Look, you are used to getting whatever you want from me and the club and that's fine.  
You are the one guy who's position is always safe, but I've condoned your poor treatment of Gareth for far too long. He's a very _nice_ man and that price-tag on his name was not his fault. You will do this, for me.  
Because I asked you to and I never, ever say no to you. I always let you play and I never sub you out. Well apart from the last game but you know why I did that. You are going to grow up and accept that you cannot always get what you want. Understood?''

Cristiano swallowed despite himself. He had never heard Zizou speaking so harshly to him before.

It made him feel incredibly tiny and inferior. The problem was that everything that he had said had been true.

Zizou always gave him whatever he wanted and never said no to him. It was about time that Cristiano returned the favors he had received.

''I understand it Zizou, and you're right, about everything. I've been a spoiled brat and I will try to treat Gareth better than I have in the past, from now on,'' Cristiano conceded.

Zizou looked pleased with his words and leaned in to embrace him briefly. ''Good, that is all I wanted to hear. I'm proud of you for doing your best,''  
Whenever the great Zinedine Zidane gave you a hug, you had the feeling that you could do anything.

The warmth of his embrace, the strength in his arms made you feel like you were part of something so _special_ , so sincere that the simple touch of his body against yours could brighten up even the worst of days.

Another man who had possessed that power had been Raul.

When Cristiano had played with Raul and he had felt as his lowest, the Spanish striker had pulled him close to his chest, making it all better with a simple hug and a warm smile.

Raul had always been special and filling his shoes when he left, becoming the new number seven after Raul had been branded as the eternal number seven, had been extremely challenging.

He knew that many people in the Bernabeu still and always would love Raul more than they loved him, simply because Raul had his loving personality, something that Cristiano was lacking.

He had been labeled as tirelessly arrogant, cocky and selfish where Raul was basically a saint who put everyone's needs before his own.

Cris would never be as adored as Raul. It had taken him a lot of time to accept that fact.

He could still remember the day when Raul had returned to the Bernabeu a few years back for the Tropheo Bernabeu with his last team, All-Sadd. That had been a pretty awkward day for Cristiano.

The entire stadium was wearing Raul shirts, everyone was hollering his name, there was a giant tribute for him before and after the game.

People were crying at the sight of him on the pitch, they were singing his name.

They went crazy when he was allowed to play with Real Madrid one last time, wearing his old number on his back, forcing Cris to walk around with number eleven (which was now Gareth's number ironically ), on his shirt.

For Cristiano it had been a really _painful_ reality check.

They would never ever love him like they had loved Raul. Due to his personality.

He would set more records than Raul, would score more goals and yet, it still wouldn't be enough.

After the game, he sat in he dressing room, being a lot quieter than usual. Guti was there too, chatting excitedly with his best friend as they embraced each other over and over again. Cristiano had never felt more alone, more invisible.

Karim sat down beside him on the bench and took his hand into his. ''Let's get you home huh?'' was all he had said.

He had driven Cristiano to his place and had crashed in his guest bedroom to be safe. That was just the kind of guy Karim was.

If he loved you, he took care of you. He would walk through fire for you.

When Cris boarded the plane he pondered whether he should sit besides Gareth, but one glance at him told him that it was pointless to do so. Luka was already firmly seated at his side, as always.

They were in the front rows of the plane because Luka hated sitting in the back or the middle.

When he walked past them Gareth locked eyes with his for a second before he turned them back to Luka who was speaking quietly to him. That was nothing new really, Luka's volume was always pretty incoherent and Cristiano always had to listen intently to grasp his meaning.

Cris pushed his suitcase forward to the back of the plane where Pepe was waiting for him.

Karim and Rafa were sitting in front of them, quietly listening to music on their headphones. Karim winked at him when he caught Cristiano's stare. 

When Cris shoved the baggage in the compartment he slouched down next to Pepe.  
''What took you so long?'' Pepe mumbled, brown eyes concerned and soft.

''Nothing, just had a chat with Zizou outside the gate. It appears that I'll be rooming with Gareth tonight, I wonder who's idea that was,'' he mused as he threw Pepe a set of suspicious glances.

''Fine, I admit it, don't shoot. I did that. I suggested that it might be a good idea for the team you know. And I wasn't even lying about that. It would be good for the team,'' Pepe grinned.

''You little minx. Always manipulating everything,'' Cristiano chided.  
''Oh shut up, as if you are complaining,''

''Not really no. He's actually a pretty decent guy. We had a good time yesterday, surprisingly. We cleared up some issues and he actually brought me home made carrot cake, which I ate completely last night,''

Pepe smirked. ''I told you he was a good guy. You should have done this ages ago, maybe if you had, we would have won the Liga last year,''

''Yes, like us not being close was the reason we didn't win it. There were other issues last year, like Benitez and you know it. You can't put that all on me. I won't let you. We lost it because we didn't gain enough points in the start of the competition, because of Benitez.  
It had _nothing_ to do with me and Gareth. Nothing,''

''Maybe not, but everything that happens here is connected with each other Cris. The dynamics in the team are important. Sergio struggled with Iker's departure last year, and it affected his form and his leadership abilities. I really doubted if he could do it for a long time, but eventually he stepped up.  
With a little help from the rest of us.  
But Sergio did _face_ his problems like an adult and overcame them quickly. He is mature enough to realize when he's wrong. But with you, _I've_ screwed up.  
I should have forced you to be kind to Gareth ages ago. We should have addressed the problem a lot earlier on, but I didn't want to pressure you into hanging out with someone you didn't like. I was too lenient with you,''

Cristiano snorted. ''What makes you think that you have the _right_ to force me to do anything Pep? You're not my father or my older brother.  
You don't have the right to talk to me as if we're related. You're my best friend and I love you, but you're going too far now. I do whatever I want and hang out with whoever I want. You're _not_ my family.  
I'm an adult who makes his own choices, thank you very much,''

Pepe took his hand into his own warm one and sighed. ''I'm sorry that I have to say this Cris, but sometimes I really do hate it when you're behaving like a spoiled little shit. You have a way of looking down on people who aren't like you. It's a really ugly trait of yours.  
You're disappointing me when you behave like this, because I know that you are a much better man than that mask you put on,''

Cristiano was so taken aback by his words that he couldn't think of one proper sentence to throw back at Pepe's face.

His jaw just dropped a bit and he stared at his friend, bemused, distraught.

Pepe released his hand and put his earphones on.

Cris knew that he wouldn't take them off until they landed.

Their conversation was over. Pepe could play the passive aggressive card better than anyone he'd ever met.

To pass the time, he slipped toward Danilo and talked to him for a little bit.

Marcelo and Casemiro weren't there due to injuries, so Danilo was the only one who he could speak to in his mother tongue.

When they landed in Dortmund and arrived at their hotel, Zizou read the room schedule to his team.

Cris glanced sideways at Gareth and saw the shocked expression in his blue eyes when his name got paired up with Cristiano's.

The entire team was taken aback by that pairing it seemed. Sergio was staring at them, jaw dropped to the floor and Isco nearly lost his balance, only to be held upright by Dani.

Kiko and Nacho were whispering behind their covered mouths and Morata was plain gaping at them, eyes huge.

A curious murmur erupted from the group and Cris knew that everyone was talking about them.

They all wanted to know what the hell was going on that he and Gareth Bale, the infamous _''frienemies''_ of the team, were suddenly shoved in a room together.

Marco Asensio, who was paired up with Lucas for the night, walked toward Cristiano and offered to trade his spot, so that Cris could room with Lucas. ''That's all right Marco, Zizou said that we couldn't switch rooms-remember?''

''Well yes, but I assume that this is the last thing you wanted,'' Marco said, as he gnawed on his lower lip. Cristiano felt a wave of affection for the youngster and he patted his arm kindly.

''Maybe, but not even I can always get whatever I want. It will be fine, it's just one night. We won't kill each other, don't worry,'' he winked and Marco blushed. ''I know that, I just-''

''You are a good kid Marco, but this is Gareth _fucking_ Bale we're talking about. Not one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. He's a nice guy remember? I'll be fine,''  
Marco mumbled something inaudible and vanished upstairs with an amused Lucas strolling up behind him.

When Cristiano went upstairs he noticed that Karim and Rafa's room was across the hall from his.

He wished them a good night and slid the keycard in the door, opening it.

Usually they ate in the restaurant of the hotel but today everyone had ate on the plane.

It was nearly ten in the evening when they arrived at the hotel, so everyone wanted to get to bed early.

Cristiano stepped inside of the hotel room, noticing that it was a tad too small for his liking, but at least it looked clean. Gareth's suitcase was lying on the right bed but Gareth himself was nowhere to be seen.

Cristiano checked the bathroom but found no one.  
His phone went off and Grizi's picture appeared on the screen, sending him a request to FaceTime.

He accepted it, checking his hair in the reflection of his phone and saw Grizi's messy locks, draped to his forehead. He had probably just showered.

''Hey, how is it going?'' Grizi mused, his blue eyes curious as fuck. Hookie was lying in front of him, cuddled up to his chest and looked up interested when he heard Cristiano's familiar voice.

''Hola you two! I'm good, we just arrived at the hotel. You have no idea who I'm rooming with tonight,''

Grizi looked thoughtful for a moment but when a mischievous glance went over his face, Cris knew that he would guess it right in one go. ''Oh you're rooming with Gareth aren't you? Am I interrupting you? Is he there now?''

Cris shook his head. ''No, he's not and you're not interrupting me. His suitcase is here but I think he escaped to Luka's room,''

Grizi frowned confused. ''Why would he do that, if you two had such a good day yesterday? Do you think he's still a bit nervous around you?''

Cris grinned. ''I should have never told you about the bet last night, I knew I was going to regret that,''

Last night when they were taking their dogs out for their evening walk, Cris had told Antoine everything.

The French striker had laughed at the bet at first, but luckily quickly recovered and gave Cristiano some good advice on how to deal with all of it.

He had promised to keep it all a secret, even from Koke.

Despite the fact that Cris was teasing Grizi about it now, he had felt relieved to talk to someone about it.  
Someone who wouldn't be hard on him or judge him, like Pepe had done.

Grizi listened to him, without judgement and vowed to help him through it.

Grizi smirked at him. ''You don't regret telling me the truth at all. Don't lie. You're actually relieved that someone out there is listening to you, offering you some good advice. But you would have told Karim if you could, but seeing how he was off limits you went with the second best choice: me. But I am confused why Gareth would take off on you like that. It doesn't make sense after your nice day yesterday,''

Cristiano thought about that for a little while.

Grizi had a good point. Why would Gareth just run away from him?

They had spent such a good day together and now he didn't even want to be in the same room as Cristiano? Had he done something wrong without realizing it?  
''You're actually right. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I just-''

Cristiano heard a door open and instantly jumped up startled, as if he had been caught masturbating of something like that, but to his surprise he noticed that his hotel room door was still shut.

Realization hit him that a door had been opened at Grizi's side of the conversation and he saw Koke walking into the bedroom, a towel around his waist, his pale skin shining with droplets of water.

Koke had a good body, a bit too slender for Cristiano's taste, but his nice facial features made up for that. 

''Was that Cristiano's voice I heard?'' Koke asked and Grizi nodded in compliance. ''Yes, come and say hello. Don't be shy,''

Cristiano was secretly praying that Koke hadn't overheard anything. He smiled at the dark haired man when he appeared in front of the camera. ''Hola Koke, how is it going?''

Koke blushed shyly. ''Hola, uh-yes we are good, thank you. Nervous for the Bayern game I guess,''

Cristiano huffed. ''Ah you don't have to be. You beat them before haven't you? As have we. I'm sure you're going to do great. Go kick their asses for me all right?''

Koke smiled, looking a bit more talkative and confident now. ''We will, what about you guys? Nervous for Dortmund?''

''Nah, I'm not, but some of my teammates are. Dortmund is always a tough nut to crack, hell they have beaten us a few times which really hurt, but I'm confident that we should be able to win if we all work together,'' Cris said, sounding self assured.

''Good, well good luck tomorrow. I'll leave you two alone then. I feel like I walked in on something private,'' Koke pecked Grizi on his hair, waved at Cristiano, who waved back and left.

Cris smiled fondly at the camera for a while, causing Grizi to frown. ''What are you smiling at?''

''Nothing, it's just that you two are absolutely adorable together. You do realize that don't you? You are very lucky to have such a good, stable relationship,''

Grizi grinned from ear to ear and a beautiful smile was washing over his face. ''Thank you. Now what were we talking about before?''  
''About Gareth and his apparent need to avoid me,''

''Oh right, well I'm not exactly sure why he's doing it,''  
''That makes two of us genius,'' Cris retorted dryly.

Cris heard a noise from the other side of the room and saw his own door opening this time, revealing a slightly disheveled Gareth. He was holding a book in his hands. ''Hey,'' he said curtly.

''Uh Grizi, I gotta go,'' Cris said, giving him a 'don't ask, don't tell,' expression.

''Okay, talk soon and good luck tomorrow man,''  
''Thanks, you too wednesday,''

''Merci, goodbye,''  
''Bye,''

Cris put his phone down and curled his lips to Gareth to reassure him, but he feared it might have looked a bit too manic for Gareth looked simply terrified.

''What's going on dude? Where have you been?'' Cris asked.

Gareth stumbled toward his bed and put the book down on the nightstand. ''I was at Luka's, borrowing one of his books,''  
''Oh, what is it about?''

''About the Pegasus bridge that the English troops captured on D-Day in the second world war,'' Gareth explained.  
''Hmm sounds interesting. I didn't know you were into world war two,''

''Yes a bit, I like to read and it's a very fascinating subject. A dark page in the world's history but an interesting one nonetheless. Luka likes all that stuff too so we borrow books about it all the time,'' Gareth told him. He sat down on his bed and redid his ponytail.

''That's uh-nice,'' Cristiano said, not understanding why he was sounding so uncomfortable.

''So you and Griezmann are really friends or something? I thought you were just neighbors,'' Gareth asked.

He sounded a bit-envious. Probably due to the fact that Cris was friends with one of their archenemies while he couldn't even be civil to Gareth, one of his own.

''Or _something_ yes. We used to be just neighbors but seeing how our dogs are basically in love with each other so we hang out a lot. That made us into sort of friends I guess. So what do you and Luka usually do on your hotel room?''

Gareth frowned. ''Well when we arrive this late we usually go to sleep. But if we arrive early we play board games, watch some TV or read a bit. What do you and Pepe do usually?''

''Oh well, we just chat, watch TV and go to bed. Pepe isn't particularly interesting but at least he's quiet, which is all I need before the games. Peace and quiet, so that I can concentrate myself mentally on what is to come,''

''We can watch some TV if you want?'' Gareth offered but Cris shrugged. ''It's okay Gareth, you don't have to put it on for me. I'm fine with having a nice conversation as well. Whatever you want,''

Gareth was looking so bloody bewildered again. As if nothing that Cristiano was saying made any sense to him. And logically, it probably didn't.  
''Actually I do have a little board game with me that you might enjoy, it's really fun,'' Gareth suggested cautiously, as if he was afraid Cris was going to laugh in his face.

Cristiano hated board games from the bottom of his heart but he knew he had to make some sort of effort. So he conceded and nodded his head. ''Sure, let's do it,''  
Gareth's eyes became as huge as marbles. ''Really?''

''Yes, really,''  
''Okay then,'' Gareth chuckled, looking as enthusiastic as a child at the prospect of playing a board game.

He put Clue on the table and they spend a good hour and a half kicking each other's asses, as they tried to guess who the killer was, where they had done it and with what item.

Cris won one of the games but Gareth beat him two times. And surprisingly, it was really _nice_.

To spend time with each other, playing a game that Cristiano hadn't played in ages.  
He didn't even resented Gareth for beating him two times. He had had far too much fun to be mad at him.

''Well this was great fun, but I'm going to get ready for bed,'' Gareth said when he had put the game back into the box and shoved it into his suitcase.

''Yes, me too. It's late,'' Cris said with a gaze at his watch. Nearly twelve o'clock. Usually when he was rooming with Pepe, they went to bed far earlier, but he hadn't even noticed his own exhaustion because he was having more fun than he had experienced in a long time.

Gareth disappeared into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. When he returned, he put on a simple white t-shirt and snuck under the white covers.  
''Good night Cris,'' he mumbled, as he suppressed a yawn.

''Good night Gareth,'' Cris said. He winked at him before he stepped into the bathroom for his evening shower. He usually showered twice a day. After training and before bed.

When he walked back into the hotel room he saw that Gareth was lying on his stomach, one arm firmly pressed under his pillow and the other draped on top of it. He was breathing heavily and Cris wondered if he was already asleep.

He had no clue if Gareth was an easy sleeper or not, so he stepped on his toes and walked toward his own bed. He put on a shirt mostly for Gareth's sake; usually he slept in only his underwear. He didn't want to make Gareth feel uncomfortable, which was bizarre because he had seen him naked countless times.

As he twisted and turned in the bed, trying to get comfy he realized quickly that he wouldn't sleep much tonight.

Unlike Gareth, he was a difficult sleeper and hotel rooms usually had crappy beds. Also his heated debate with Pepe was eating away at his conscience. Despite of Pepe's anger, Cris still felt bad about it.

Pepe was his most loyal friend and companion.

He was Cristiano's brother, for better or worse. In Cristiano's anger he had said that Pepe wasn't his family.

How could he have said something like that, Pepe was the closest thing to family he had in the team.

He truly needed a muzzle sometimes, to protect himself from hurting the people he loved.

He decided to fix his mistake, put his baggy pants on and his Nike slippers. ''Where are you going?'' a tiny, sleepy voice asked.

Cristiano turned back to Gareth. ''To see Pepe, I need to apologize for something mean I said. I was out of line today,''

Gareth sat up in his bed, leaning against the headboard, folding his arms together. ''He'll forgive you for it. Pepe loves you to death dude,''  
Cris felt a warm feeling stir in his chest. ''I know, I just hate myself for being-well me sometimes,''

Gareth patted on the covers, indicating that Cristiano sit down on the bed with him.

Cristiano, to his own amazement, obliged without hesitating.

He sat down across from Gareth and waited for him to speak.

''Don't _hate_ yourself okay, you are a nice guy despite all the judgements about you,'' Gareth told him, making Cris cringe with his misdirected kindness.

''How can you say that to me? Of all people! Seriously! I've never been nice to you apart from the last couple of days. I'm not a nice guy usually and you know it,''

Gareth took ahold of his right hand. It was a surprisingly warm touch, Cris would have thought that Gareth's hands would be cold but the opposite was true. ''Look at me,'' he demanded and Cristiano once again, obeyed.

''I don't hate you, nor have I ever hated you. Yes things have been _awkward_ between us for years but I have never hated you or thought that you were a bad man. I saw kindness in you even when you didn't. It's so sad to see someone like you hating himself.  
That someone so beautiful, so popular like you can be this lonely. I think in many ways you are more lonely than I have been for the past three years. But I do like you. You are a good guy, overall. Understood?''

Cris leaned in and pulled Gareth to his chest. It was an impulse move and he wasn't quite sure where it was coming from.

Perhaps it was just nice that someone believed in him, even when he didn't.

''Thank you,'' he murmured into Gareth's neck as he held him tightly.

''Uh-you're welcome. Can you let me go now, you're suffocating me a little bit,'' Gareth's muffled voice squeaked.  
Cris did what he asked and forced a blush to evaporate from his face. ''Sorry,''

''It's okay, but I really need some sleep now. Talk to you tomorrow okay?''  
''Yes, okay,''

Cris took his phone and sent an apology to Pepe in a text.  
Things between them would be fine, as long as he groveled a little bit.

That he had taken another step forward with Gareth meant a lot more to him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC....._


	4. The closer I get to you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gareth unveils his special 'abilities'. 
> 
> It doesn't turn out quite as good as he had hoped it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I have made Alba into Gareth's niece, simply because I wanted her involved in this story. She could be his sister's child couldn't she? 
> 
> Also Reiki can be considered to be a real 'ability', I happen to have healing hands myself while I'm the most down to earth girl I know.  
> I could always take my mom's pain away just by using my hands. 
> 
> So Gareth has that quality as well. It's a bit wacky perhaps but I liked it. It's good for the story.
> 
> There will be a second chapter to this day, because I want to write the game but due to time limitations I can't do it today. I hope you guys like this chapter! 
> 
> Sorry it took so long. The move to England has gone really well, I feel really at home here.

_Day three._

 

 

 

 

One thing that Cristiano Ronaldo had learned over the past night was that Gareth Bale, a twenty-seven year old _man_ from Wales, was as cuddly a sleeper as a two-year old, who slept with his pillow firmly pressed against his side.

He had slept on his side, his arms draped around the long white cotton as his jaw had dangled open from time to time, producing microscopic droplets of drool that drizzled down his chin and landed on the sheet.

Cristiano hadn't slept that well, as predicted.

He hated hotel rooms and their godawful beds. Also, the fact that he had to sleep with a shirt and actual underwear on bugged the crap out of him. The V-neck of the shirt was straining at his neck like a noose.

So he had spend the night doing something useful for once; studying Gareth's sleep patterns like the OCD-type person he could be sometimes. He knew he could be extreme when it came to patterns, routine and tidiness, but that was just the guy he was.

He hated clutter, disarray and losing _control_ of his life.

Having a mild case of OCD wasn't easy on him, and it certainly didn't benefit his personal relationships with people.

He used to drive them absolutely up the walls with it. He tried to get rid of it, to let things slide from time to time, but he just couldn't get over it.

Therefore the reason for most of his breakups wasn't his girlfriends or so called ''boyfriends'' but Cristiano himself.

They usually couldn't deal with his neurosis anymore and left.

Cristiano had known from early on that he liked both boys and girls, although he had a slight preference for boys, just as the entire world already suspected. They all pretty much assumed he was as gay as pink suede, which was only half true.

He had _show_ girlfriends, like Irina, who were only there to keep up appearances and to be his friend/companion.

But he knew, deep down that he wasn't getting away with it. People already knew the truth.

When he was looking at Gareth that night, he started wondering something. Was Gareth dating anyone?

He couldn't recall if he had a girlfriend or not, seeing how he never asked him a single question that was about his personal life and he never really listened when Gareth spoke with Luka in English about it.

Probably would have been a smart thing to do seeing how awkward it would be if he had to ask Gareth about it now.

If he had a shot at being friends with him, he should probably get invested in his private life.

But how could he do that now, after three years, without looking like a complete tool?

He could ask Luka about it but Cris knew he would be suspicious toward his sudden interest, Luka wasn't stupid after all. But perhaps he could ask Pepe, he always seemed to know _everything_ that happened in the team.

So did Marcelo, but he was clueless about the bet and would also shoot him down, and he would definitely rat him out to Luka seeing how they apparently were such good friends now.

The next Bert and Ernie of the team. How had Cristiano never noticed that before? Was he really that self involved?

He shook his head sternly and felt a shiver go down his spine. Best not to think about his endless shortcoming right now, that would only make him feel even more miserable about himself.

Maybe Pepe was right, maybe he really was a spoiled little shit who only cared for himself. It wasn't a very pleasant thought and when it had gnawed its way into Cristiano's brain, it settled there and refused to let go of him.

When it was after eight in the morning he had texted Pepe to ask him whether Gareth had a girlfriend at the moment.

All he got back was one word: _seriously?_

Which pretty much told him that it was no use to ask Pepe any further questions.

So he decided to take the next logical step in his slightly stalking mood and he googled Gareth.

He didn't learn much from his google intel, so he went onto his Facebook but most of his pictures were private. The few he could see were all about his family, which wasn't news to Cris.

He realized very well that Gareth was a family man who talked to his parents like clockwork and had a very good bond with his sister Vicky, who had a daughter named Alba Violet. Gareth was in most of the pictures with her, snuggling up to her, giving her kisses.

It was a lot more endearing that Cristiano could have imagined it to be.

He found himself staring at the picture for a long time when Gareth scared the crap out of him by producing a loud snore.

His Instagram told Cristiano nothing about a potential girlfriend so he decided that it was probably a safe assumption to say that Gareth was either single or just dating someone brand spanking new.

Which was something he could ask about, if Gareth ever decided to wake up from his deep slumber.  
Around nine, he finally did.

Cristiano had been occupying himself by texting with some of his friends, one of them Marcelo, and playing CandyCrush.

Gareth was draped onto his side, clutching the pillow when the alarm on his phone started beeping. He flew up in his bed, clearly startled, dropping the pillow to the carpet in the process. His dark hair had been half untangled from the ponytail and was dancing on his left shoulder. 

He snatched the phone from the nightstand and shut it off with a groan. When he noticed Cristiano's insisted staring he flushed. ''Hello, good morning,''  
''Good morning sleepyhead,'' Cristiano retorted dryly.

''What do you mean _sleepyhead_? It's only nine,'' Gareth replied, frowning confused.

''I always wake up at seven, with or without an alarm,'' Cris knew he was sounding a lot like the teachers pet with that comment and internally kicked himself for it.

Gareth snorted unimpressed. ''Well good for you,'' he said with a voice dripping with sarcasm. ''Have you slept all right?''

''Not exactly no, but I never do in hotel rooms,''

''They're not good for you are they?'' Something in Gareth's words, or perhaps his _judgmental_ tone, hit a nerve with Cristiano.

''What's that suppose to mean? That I'm a _spoiled_ fucking brat? Thanks a lot,''

Gareth's expression softened and he lifted the pillow from the ground, folded it behind his back and leaned against it, crossing his arms defensively. ''I never said anything in that context. Do not put words in my mouth that I've never uttered please,''

''But you _were_ implying it,''

Gareth's cheeks darkened once again, a tad more endearing now. ''Not exactly, I wasn't saying that you're spoiled at all.  
Just that Marcelo told Luka that you're a very difficult sleeper and that you can only sleep in your own bed. So I assumed you had struggled to find sleep due to that story. Not because I think that you're a spoiled brat.  
I just didn't want to make you feel like we had been gossiping about you, because we hadn't. It wasn't meant in an offensive way Cris,''

His deep, blue eyes were so sincere that Cris instantly believed him, much to his own surprise.

Cristiano found himself smiling, besides himself, all his previous heated anger forgotten. ''It's all right, don't worry about it. Just a misunderstanding,''

''It's nice to see your hair like that by the way, all curly and wild,'' Gareth complimented.

Cris trailed a furious hand through his untamable dark locks and sighed. ''I hate them honestly, hence the buckets of gel I put in there before I usually let you guys see me,''

''You shouldn't hate them, they look _really_ good. Honestly,''  
Cris smiled appreciative. ''Thanks,''

''So do you want the shower first or can I get in there?''  
''No you take it, it's fine,''

When Gareth vanished into the bathroom, Cris send an app to Grizi. _'I'm a fucking idiot'_

Ping _. 'Uh-oh. What did you do this time?'_

Cris' fingers danced over the screen _. 'I offended him by implying that he was calling me a spoiled brat, which he wasn't doing at all. Oh and I googled him,'_

Ping _. 'Oh for fuck's sake. Okay, that last statement is slightly pathetic, but can't you two get along for once? Think about your bet! Try to be nice. It's a bad sign if you're fighting that early on the day,'_

Cris sighed annoyed, knowing that Grizi was right and conceded.

_'You're right, I just don't know how to talk to him. We had such a great time last night, we played a board game and laughed our asses off and now, it's all frigid again because of me. It's like I have to start building my bridges again after yesterday for I already bombed them down today,'_

It took Grizi a while to reply, which indicated that he was musing about the right thing to say.

Ping _. 'Well that's good news isn't it? That you had such a good time together last night? Can't you just work from there, hold onto the good memories and give him a shot?'_

Cris typed back quickly. _'Yes I can do that. He really is a good guy, the problem in the relationship is just me, as it always is. I fuck everything up in my life. It's the one thing I'm good at after football: failing relationships and antagonizing people,'_

Ping. _'Wow, does anyone actually care for the whole martyr act because I don't. Stop whining and get it together. Smile a bit more, lose the attitude and you'll definitely win him over. Like you did with me ;-)'_

Cris grumbled, a tad aggravated with Grizi calling him a martyr, but when he re-read his own text he couldn't blame him.

Karim would have definitely called him a martyr as well if he had read it.

He missed talking to Karim about the bet. He wished he could tell him the truth. Karim _always_ knew what to do.  
But Grizi was as good a judge of character he supposed. He would have to do.

Another ping disrupted his hazy mind.

_'Come on Cris, I don't mean it that harsh and you know it. Please don't start ignoring me now. I'm just trying to help out, like Karim would have me do in his stead. He would want me to look after you if he couldn't do it. Plus, I'm your best 'neighbor/friend' aren't I?'_

Cris smiled despite himself. 

_'Yes you are. I'm sorry for ignoring you. Thank you for the help. It has been great. Tell Koke I said hello okay,'_

Ping _. 'I will, good luck for the game today :-)'_

_'Thank you,'_

Cris put the phone back under his pillow and exhaled deep.

Despite his cocky demeanor about the game, he started to get nervous for tonight now. The team hadn't exactly performed stably for the past few weeks. They hadn't won a game in a little while, they only had draws.

There were many injuries plaguing the team and starting players like Casemiro and Marcelo were down. Which was truly bad news.

To make matters worse, Fabio still wasn't back from his injury yet and Cristiano's knee was _still_ hurting.

It was always aching and nagging him like a fly at a barbecue.

He knew that he really ought to take some time off to let it rest properly but it had been slowing him down for a long time now and he seldom had time off work.

So he usually played through the pain, and against the doctors advice to take it easy.

He knew that he shouldn't do that, but he felt obligated to shove his needs aside for his team. After all, he was considered to be the second best, or best player in the world. He couldn't let his fans and teammates down. 

They _needed_ him. But he wasn't playing like himself lately, he had been lacking form and precision. He was missing chances left and right, lacking accuracy. 

Which put the team in a dangerous disadvantage over the other teams they faced.

Karim also wasn't very fit and was struggling to find his stamina again.  
The pain in his knee was flaring up again and he rubbed his hands over the sore muscle as he tried to massage it away, but he failed.

He hadn't even heard the door opening.

Gareth was suddenly standing beside his bed, a towel draped around his waist, but he was barefoot and dripping all over the carpet, much to Cristiano's annoyance.

Oh well, at least he didn't have to clean it up.

Gareth's chest was heaving up and down as if he had ran the marathon or taken one of his legendary sprints.

 

''What's wrong?'' Gareth asked sharply as he sat himself down on Cris' bed without invitation. ''Uh excuse me? What the fuck are you going on about?''

Gareth frowned, as if Cristiano's question had been ridiculous. ''I thought I heard you calling out for help, I know you're not feeling well. You're knee is hurting again,''

Cristiano's jaw dropped despite his best efforts to keep a steady face. ''What?''

''Do I need to say it again?'' Gareth offered tentatively.

''How on god's good earth, could _you_ know that my knee is hurting? And I hadn't called out for help. Can you please move off my bed, you're turning it into a goddamn swimming pool,'' 

Well there was no lie there, the white sheets had been drenched with Gareth's soaking body.

Gareth took his wild gesturing hands into his and forced them down on Cris' blanket with a surprisingly firm touch.

He let his hands go as quick as he could and folded his own together. ''Calm down please. I will tell you but you have to promise me you won't laugh at me,''

Cris narrowed his eyes suspiciously. ''Okay,''

''Promise me,'' Gareth demanded, voice lower and more serious than Cris had ever heard.  
''I promise I won't laugh at you,'' he vowed solemnly, as he offered him his pinkie to make a pinkie swear.

Gareth accepted it with a careful smile and inhaled, looking suddenly as tensed as a skittish horse.

''I can sometimes feel people's pain. It first started with my family, when my mum had a headache or when my dad suffered from his arthritis. I could literally _feel_ it, as if it was my own pain, but I knew it was theirs. So when I was just in the shower I felt a throbbing pain shoot up my knee and I knew somehow that it wasn't mine. It had to be yours. And I could swear that I heard you calling out for some help. So I stepped out to see if I could assist you with it,''

Cristiano could only stare.

His initial thought was that Gareth was probably sought by a man with a huge butterfly net and a buck load of pills but the Welshman's eyes were so dead serious that he knew that Gareth wasn't kidding. He actually _believed_  that he was telling the truth.

Gareth's eyes turned from anxiousness to disappointment. ''You don't believe me,'' he said, a sadness in his voice that wasn't like him.

Cristiano shook his head and forced himself to place his hand on Gareth's damp arm. ''No, I never said that. In fact, I suddenly recall that my grandmother had a healing touch as well. When I felt sick as a child, she sort of-took it away with her hands. She could sense pain too. Can you also do whatever it was that she did?''

Gareth nodded slowly. ''Well sometimes. I could cure my mum's small symptoms but I always struggled with my dad. I've never told anyone on the team this before Cristiano, not even Luka. I don't want people thinking that I'm bloody insane or something. Please don't tell anyone about this,''

''Of course not. Your secret's safe with me, I vow that to you,''

''Thank you, do you mind if I try to ease your pain a little bit?'' Gareth asked it so politely, so light-hearted that it felt like he was asking Cris if he could take a free kick in his stead. As if this wasn't a big deal.

''Umm well if you want to. I mean you don't _have_ to. Does it hurt you?'' Cristiano asked, sincerely interested and curious now at the foresight of handing control to Gareth.

It wasn't natural to him, to offer someone else the reins. And yet, it didn't feel uncomfortable.

Something inside of him told him that he could trust Gareth with pretty much anything. That he wasn't lying to him.

Gareth shook his head. ''No it doesn't hurt me to help you out. It would ease the pain for you and for me. I'm literally feeling it right now and I cannot imagine how you live with that everyday. Does it always hurt like that?''

''Unfortunately yes, although it has good and bad days,''  
''Shit, you shouldn't be playing ninety minute games with it, I don't know how you do it,''

''You sound like my fucking doctor and physiotherapist at the same time,'' Cris grinned.  
''Well they're not wrong are they?''

Cristiano shrugged. ''I guess not,''

''Could you bare your leg for me so that I can-'' Gareth blushed uncontrollably and Cristiano felt his own cheeks heat up as well. He was grateful that he was wearing underwear for once but still, it was a bit awkward.

He folded the blanket back and revealed the left leg that he had grown to hate so immensely over the years. It was clean shaven, tanned naturally, muscled and smooth and yet, it was a bit strange to offer it to Gareth like that.

Knowing what he wanted to do for him.

It had been ages since his grandma had done this to him.

Her hands always used to get hot like ovens and he would feel all tingly at her touch. When she was through, his pain had vanished.

Perhaps it was just the placebo effect, to know that it would evaporate because she said so, but he couldn't care less. As long as it worked.

If Gareth managed to pull this off, Cris would be _forever_ grateful to him.

Gareth slowly placed his hands to the sides of Cristiano's knee and somehow laid them on the exact spot where his pain was residing. He must have sensed its location. Cristiano grumbled despite his intentions to not show any signs of weakness.

He had to stifle a groan in the back of his throat. 

Gareth smiled assuring and folded his hands a bit tighter around the painful muscles and let them rest there.

The hands were warm and comforting and Cristiano immediately felt better.

Gareth did what his doctor always did and decided to spend the time by making small talk. ''So are you dating anyone right now? I heard something about a model,''

Cris grinned amiable at him. ''Yes that was in the tabloids wasn't it? It's not true though. I'm not dating her, she's just in my presence to keep up appearances,''  
Gareth hummed.

''What about you? Anyone _special_ in your life?'' Cris asked but Gareth shook his head. ''Nah, I'm a bit done with women to be honest. They are lovely but I had a bad break up last year and have been a bit weary of them ever since,''

''You should date men then, they're much easier going,'' Cristiano suggested with a sly smirk.  
Gareth smiled nervously. ''Have you ever done it? Actually _dating_ a guy I mean,''

Cris shrugged. ''Not really, I usually slept with them but I only ever dated girls, I couldn't risk dating guys. And with the girls it weren't exactly real relationships anyway.  
I'm not that easy to understand for most people. I scare them away with my OCD and impossible standards,'' 

He decided not to tell Gareth about Fabio. He didn't need to know. 

Gareth nodded understanding. ''I see,''

His hands had become impossibly warm on Cristiano's skin and he couldn't resist to look at them. Gareth's hands were truly beautiful, a bit pale but tall, broad and masculine.

How had he never noticed that before? The grip on his knee was firm but gentle at the same time.

Cristiano took his time looking at them, taking the sight of it all in while he slowly felt his pain ebbing away.

''It's working isn't it?'' Gareth mumbled.

Cristiano nodded slowly, never noticing that his eyes had fallen shut and his head was lingering back against the headboard.

Strangely, this was one of the most intimate situations that he had ever shared with anyone.

It made him a bit needy for more touching, more comfort and without thinking about it he moved his head from the headboard to Gareth's moist shoulder, resting it there.

His heart was hammering in his chest due to the insanity of his own actions and he heard Gareth's breathing becoming erratic and flustered. As if he had been just as startled with Cris' impulsiveness as he had been.

This wasn't like Cristiano, to just let someone climb over his ten-feet psychological wall and allow them to set up camp into his personal space.

He never let anyone see the _real_ Cristiano.

But, well here he was.

Curly haired, without his perfect designer clothes on, just being himself. Pretentious-less, no masks. Just who he was born to be. 

 _Baring_ himself like a newborn child to Gareth Bale, of all people.

Oh the fucking irony of it all.

How had it come to this? What was it about Gareth that he suddenly trusted him with his life?

He had never felt that about the Welshman before. _Never_.

Suddenly everything had changed between them.

No correction: Cristiano had suddenly changed everything between them.

Gareth was just sitting there, doing his miracle, Jesus-like work but Cris felt all of his muscles tensing due to his sudden need for intimacy. He was nearly resembling a statue.

''Relax Gareth,'' he hummed in the shell of his ear, which was hovering near his lips.

Gareth shivered and inhaled deep. ''What are you-''

''I was trying to relax, you should too,''

Gareth snorted soft, as if Cristiano's suggestion was completely insane. He focused his attention back to the leg and ignored Cristiano's words.

Cris had grown a bit bolder, due to the fact that Gareth hadn't told him to fuck off and had nuzzled his head a bit deeper into the nook of Gareth's neck, just below the carotid artery.

He could feel the rapid pulse hammering under his touch, could nearly feel Gareth's nerves. The little beads of water combined with nervous sweat, drooping over his supple skin.

Tension was rising between them and Cris felt his stomach fluttering with something he hadn't ever felt before.

Gareth scraped his throat a minute later. ''Uhm-I think you're all set,''

Cristiano wiggled his toes and to his own shock noticed that the pain had vanished into thin air.

He was practically pain free for the first time in years.

He raised his head from Gareth's shoulder and stared long and intense in his blue, dependable eyes.

His hand moved on its own and somehow landed on Gareth's bearded cheek. ''Thank you. You have no idea what you just did for me,'' he told him as he leaned forward to kiss Gareth's forehead.

It was a soft and grateful kiss that he meant from the bottom of his heart but when he pulled back, the sheer shock on Gareth's face caused his stomach to flip.

For one second Gareth actually leaned in closer, as if he wanted to kiss Cristiano's cheek but at the last second he held back.

His nose lingered about an inch from Cristiano's and he could literally feel Gareth's breath stroking over his lips.

Just when Cris wanted to lean in for-well he wasn't sure what for, it just felt right-Gareth flinched and slid off the bed as if he had been burned with hot water.

He ran into the bathroom mumbling a muffled 'you're welcome,' and vanished, locking the door behind himself.

Cristiano buried his face into his pillow, groaning at his own stupidity and impulsiveness. What the fuck was he thinking would happen?  
He didn't even dare to go there. The thought alone was too terrifying to think.

Gareth strolled out of the bathroom a minute later, fully dressed and properly flushed.

He refused to look at Cristiano, he just grabbed his phone, shoved it in his jeans, grabbed his keycard and left, mumbling something about going for breakfast.

Cristiano exhaled deep as he tried to calm himself. What the fuck had happened to his life? Why was he being so stupid around Gareth? Why was he feeling less and less in control of everything. This bet was spinning out of control and it was screwing everything up.

He needed Pepe. Now more than ever.  
He got dressed in record time, neglected to put gel in his hair and ran two stairs down to knock on Pepe's hotel door.

When his best friend finally opened the door his eyes widened. ''Cris? What is-''

Cristiano collapsed into his arms with a muffled sob and held Pepe so tight that he feared he might have cracked his ribs.  
''-the problem?'' Pepe groaned from the death grip.

Cris shook his head into Pepe's shoulder and sniffed. ''Are you crying?'' Pepe asked sharply. Cristiano shook his head again, too proud to admit to defeat.  
''Liar,'' Pepe grumbled. ''Come on, let's get you inside,''

Pepe pulled him inside.

Cristiano was _safe_ with Pepe. He would always be safe with Pepe. Even if he had a tendency to fuck his life up through his stupid bets.

Gareth however, now that was becoming a _problem_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC....._


	5. I still miss you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prelude and aftermath of the Dortmund game. 
> 
> Cristiano tells Karim everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long guys. 
> 
> My move to England has gone really well, I've settled in and have a lot of time to write more stuff. So here is the second chapter of the third day. Hope you guys like it. 
> 
> Let me know.

_Day three._

 

 

 

 

Lunch had been-well _awkward_.

The entire team gathered in the dining room of the hotel for their usual buffet. Cristiano filled his plate with steamed veggies and a piece of grilled chicken breast. His usual lunch.

He had clumsily bumped against Gareth's back in the line, who he hadn't seen coming whatsoever and nearly dropped his plate all over the floor.

Gareth had flushed, mumbling an apology before he spurted off, sitting besides Luka, staring at anyone but Cristiano.

Cristiano sighed, aggravated with himself and slid down in a random chair.  
When he looked to his side, he saw Toni sitting on one side of him and Isco on the other.

Toni had always been a bit of a loner, even when he tried not to be, who preferred to eat his usual salad with pasta in total silence.

Cris mumbled a 'enjoy your lunch,' at Toni but decided to leave him be and chattered mechanically with Isco about tonight's game.

He wasn't even really listening to Isco, but he, on contrary to Toni, was rarely ever quiet and Cris didn't want to raise any more eyebrows.  
So he followed his usual pre-game routine.

After lunch and a light afternoon training, where the biggest highlight was that Sergio destroyed yet another goal net and Isco trashed a camera, they went back to the hotel.

When Cris entered their room, Gareth, once again, wasn't there.

Luka however was. How had he even got in? Probably with Gareth's keycard, he pondered.

''Hey Luka, how is it going?'' Cristiano asked, hoping to see a smile on Luka's ever serious face but he wasn't that lucky.

He had a feeling that he already knew _exactly_ why Luka was there.

''I really need to speak with you,'' Luka deadpanned, a semi furious look on his lean features.

Luka wasn't the type of man who you turned down. If he wanted to speak with you, you listened to him.

He earned so much respect from the team that whenever he opened his mouth, you hung onto every word he said.

He was their midfield _king_. The best damn midfielder Cris had seen in ages.

Not even Xabi couldn't hold a candle to Luka.  
Luka was more elegant somehow, more refined and technical. Xabi had been a ram that hit the wall. 

Toni was brilliant too and did a lot of dirty work, but Luka, god, Cris couldn't imagine this team without Luka.

There probably wasn't a player who he respected or valued more.

All of his teammates were highly valuable, but whenever they lost Luka, shit always hit the fan.

He was their little Croatian magician. The one who kept the games in control. Without him, everything was in disarray.

''Okay, please sit down,'' Cristiano said, ignoring the beating of his heart that echoed in his ears.

Fuck he was absolutely _terrified_ of what Luka would say to him.  
Luka sat down on his bed and Cristiano joined him, feeling the nerves creep over his spine.

Luka inhaled deep. ''So what's your game with Gareth?''  
Cris frowned. ''Game?''

''Don't play stupid with me please, I know you're up to something. You're properly screwing with his head. Why are you doing this? Is he the last remaining player on your _infamous_ list,''

''List? What the hell are you talking about Luka,'' Cristiano asked, feeling completely blindsided by Luka's strange accusations.

''There's a rumor going around that you keep a list, of all the teammates you've slept with. And once you sleep with them you check them off,'' Luka said, voice harsher than Cris had ever heard before.

Cristiano's jaw dropped instantly, his insides turned to ice. ''Excuse me?''

''Is it not true then? Because from what I've heard you take great pride in having sex with as many of your colleagues as possible.  
Did you just figure out that Gareth was the one missing and decided to take action or something like that? Collect another piece for your set?  
It's not exactly classy to screw with his head like this. He's all confused now. So I would like to know what your game is,'' Luka demanded.

Cristiano's jaw was still dangling open, his eyes felt huge and he couldn't help but feel as if he had just been kicked to the stomach. Luka's words had disturbed him so tremendously, it had completely wrecked him.

How could Luka think so low of him? Did everyone in the team take him for a huge slut?

Yes he had slept with a number of his teammates over the past few years, but he had never actually kept a list, nor bragged about them to anyone. When he first arrived in Madrid, it had been Sergio, a handful of times.

Sergio had been amazingly- _lazy_ in bed.

Not even that good, but there was something so appealing about him that Cristiano found himself going back five times.  
Probably his Greek god-like features and delicious tongue.

After Sergio it had been Mesut Ozil, after a drunken night. That had only happened once. Ozil had been quite good, much to his surprise.

One night, after winning the Copa del Rey, Cris had gone home with Iker. Who had moaned into his ear as he rode him, calling him Sergio at the moment supreme. Cris had gotten the hell out of there five minutes later, embarrassed.

He and Guti had kissed once, but had been rudely interrupted by Raul who came bursting through the door, face hot with repressed fury.

Guti had changed his mind then and there and had left him alone, picking Raul over everyone as he usually did.

Fabio had always been more than just sex, they had actually shared a secret relationship for nearly two years.

Cris had loved Fabio, with all his heart. But Fabio had always loved his wife more than he would ever love Cris.

The same went for Kaka, who also slept with Cris but never left his wife for him. Kaka had been a force of nature and Cris often found himself missing the Brazilian's gentle touches and tender, heartfelt kisses.

On one drunken night he had even let Sami fuck him, just because he was bored.

Sami was amazingly good in bed, far better than he had ever expected him to be.

He had figured that Sami would be a slightly boring gentleman in bed, just like he was in life, but Sami had been adventurous and wild, much to his delighted surprise.

He had went back to Sami for nine delicious treats and had numerous orgasms during all those times.  
After Sami, he had nearly gone there with Karim once.

But as soon as his lips landed on Karim's a nauseous feeling erupted in his stomach. It was like kissing his brother.

They broke apart simultaneously, looking disgusted at each other, vowing to never do that again.

A few weeks ago, it had been Lucas Vazquez, who wasn't necessarily attractive but had spunk and character.

A kid so feisty in bed that he had rocked Cristiano's world. It had been one of the best shags he had ever had.

Lucas wasn't gay, but was just up for anything really. Kids these days were wild like that apparently.

That was only seven of his teammates, that wasn't too bad was it?

Cristiano didn't count Pique, seeing how he was no longer his teammate.

Nor did he mention the one time he had let Messi fuck him after the Balon d'Or gala, last year. He kept that piece of information close to his chest. Not even Karim knew about that. 

Despite of only having slept with seven of his teammates, Luka still had the idea in his head that Cris was a professional shagger who fucked everything in sight. It was offensive really.

''I don't have a _game_ Luka, or an ulterior motive. I just felt like me and Gareth would be better off burying the past and starting fresh. I'm not trying to fuck with his head in any way,'' Cristiano told Luka.

''Well you _are_ fucking with his head. I don't know what exactly happened in this room today, but he's all messed up thanks to you. He won't tell me what went on in here, so that leaves me with little choice but to make my own conclusions,''

''Your conclusions are _false_ Luka, I didn't do anything to him.  
Nor is he on my non-existing list. I've only slept with seven of my teammates over the years, and I swear to god that I've never made a list about them. They weren't objects to me. I do actually have feelings despite of my 'machine' nickname. But that really isn't any of your _business_ now is it?''

Luka hummed, agitated. ''Maybe not, but Gareth's wellbeing and happiness _is_ my business. I won't have you fucking him over, not on my watch,''

Cris rolles his eyes angrily. ''I'm not fucking him over! For god's sake Luka! Will you back the fuck off! I haven't done anything to him and I don't wanna have sex with him, I swear to god,''

As soon as he had said it, a mental picture of himself naked, nestled away in Gareth's arms appeared in his mind.

He felt the same heat and excitement as he had felt when Gareth took his pain away and they had been so close to kissing.

When he told Luka he wasn't interested, he suddenly realized that it was a complete lie. It had _become_ a lie.

He was interested in Gareth.

Jesus Christ.  
How the hell had that happened? How had Gareth fucking Bale crawled his way under his skin?

Luka narrowed his amber eyes, looking skeptical. ''I don't believe you,''

Cristiano grumbled and thought that he didn't believe himself either, but he couldn't tell Luka the truth.

It was too terrifying to even think it, let alone say it out loud to Gareth's best friend.

Luka placed a hand on Cris' and sighed. ''Just don't hurt him okay, he's been through enough crap for one lifetime. Don't turn him into your new toy. He's sensitive and caring, but his heart is too big and too open to anyone. He trusts people too easily. If you are genuinely interested in him then I won't get in your way, but please, don't jerk him around,''

Cris nodded curt and clenched onto Luka's hand. ''I'll keep that in mind, thank you. But please don't ever call me the team's _slut_ again, I don't appreciate it,''

Luka pulled him into a brief hug. ''I'm sorry that I implied that, I didn't mean it that harsh. It's just-well people talk now don't they?''  
''Unfortunately they do, yes,''

''I should have just asked you about it, instead of believing those gossips, so sorry about that,'' Luka apologized, eyes a lot kinder now. More gullible.

Cris stroked a lock of blond hair out of his face and wrapped him into a tight hug. ''No worries Lukita, I understand why you believed them. But please just talk to me the next time okay?''

''I will, see you in a bit,'' Luka chimed.  
''Will Gareth come back?'' Cris wanted to know before he left.

''I don't know, maybe,'' Luka shrugged.  
''Put in a good word for me will you?''

Luka gnawed on his lower lip, clearly doubtful whether he should oblige. ''Fine,'' he finally said.

When Luka left, Cristiano felt his mind working overdrive.

The image of himself and Gareth in big a bed together wouldn't stop nagging at him. It was strangely exciting.

He had never been attracted to the Welshman, mostly due to his pale complexion, his numerous freckles and slightly big ears.

But now, the freckles seemed to be alluring, the ears were suddenly cute and white skin was ideal to suck hickeys onto. Cris folded his head into his hands and sighed deep, annoyed with himself. Confused as hell.

There was a knock from the door and in one hopeful second Cris felt convinced that it was Gareth.

But Gareth had a key, he wouldn't have to knock.  
''Who is it?'' he yelled.

''It's me,'' Karim's voice quipped from behind the door.

Cris felt a wave of disappointment wash over him. ''I'm coming,'' he said quickly, not wanting to give Karim the feeling that he wasn't welcome.

He walked to the door, sliding it open, faking a smile at the Frenchman. ''Hey Benzo,''

''Hey, wow could you look any more disappointed to see me. Should I be offended?'' he asked but Cris shook his head. ''Of course not, I'm happy to see you,''

Karim snorted. ''Liar,''  
''You know me too well,''

''What's going on with you today? You've been absent all day, I'm worried about you. You've been behaving strange for days now. Are you ever going to tell me what's going on?''

''I want to, really I do. But I can't Karim. I promised Pepe to keep quiet about our bet,''  
''Oh you made another bet with Pepe, that makes sense then,'' Karim retorted, as he sat down on the bed besides Cris.

''I wasn't suppose to tell anyone about that actually, so you need to keep quiet about it,'' Cris urged, feeling so damn stupid that he had told Karim about the bet.

Karim was a clever guy and would definitely figure out that the bet was about Gareth.

''I will dude, that explains why you've been so buddy-buddy with Bareth lately hasn't it? It's all part of the bet. Pepe forced you to hang out with him didn't he?'' Karim asked, smiling triumphantly.

Cris swore under his breath. ''He did,''

''Holy crap, that's actually pretty clever,''  
''Is it?''

''Well it's working isn't it? You two have become a lot closer lately. But then again, today at lunch you've been awkward around him. Did something happen?''

''Yes, but I cannot talk about it, not with you. I swore to Pepe that I would keep quiet about it,''

''Don't you _trust_ me Cris?''

Cristiano choked on his bottle of Gatorade. ''How the hell can you even ask something like that of me? Of course I trust you, with my life. You're my brother Karim. There's no one who I trust more in this team,''

''You trust me more than Pepe? I'm flattered,'' Karim snorted, as he offered Cris a tissue to clean the orange drink off his shirt.  
''Well I trust you two about the same amount I think,''

''What about Fabio?''

Cristiano cringed, despite himself. Even the sound of Fabio's name ached at his heart. ''I _love_ Fabio, still. A large part of me always will. But we have some serious issues.  
He doesn't even answer the fucking phone when I call him anymore. He always used to be here for me you know, and now there's just radio silence. It feels lonely without him,''

Karim held onto his hand and stroked his thumb over his palm. ''I'm sorry to hear that. You can always talk about it with me if you want. I'm _always_ here for you. Also with this stuff with Gareth. If you need to speak about it, you know where to find me. I would never betray your trust,''

Cristiano stared into Karim's loyal, trusting eyes and folded.

He told Karim everything in one long breath. He no longer cared whether Pepe would find out about it or not.

He needed to talk about it with his brother. Needed Karim's advice.

Cris didn't tell him about the Reiki, that he kept to himself.

He had promised Gareth to keep his secret and he held his word.

But he did say that he and Gareth had nearly kissed and that it had confused him, turned everything he knew around in his mind.

Karim just listened, eyes kind and understanding. His hand never leaving Cristiano's.

He told him that he had spoken about all of it with Grizi and he could see a shard of resentment in Karim's face that Cris had confided in Grizi instead of him.

When Cris assured him that he merely wanted to honor the bet, the insecurity left Karim's eyes.

When he was finished speaking, Karim exhaled deep. ''Thank you for trusting me. I'm sorry that you feel so confused but I think it's a good sign. You and Gareth are actually going somewhere for once.  
You need to figure out for yourself whether you're just into him because he gives you attention or if you genuinely like him for who he is. You usually fall in love with the attention, not the actual person. That's not a weakness Cris, but you do have to watch out for it. Gareth's a very nice guy who deserves the best. If you're truly falling for him, then great.  
You should see where it leads you, but if you're only into him because of the attention, you need to back off. So I guess you have some thinking to do,''

Cristiano let the words wash over him.

Instinctively he knew that Karim was right about most of it. He did always fall in love with the attention and mostly slept around so much to upgrade his self esteem.  
Was that all it was with Gareth or was he truly into him?

And if he was, why hadn't he never been interested in him before?

He had known him for three years now. Why hadn't he made more of an effort to get on his good side?

Karim pressed Cris close to his chest and held him tightly. He smelled of his typical Armani fragrance and he familiarity of it comforted Cristiano. Karim kissed his cheek. ''Stop over thinking everything dude, I can literally hear your brain cracking,''

''Well can you blame me?'' Cris asked with a sly grin.  
''No, but it's not good for you to be this unfocused before a champions league game. It will throw you off your game and you know it,''

Why was it that Karim was always so spot on when it came to his feelings?

Cris sometimes wished that he could keep some things hidden from his best friend, but Karim saw through him with the greatest of ease.

There was another knock on the door and the handle slid open. Gareth emerged into the hotel room, holding his keycard in his hand, looking a bit bemused and a tiny bit jealous when he saw Cris and Karim hugging.

Cris felt his cheeks grow hot and released Karim quickly. ''Hey Gareth, how is it going?'' Karim grinned as he gave Gareth a fist-bump.

''Good, thank you. How are you guys doing?'' everything about Gareth's words and expressions was measured. Uncomfortable. Reserved.  
His breath had even hitched.

''Karim, would you give us a moment please?'' Gareth mumbled, blushing slightly when he saw Karim's small smile.  
''Yes sure,''

Karim winked at Cristiano and left the room, closing the door with a soft thud.

Gareth sat down on his own bed, across from Cristiano and swallowed deep. ''I uh-wanted to apologize for being a bit distant with you today,''

''You don't have to be, I understand why you did it. I made you feel uncomfortable this morning. I'm sorry for that,'' Cristiano offered.  
''Why did you do it?''

Cris blinked. ''Do what?''  
''Hug me like that,''

''I don't exactly know why, honestly. I just got a bit overwhelmed with the warm feeling of your hands and finally being pain free for the first time in years. I didn't mean to do that, it just-happened. Sorry if I made you feel awkward,'' Cristiano told him the truth, knowing full well that Gareth had deserved to hear it.

It wasn't the whole truth, Cristiano had decided to keep the part where he actually wanted to kiss Gareth out of the equation, but the rest had been true.

Gareth shook his head. ''It's fine, it just took me for surprise that's all. I understand why you did it now,''  
''Good, so can we focus our attention back to the game then?''

Gareth sighed, relieved. ''I would like that,''

They spend the next hour talking team tactics, discussing the best way to attack Dortmund tonight. They called Karim back into the room for a proper BBC conversation. Something they usually did before highly important games.

Karim grinned at them from time to time when Gareth wasn't looking, much to Cristiano's annoyance. When Gareth left for the bathroom, he pounded Karim on his back, snapping at him to give it a rest.

Karim just smiled and decided to ignore him, as usual, like all little brothers did when their older ones gave them orders.

When they left for the stadium the nerves started to gnaw at Cristiano.

He sat besides Pepe in the bus as usual and was as silent as as shadow.

The game was a frustrating disaster mostly. Once again, they didn't win. They had ended it on a 2-2 draw.

Yes Cristiano had scored with a lovely assist from none other than Gareth himself, leading to a warm embrace between them that made Cris' head spin.

But Dortmund had fought back and pulled a draw out of it in the end.

During halftime he and Gareth had joked around about Isco falling besides his seat in the dressing room.

They kept imitating him on the stairs, laughing their asses off at Isco's typical idiocy. How someone this clumsy could be such a good, technical player was beyond Cristiano's understanding.

After the game they flew back to Madrid. Cristiano sat besides Pepe and apped with Grizi.

When they landed, he wished his teammates goodbye, holding Gareth a bit longer than was normal, smelling the coconut of his shampoo in his long hair.

''Can I come over tomorrow?'' Gareth asked, to Cristiano's surprise. ''Of course. Just call me whenever you want,''

Gareth smiled appreciatively. ''Okay, see you later. Good game today,''

''Yes, you too,''  
Gareth stepped in his Audi and drove away.

He had just turned the corner of the parking garage when Cris fished his phone from his pocket and dialed the number.

He got the machine-again. ''Fab, it's me. _Please_ call me back. My head is all over the place. I need to talk to you, please. I think I might be falling for someone I shouldn't fall for. Just call me okay? Please?''

When he got home, Fabio was waiting for him on his front porch, sitting in his lazy chair, swinging casually up and down.

Cris couldn't help it, all of his previous anger and resentment toward Fabio disappeared instantly, Fabio just had a way of melting his heart.

He could always calm him down.

Cristiano had missed him, despite of everything that happened between them.

Fabio had broken his heart by choosing his wife and kids, but Cristiano still needed him in his life.

Still missed not having him around any longer.

Missed the space where he had slept in his bed. It was so cold now that Fabio wasn't there any longer. So fucking cold.

Fabio rose from the chair and took a deep breath. ''Cris, I'm-'' his voice broke and so did Cristiano's defenses.

He took Fabio's cold hand and pulled him into his arms, burying himself into the familiarity of the embrace.

They hadn't hugged like that in ages.

Not since nine months ago when Fabio had ended their relationship. Cris had been bitter about it, but mostly lonely without Fabio in his house.

When Fabio went to France they had been able to maintain their relationship, but the long distance thing weighed on them. When he finally came back to Madrid, things had changed between them.

When Fabio had dumped him, Cristiano had cried for two weeks. Karim and Pepe had pulled him through the hardest time in his life, but honestly, Cris still wasn't completely over Fabio. He still loved him to bits.

Cris placed a peck on top of Fabio's ever soft hair. ''I missed you,'' he murmured.

''Cris,'' Fabio warned sharply, as he struggled against the hug. ''You can't hit on me anymore,''

Cristiano snorted unamused. ''I wasn't trying to. I was just saying that I missed your company, your _friendship_. Not you as my lover. I've just missed you answering your goddamn phone and would have liked it if you hadn't ignored me and treated me like some leper,''

Fabio sighed. ''I'm sorry about that, really I am. Now what is the big emergency? Who are you falling for this time?''

His brown eyes were a bit cold and distorted and suddenly, Cristiano didn't feel like talking to Fabio about Gareth any longer.

How could he talk about his current 'crush' to his former lover, to the man he had loved so intensely.

It would just be a recipe for disaster really. So he swallowed his tongue and shook his head.

''Never mind, it's nothing special really. I'll probably get over it in a second. I just got a lot on my mind. I just miss talking to you about daily things you know. We always used to talk for hours, remember that?''

Fabio smiled fondly. ''Yes I do, and I miss that too,''

''There's no reason why we can't be friends is there?'' Cristiano asked, begging that Fabio would say yes to being best friends again.

Fabio chewed on the inside of his cheek. Another little gesture that Cris had missed. ''I'm not sure that I can be your friend Cris, not after everything that happened between us. Obviously I still have feelings for you. How do we go back to being normal friends after having such an intense relationship? I need to think about it,''

Cris nodded. ''That's fine, let me know when you've made up your mind okay?''

''I will, hang in there. Give Marosca a kiss from me okay?'' Fabio told him, hugging him briefly before releasing him and leaving.

As Cristiano saw him drive off, he felt tears prickling in his eyes.

This was exactly why you shouldn't date one of your best friends. When you break up, maintaining the friendship, picking up where you left of was nearly impossible.

Their relationship had ruined their friendship.

Cristiano had no true regrets, being Fabio's lover was one of the best times in his life, but it had made him weary of starting new relationships again.  
Especially with one of his teammates or close friends.

Perhaps he would be better off to just let Gareth be, he thought rationally.

But that night, when he was lying in his bed and sleep finally caught up with him, he dreamed about having the Welshman in his arms again. Gareth kissed him lavishly and intense, and Cristiano felt the lips tingling on his body.

It made his head spin. 

When he woke up from his alarm, his feelings were all over the place. His heart was hammering in his chest at the thought of Gareth.

Somehow he had the feeling that forgetting that he was into Gareth was not going to be possible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC......._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I didn't type much about the game, mostly because I can't remember much of it. 
> 
> I hope I'm getting Cris' character and his relationship with Fabio right. 
> 
> Hope it's not too much of a downer, but I wanted to show that Cris, despite his slutty attitude does have it in his heart to truly love someone. To not have only loose relationships, but that he's also able to connect with someone on a deeper level.


	6. Acceptance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cris realizes some stuff during his dreams. 
> 
> Gareth comes over for some coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update guys. 
> 
> I hope this isn't going to quick and that you guys like this chapter.

_Day four._

 

 

 

 

_'Hey, I need some advice. Do you have time to FaceTime for a sec?'_

Cristiano quickly send the message without thoroughly thinking it through.

He just needed to talk to someone about his strange dream, his growing feelings toward Gareth and the general misery that he called his life.

Ping. _'Sure, just give me a second and I'll call you,'_ the incoming message read.

Cristiano hadn't bothered to get out of bed when his alarm went off that morning.

He felt too strained to move, too exhausted from the game and too much of an emotional confused mess to rise from his bed. His hard on wasn't exactly helping either.

When he had jacked himself off quickly, the memory of Gareth haunting his dreams speeding the process along, he cleaned himself up with a cloth and slipped back into bed. It was probably the first time in years that he hadn't bothered to get up at the sound of his alarm.

It was a strange anomaly of sorts. An aberration to his scheduled daily planner.

When the call came in, Cris inhaled deep, unlocked his phone and replied. ''Hey, good morning,''

Grizi's voice was hoarse and muffled, he looked like he had just woken up.

His hair was all tousled and messy and there were dark circles under his eyes. ''Good morning Cris,''

''I hope I didn't wake you,''

The Frenchman shook his head. ''Nah you didn't, Koke _always_ wakes me way too damn early.  
And don't worry, I got him out of the room as you can see,'' he said, pointing his phone around the empty hotel room. ''Jeez, you look like crap,'' he stated when he had taken a clear look at Cristiano's face.

Cris grumbled. ''Gee thanks,''

Grizi shrugged. ''You know me man, always brutally honest. Good game last night though, shame you didn't win,''

''Yes, I second that,''  
''So what's going on?''

Cristiano saw his own bemused reflection in the camera and sighed. ''I don't know man, I'm just so _fucked_ in every way possible, except for the literal meaning of the word,''

''Is that ' _Cristiano_ _speech'_ for saying that you've fallen for your charming Welshman?'' Grizi asked, a small smile curling on his lips.

''Well I'm trying really hard not to, but he's making it me as hard as he possibly could. I even dreamt about him last night,''

Grizi's curiosity was awakened with that last statement. ''Ohhh no you didn't! You had a wet dream about him?''

Cris groaned as he buried his head into his pillow, too ashamed to admit the truth. ''Did I say that it was a wet dream?''

''You didn't _have_ to, just look at your face dude! Oh my god, this is brilliant. Tell me more! I need details! Was it hot?'' Grizi wanted to know.

While he asked it, flashes of Gareth nipping passionately at his throat while he slammed into him deeper than any man had ever been before rose up in his memory.

Fuck, it _had_ been hot, extremely, indescribably _hot_.

Cristiano had felt the heat colliding between their bodies, washing over him like a wave of hot lava.

He had been fucked before and always enjoyed being a bottom but this...this was something else. It felt different and yet twenty times more intense.

Like a force of nature that was unlike anything else he had ever experienced before.

Gareth hadn't just fucked him, he had owned him. Made _love_ to him.

Shit, making love.

That expression had been meaningless bullshit to Cristiano until he had seen the expression in Gareth's eyes when he had slid into him.

The sheer desire and adoration had been reflected in the deep, blue oceans of his eyes.

He had kissed him right on the skin above his heart, as if he was telling him that he loved him, that he would keep him safe.

Gareth had swallowed him whole, body and soul. It had been overwhelming and intoxicating at the same time.

When Cristiano woke up, nothing felt normal anymore.

He had never been more confused or more aroused in his entire life.

He sighed at Grizi and felt a smile appear on his lips. ''Yes Grizi, it _was_ hot. More than hot actually. Made me feel all sorts of shit that I really don't need right now,''

Grizi' eyes went wide. ''Holy shit! You're kidding me?''

''Does it look like I'm laughing?'' Cris retorted dryly.

''No, but _fuck_ man. You're actually in love with him? Jesus that's huge. I don't think I've ever heard you admit to being in love before, other than when you were with Fabio of course.''

Cris rolled his eyes impatiently.

''You just love to jump the gun don't you Grizi? I _never_ said I was in love with him, just that the dream fucked me up. Confused me,''

''Look, do you know when I first realized that I loved Koke?''

Cris shook his head, already dreading what Grizi was going to say. ''When he stumbled into my hotel room and fell asleep against my back. Naked. Koke sleepwalks sometimes and he strolled straight into my bed. Crawled up to me and told me that he loved me. Sure he was sound asleep but I knew that subconsciously, he meant it. And I realized, with him tugged at my side, face pressed against my chest, that I loved him as well. I was freaked about it, sure, but I could no longer deny how I felt toward him. I know there's something going on there between you and Gareth. You haven't been this cheerful in years, not since you started seeing him regularly. He's good for you and I think he likes you too,''

A flicker of hope lit up in Cristiano's chest. ''How could you know that?''

''Through the magic of sight man, I saw the way you two were giggling on the stairs during halftime. You two were laughing like two teenagers in love. He does care about you, I know it. Koke saw it too,''

That statement was a punch to Cristiano's gut. ''You haven't _told_ him anything have you?!'' he hissed.

''No, of course not,'' Cris let out a relieved gasp. ''But he has eyes too Cris, we were just watching the game and he saw you two flirting during halftime, just like the rest of the world saw it. He made his own conclusions but I didn't say confirm them. I gave you my word didn't I?''

Cris nodded, ashamed. ''I know, sorry. I shouldn't have doubted you. I'm just-fucked up. I tried to reconnect with Fabio last night, tried to patch things up a bit, rekindle our long lost friendship but it backfired in my face. It reminded me that dating your teammates is a really bad idea that I'm not sure I should repeat with Gareth,''

Grizi gave him a sharp look. ''But that's totally different and you know it, you and Fabio had been friends for years before you started dating. You and Gareth haven't, so if you do mess it up and you break up, no matter because you didn't have a good bond to begin with. You won't be losing a great friend,''

''I guess that's true, but still. It just seemed like a really bad idea to even think about me and Gareth...well dating or something like that. Until-''

''Until he fucked your brains out in your dreams?'' Grizi grinned.  
''Something like that, yes,'' Cris wanted to tell him that it wasn't just sex in his dream, but he didn't want Grizi laughing at him.

''Look, you slept with uh-multiple of your teammates right?''

Cristiano nodded reluctantly, feeling like that little cock-slut again. ''And you all managed to stay close to them afterward haven't you? Except for Fabio,''

Cris nodded once again.

''So maybe this will be the same. Maybe you can just give it a shot with Gareth and just see wherever it takes you. Just start with casual sex and see where it leads,'' Grizi suggested.

''No, Gareth is _not_  some cheap slut. He is too valuable to me and the team to just use him for a good fuck. I have too much respect for him to use him like some common whore,'' Cristiano blurted the words out without properly thinking them through.

Grizi burst out into laughter at his idiocy. ''Oh holy shit, you really are in over your head. Look, I don't care what you say, you _are_ falling for him, quickly and hard. Take care of your shit Cristiano. Before it swallows you whole,''

Cris felt a stifling heat rising to his cheeks. ''How do I do that?'' he groaned.

''Well you have three more days of Gareth to go haven't you? I suggest you spend them wisely,''

''Christ, I hate you,'' Cris complained, but he smiled nonetheless.

''You're welcome and I love you too,'' Grizi teased. ''Oh I gotta go, Koke's out of the shower. Good luck with everything okay,''  
''Thank you Grizi, for everything. Go kick Bayern's ass for us today,''

''We will,''  
''Later dude,''

''See you,''

When he hung up, he was left even more disheveled than before.

His head was pounding and his muscles ached from the game.

That fucking knee was hurting him again and he wondered if he could get Gareth down there to fix it for him.

After all, they had already agreed to seeing each other today.

But being completely alone with him probably wouldn't be the best idea in the world.

There was a new message on his phone.

From Gareth. Cristiano's heart involuntarily skipped a beat.

_'Good morning, how are you feeling today?'_

His fingers danced over the screen, feeling excited that Gareth had thought about him and wondered how he was doing.

 _'Hey, I'm good thanks. A little sore. How are you?'_  
It took Gareth a while to reply, meanwhile Cristiano's heart was hammering out of his chest.

Ping _. 'I'm sorry to hear that you're sore. Need some help with that? I'm fine btw,'_

Blood was rushing in Cris' ears, his fingers were trembling with undisclosed need.

And it was _so_ tempting to invite Gareth over for a round of his dream.

So bloody alluring. But reality was never as kind as a dream was.

Still, Cristiano was apparently weaker than he had ever been in his life and replied: _'I guess I could use a hand, if you don't mind. Come over whenever you want, I'm taking a day off,_ '

The long, texting silence ate away at Cristiano. Goddamn it, why did it take Gareth so long to send a bloody text back? Fucking hell, he seemed to be taking his good old time.

Ping _. 'Okay, I'll come over in a bit :-)'_

Again with the damned smileys, Cristiano had to do something about those.  
They were plain childish and ridiculous.

 _'See you in a bit,'_ he replied.

Well, he had finally found a reason to arise from his bed.

As he stretched himself anxiously, he slid out of his bed and fed Marosca his breakfast.

When he stood in the shower, face plastered against the hot wall he jerked himself off once again, mostly to relieve the tension that was taking ahold of him at the prospect of seeing Gareth so soon after his steamy dream.

Maybe this wasn't that great of an idea, he thought as he soaped his perfect body with his favorite shower gel.

This shit could hit the fan in numerous ways.

Somehow he knew that this was never going to end well, for either one of them.

And yet he had enticed Gareth into coming over like the sly little fox he was. But he couldn't break his heart.

Not after what had happened with Fabio.

Nor could Cristiano break his own heart ever again.

He still hadn't recovered from his affair with Fabio and neither had their friendship.

It probably never would. He couldn't toy with Gareth. It wasn't right. He had promised Luka that he wouldn't. 

Gareth Bale deserved better after all that shit Cris had put him through for the past three years.

As he slipped out of the shower, he peered into the mirror and picked up his comb and his pot of gel. His curls were as untamable as always and for once, he decided to not contain them with a shitload of gel.

He wouldn't cage them today.

He would just be Cristiano, the curly haired man from Madeira. Imperfect. Slightly neurotic. Perfectionist. Insecure. 

No masks, no concealment.

Besides, Gareth had told him that he liked his curls.

Basically told Cris that he could just be himself around him. So Cristiano would be himself.  
Gareth was safe, he would never screw him over for revealing the real him.

He dressed himself in his favorite Armani pair of jeans, put his red Gucci blouse on and wore his neat black shoes. When he stared at himself in the mirror he laughed. He looked absolutely ludicrous.

His hair was a bloody mess but the rest of him looked like it was going to a classy dinner.

This was way too upscale and fancy for a day where he would stay in, just being himself.

So he took the blouse off, slipped into a simple black Nike vest and t-shirt and took his shoes off. There, much better. He looked like a normal guy, hanging around the house doing nothing special.

He took Marosca for a quick walk, placing the hood of his vest on his head to shield his imperfect hair and hoped that he saw nobody with camera's nearby.

The press basically camped onto his front porch sometimes, much to his annoyance. Today luckily, they weren't there. When he came back inside, he made some breakfast for himself and sipped his coffee.

After an hour of seeing no sight of his teammate, he had some sort of mental breakdown and called Karim.

He had to. He worried he might burst into flames if he didn't talk to someone about it.

''Yo, what's up dude?'' Karim said when he _finally_ answered at the fourth ring.

''Hey, I'm freaking out,'' Cris decided that it was best to be blunt.

''Uh oh, what did you do?''  
''Nothing but Gareth is coming over in a minute and I'm-well all over the place,''

''Why, what happened?'' Karim asked, voice a bit more tentative and soothing.  
''I uh, had a dream about him last night,''

Karim chuckled at that revelation. ''A _sexy_ dream?''

Cris groaned, totally embarrassed. ''Yes, a sexy one. Fucking hell. What do I do Benzo? It's fucking everything up!''

''Okay calm down. Take a deep breath. It's all going to be okay,'' Karim comforted.

Cristiano smiled despite his nerves. The soothing tone in Karim's voice always managed to lighten his mood. 

Karim was his rock, he would always be.

He was like a flight attendant, always ready to comfort him whenever the proverbial plane hit turbulence.

He was the one who would soothe him when the flight got rocky, still smiling assuringly and serving his drinks. Cristiano would be lost if it wasn't for Karim.  
Cristiano inhaled deep and released his breath to steady himself. It worked, as always.

Karim continued. ''Now, tell me what's bothering you, mon frere,''

Cris swallowed tensed but told Karim everything about the dream.

Every detail he remembered, every feeling it had given him. How confused he was due to all of it.

Karim listened, he always did and mumbled soft at some of the words. ''Okay, so what I'm hearing is a lot of repressed shit. You clearly have feelings for him, but I also think that you're still sweet on Fabio.  
You never really got over him. Now your head and heart are all over the place when it comes to Gareth.  
I wish I had an easy solution or a fix for you but I don't. I just want to see you get happy bro, it doesn't matter to me with who you do it. If anyone deserves some happiness it's you,''

Cristiano smiled into his phone. ''Gracias Benzo, I guess I just needed to admit it to someone you know. That there _is_ something between me and Gareth, whether I like it or not. I just have no clue how to behave myself when he get's here, any ideas?''

Karim sighed, clearly brooding. ''Just be yourself. Let him see who you truly are. No cons, no deceptions. Just you. Be honest with him, but keep your head on your shoulders. Don't lose it,''

''Well I didn't gel up my hair today, that's something right?''

''Yes and while for _you_ that is a huge deal, but that's not going to be enough. Just let him in a little bit. Break down that wall. He _won't_ hurt you,'' Karim ensured him.

Cristiano felt tears well up in his eyes as he thought about Fabio. ''Uhu, Fabio promised me the same shit once. That he would never hurt me. But he has. That fucking asshole. He broke my heart Karim, shattered it into millions of pieces. How do I go on from that? How do I let someone else in after he hurt me that much. How can I trust Gareth not to do the same to me?''

''I don't know, but aren't you going a bit too fast now? You aren't even dating yet and you can't be sure that he even likes you. Why would you be thinking about a relationship already? Step one is to figure out if he likes you back.  
If the answer is yes, you can start to think about the rest. You need to stop being such an OCD control freak man. Even when you're not in a relationship, you're controlling about every little detail. Let it go for once in your damn life. Just let it happen, or not happen,'' Karim said, sounding harsher than he meant it.

''I know, I just can't get over the feeling that he does like me back. And I kinda wanna figure out how I should respond to that before it's too late and something has already happened between us. I need to take preparations, just for my peace of mind,''

 _''Cristiano,_ listen to me,'' Karim demanded. Cris listened, mostly because Karim had used his full name, he only did that to get his full attention.

When he was going to give him a lecture. ''You're very _attractive_ to many people, men and women, but that doesn't automatically mean that Gareth will feel the same about you. He might like you, but he might not. You need to be ready for rejection. He might be completely straight.  
I can't tell. Just don't get your hopes up okay? Take it slow. You only have two gears man, first and fifth. You never use the ones in between, it's always all or nothing with you,'' Karim had always loved to use car metaphors and Cris smiled at the familiarity of it despite himself.

Karim had been absolutely right, Cris knew he was.

The French striker was usually right when it concerned Cristiano.

But the truth usually sucked. He wanted to hear that Gareth would like him as well.

Another new level of insecurity was the last thing he needed right now.

But it was his reality. Karim told him the plain truth.

''Okay, I will take it slow. Thanks Benzo, for everything. I gotta go now. I think I hear his shitty car approaching,'' he lied.  
''U-hu, sure you do. Keep me posted dude,''

''I will,''  
''Later bro,''

''Bye Benz,''

When he hung up, there were even more questions lingering in his mind, clouding his judgement.

All of his inner demons were crawling their way up to his chest to torment him.

Cristiano thought back to Dante's Inferno and briefly wondered in which circle of hell he would be after today. Whether he would descend even further down the fiery pit or whether he would rise, climb his way out of it. 

Cristiano was losing his mind, that was all it was.

He was having a mental breakdown, due to never dealing with losing Fabio and his fucked up feelings toward a teammate that he never even looked at twice before Pepe fucked his life up with his stupid bet.

He just needed to get it together and breathe.

But every time he tried, the image of Gareth kissing him, holding him in his arms, appeared in his head again, making his knees weak and his stomach flutter with arousal.

Gareth's Audi finally appeared around eleven and Cris buzzed him in semi eager, semi dreading his presence.

Shit, he was _so_ nervous. His hands were still trembling. His head was all over the place.

It kind of felt like he was a teenager again that was going on his first date. Like he had absolutely no experience with dating whatsoever.

Gareth was also dressed quite casual, wearing jeans and an Adidas sweater.

His hair was up in his usual bun and he was smiling when Cris opened the door. ''Hello, how is it going?'' Gareth quipped cheerful, as he embraced Cris and held him slightly longer than was considered normal. Cristiano counted that it lasted eleven seconds.

Fuck he was such an uptight control freak.

Who counts the amount of time they get hugged? Karim was right, he was controlling even when he tried not to be controlling.

Cris mumbled a muffled ''Great, how are you,'' into his warm neck as he felt a satisfied tumble in his stomach that he was holding Gareth so close again.

He smelled absolutely _delicious_ , a bit like Sami Khedira's favorite Armani fragrance.

It felt like a major deja-vu to think about Sami right now, seeing how he was also an alluring man with long hair and he quickly pushed the image of his old 'lover' out of his mind.

When Gareth released him, finally, unfortunately, he stepped inside and walked to the kitchen.

''Coffee?'' Cris asked and Gareth nodded. ''Sure, I would love some,''

Cris poured them two cups, one latte for Gareth and an espresso for himself. ''Thanks. I _really_ like your hair like that,'' Gareth complimented as he gave him a sly, flirtatious wink.

Cristiano forced the upcoming blush off his cheeks with the last ounce of willpower he had left. ''Thank you. Come on, let's sit down in the living room, I have the best couch in the world,'' Cris smirked.

''That you do, but I would be surprised if you hadn't,'' Gareth said. ''So, did you _sleep_ well?'' he asked when Cristiano was in the middle of a sip.

He nearly choked on his coffee, due to the shock of Gareth's question. The coffee was dripping down his chin, rolling onto his vest, staining it.  
Holy shit, was he blushing?

It felt like he was. His cheeks felt too hot, his stomach too tight.

''Shit, I'm sorry,'' Gareth said as he walked to the kitchen to get Cris a cloth to clean the coffee off his chin.  
Cris snatched it from his hands and frantically dried himself off.

''It's okay,'' he hated the snapping tone in his voice. Why was he suddenly so upset with Gareth? He didn't know anything anymore.

''Why are you so upset Cris? You're scaring me a little bit,'' Gareth asked as he put his empty cup down on the end table and scooted a little closer to Cristiano, who resisted every fibre in his being that told him to move away from Gareth.

That wouldn't go over well.

So he stayed put, allowing the Welshman to invade his personal space while was already on edge from detaining his mixed emotions. He gritted his teeth and inhaled deep when Gareth took his hand.

Fucking hell, he seemed to be determined to make this as hard for him as possible.

Cris clenched his jaw. ''I'm-not-upset,''

Gareth shook his head. ''You clearly _are_ , I just cannot figure out why. Did I do something wrong last night?''

Cristiano flinched, swearing at Gareth's unfortunate choice of words under his breath. ''N-no of course not, you gave me a great assist,''

He decided to swallow the words where he told the younger man that he had done everything right last night in his dream.

That he took care of him, adored him in a way that no one had ever had before. Not even Fabio.

He couldn't admit to it. It wouldn't be fair to either of them.

''Look, I know that it was a strange day for you and me yesterday. I helped you with your knee, things got a bit-well awkward-and then we sort of reconnected during the game. Is this about the Reiki?'' Gareth asked, frowning deep.

''No, not exactly, although that did threw me for a loop. But no, that's not it,''

''Then tell me what's wrong with you? You're all over the place,''

Cristiano inhaled deep. ''I saw Fabio last night. Finally,'' he blurted out. Jesus, why was he even telling Gareth about this?

Fabio had nothing to do with the situation had he?

''Oh okay,'' Gareth mumbled, clearly wondering why seeing Fabio would be news.

''I didn't tell you the whole truth yesterday when you asked me if I ever dated a man. Me and Fabio were together for two years, behind his wife's back. But she knew, despite our futile attempts to keep it a secret. I loved him with all my heart, but he chose Andrea and his family over me.  
I never really got over it, you know. He _broke_ me, in all possible manners,'' Cris felt tears rising to his eyes and swallowed thick.

Gareth's hold on his hand intensified as he wrapped his other arm around Cris' shoulders. ''I'm sorry man, I truly am. I had my suspicions about you two, hell we all did, but I never thought that he'd hurt you like that,''

''Neither did I, but he did. Fucking asshole,'' Cristiano spat out, as a furious, hot tear eluded his eye. Gareth reached up and wiped it gently off his cheek.

The gesture was innocent in nature but felt more intense than Cris could handle at the moment. He was an _emotional_  train wreck.

The dam burst and his tears broke free.

He buried his face in Gareth's neck and cried a thousand years worth of misery. Pain he had always kept hidden inside was being released in agonizing spurts of sadness.

Gareth's arms came around him, protectively and strong and he held him silently as he wailed.

He didn't say anything, what could he say?

He just sat there, cradling Cristiano as tight as he could. Surprisingly, the pain faded from Cristiano's chest.

As if the giant anvil had been lifted so that he could breath again. Gareth was probably absorbing his emotional pain, as he had done with his psychical one yesterday.

''I got you, I got you,'' he kept murmuring, so quiet that Cris could have imagined it. But he knew he wasn't.

His tears were drenching Gareth's sweater but he never flinched, he kept stroking Cris' back until he calmed down. His head was resting on Cristiano's curls and every now and then, he felt Gareth's lip landing on his hair, pecking him softly.

''I have you, you're _not_ alone,'' Gareth whispered as he rose Cristiano's face level to his and kissed his forehead.

Cristiano forced himself to look away and create some distance between them before he did something really stupid.

He sighed and slid a few inches away from Gareth, already missing his arms. ''But I am alone Gareth, I've always been completely alone. Since I lost Fabio, I lost a part of myself. And now I'm lost in the dark. I'm scared of the dark. Scared of who I really am.  
I'm terrified of never being good enough. I will never have a relationship again.  
Nobody can deal with me, therefore I will die alone. Surrounded by whores and fangirls who only want me for my fame and looks. Cristiano Ronaldo, the man who had everything, except for someone who loved him, just for who he was. That's what it will say on my tombstone,''

Gareth exasperated deep and slid closer to him once again, taking his hand into his, squeezing it lightly. ''Look at me,'' he ordered. Cristiano did. ''You _are_ good enough Cris, just the way you are. You will find someone who loves you, who thinks that you are enough. I promise you,''

Cristiano was so overwhelmed that his anger slipped free and he lashed out, slamming his fists against Gareth's chest as a desperate cry escaped his lips.

He lost it. Lost control completely.

It wasn't Gareth that he was truly mad at, it was himself, Fabio, everything that came with being himself. He was so tired of living his life in this manner. He needed to sleep for a year. 

Gareth calmly collected him, stilled the softly pounding hands to his chest and held him tight as Cristiano cried.

He was not just upset this time, but properly screaming in agony, in sheer pain he hadn't felt since he was a little boy and he had been abused by his first teammates.

Gareth laid down on the giant sofa and plastered Cristiano on top of him, so that his face was buried against his chest.

His strong hands were roaming through Cris' curls, slowly and tenderly, only intensifying Cristiano's screwed up emotions.

Gareth was too good for him, too kind.

Cristiano just wanted more, wanted Gareth to kiss him, to tell him that he had feelings for him, that he was going to take care of him.

Cristiano hadn't felt this exposed in years, and once again, had never felt more safe.

Gareth kept holding onto him as securely as he could, stroking his back, his hair, his temple with his warm fingers. They danced over his forehead, making Cristiano's head spin.

Ghosted at his neck, stroking the sensitive skin, massaging him heartedly.

It was all too much and not enough at the same time. Cristiano _needed_ more.

Needed to kiss Gareth, right now. He leaned up, stared at the Welshman, questioning, begging him for permission.  
Gareth let out a huge amount of breath, smiled sadly and leaned in.

He was closing the distance agonizingly slow, clearly hesitating whether this was a good idea.

His lips hovered over Cristiano's, their breaths mingling when Gareth finally lost control and plastered their lips together in a soft, needy kiss that made Cristiano's heart sing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC......_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I couldn't resist making them kiss at the end. I just had to. 
> 
> I hope it wasn't too fast. It felt right. 
> 
> Let me know what you think. <3  
> Thanks to everyone who's still commenting on this and leaving me kudos. I love you guys.


	7. Deliverance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gareth is a man with many emotions. 
> 
> Too many perhaps. He feels too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long, but my WIFI has sucked balls and therefore I could only update today. 
> 
> I hope you guys like Gareth's POV.

_Gareth_.

 

 

 

 

Gareth Bale was feeling awfully lightheaded and slightly retarded.

After he had been foolish enough to plaster his lips to Cristiano's, in a glimpse of complete lack of reason, his world had seemed to stop dead in its tracks.

Seemed to stop turning all of the sudden. Everything he thought he knew didn't seem to make sense to him any longer.

Gareth had sensed that they were going to go in this direction lately, with Cristiano's sudden need for closeness and _'friendship,'_ but this, he had never seen coming.  
It took him completely off guard, knocked all the air out of his lungs.

The lips to his had been so _alluring_ , so delicious that Gareth sincerely regretted the fact that it had only lasted for a few seconds.

Gareth had never been into men, but he had always noticed the Portuguese undeniable beauty and appealing features. Clearly. Just like the rest of the world had.

He wasn't a complete, blithering idiot.

Cristiano was a blatantly _gorgeous_ man and Gareth admired that, but in a clearly straight manner.

He had been dating Emma for three years when she suddenly broke up with him a year ago, due to the fact that she had cheated on him with a good friend of his. She had left Gareth to be with him.

It had broken his heart in various ways, shattered the trust he used to have in people, leading to the point where Luka actually moved in with him for a few weeks because he was concerned that Gareth had become a danger to himself.

Which, in all fairness, he probably had been.

He could barely get out of his bed in the morning, seldom ate unless Luka forced it into him and rarely slept through the night.

His form was suffering on the pitch but he couldn't find it in his heart to explain to his teammates what had happened.

He just wrote his poor form off to the regular stress of the job. Luckily, nobody asked any questions about it. 

After a month, Luka had forced him to see a Spanish therapist, where he went twice a week to talk about the situation.

The man, Martin, had been a bit older than Gareth, in his early thirties, dark haired and olive skinned.

He spoke perfect English and used simple terms that Gareth could fully understand.

No typical upperclass, snotty 'Sherlock Holmes' type English, just easy, down to earth advice.

Gareth wasn't certain whether that was who Martin really was, or if he was projecting Gareth's own needs onto him, to create a bond right away. He was a shrink after all, they were bound to play mind games.

Martin did that with the few paintings that hung on his wall, he moved those around every now and then, to test Gareth's observance skills. He never failed to notice the switches though, which was a good boost to his ego.

Gareth had been quite skeptical about the shrink at first, seeing how he was always one to solve his own shit, but seeing Martin had helped.

The man was nice, sharp and understanding, but he didn't patronize Gareth or only sat there and cried along with him.

He offered him actual advice and helpful tools to get over her.

He treated him like a man, not like some pussy for needing to see a shrink.

Which was exactly why Luka had told him to go to a male psychologist, knowing that Gareth needed a firm hand, not a gentle woman who cuddled him, offering no clear way out of the mess.

Martin had proscribed him some light antidepressants so that he could sleep through the nights and get his spirits up a bit and Gareth took them, sporadically, if he needed a good night's sleep.

After four months of seeing the doc twice a week, Martin declared that he felt that a visit once every two weeks would probably be enough for him.

Gareth had done amazing work and had clawed his way out of a looming depression, back into the light.  
The choice was Gareth's naturally, if he wanted to see him every week that was fine as well.

Gareth had mused about it for a week, discussing it long and openly with Luka.

Luka felt like it would be better if he kept going once a week and Gareth had to second that.

He still didn't completely trust himself to be on his own two feet and honestly, he had become very codependent on Martin. He even started to consider him to be a close friend, despite the knowledge that Martin was only doing his job.

Therapists couldn't get attached to their patients.

It wasn't allowed. Gareth was just an assignment to the Spaniard, a paycheck.

Although it didn't feel as such.

But nonetheless, Gareth kept going once a week, looking forward to speaking with Martin the remaining six days out of the seven.

It felt so good, to talk to someone who actually _listened_ and understood him.

Martin reminded Gareth a bit of Iker, perhaps that was the reason why he kept going back, maybe he just missed his former captain. Madrid hadn't been the same ever since Iker left.

He had been going to Martin for ten months now, but only went once every two weeks these days.

Although, after kissing Cris today, he truly needed to make another appointment for his head was all over the place.

Cristiano's behavior had confused him, had twisted everything he thought he knew about the Portuguese. Not that he deluded himself into thinking that he knew anything about who Cristiano truly was. He kept that pretty close to his chest. 

As he stared down at the sleeping figure of his teammate, who was face down plastered to his chest, he sighed miserably.

After he had kissed Cristiano briefly, the Portuguese had pulled away, gnawed at his lower lip, blushed and pressed his head back onto Gareth's chest, shutting his eyes.

Probably in embarrassment, Gareth thought.

He really shouldn't have taken advantage of Cristiano's vulnerability in the heat of the moment. What in the bloody hell had he been thinking?

Yes, Cristiano had been exceedingly  _flirty_ with him, but he was flirty with everyone and Gareth had no cause to kiss a broken man who was still reeling over his former lover.

Cris hadn't meant to return the kiss, Gareth knew that, he just needed some comfort. Gareth felt as if he had taken advantage of Cristiano and struggled to contain his guilt.

Now, an hour later, Cristiano was still sound asleep on top of him, chest heaving steadily up and down.

Gareth's arm was beginning to ache from holding Cristiano's solid body so close to his, his throat was dry and the air seemed nearly too vast to breathe.

He knew that Cris had been exhausted from crying his eyes out, but he had never thought that he would literally fall asleep in his arms.

That seemed a bit too intimate, somehow.

He knew that Cristiano was into both men and women, everyone knew that, but he however, _wasn't_.

Which was what he desperately tried to convince himself after he had kissed the alluring striker. It had only lasted a fraction of a moment, but in that moment, Gareth had been free.

Had felt his heart betraying his mind, whispering thoughts into his ears that he had never even thought about before.  
Things that were too scary to even consider.

When their lips had met, the image of Emma screwing his friend had finally evaporated from his mind, for the first time in nearly a year.

She was no longer haunting him.

It should have felt unsettling for him, to kiss a _guy_ , but somehow it hadn't. Kissing Cris made him feel strangely at peace.

But he shouldn't have done it, not in that moment, not even after Cris had basically begged him for it with his pleading gazes as he leaned in closer. Gareth should have restrained himself. But he hadn't.

And now they were going to have to talk about this, or at least deal with it.

Whatever 'this' was.

Gareth wondered if Cris was truly asleep or merely faking it to prevent the awkward conversation that laid ahead of them.

But when his arm was proper dead he decided to wake Cristiano, by mapping his hand through his impossible soft curls. ''Cris, wake up,'' he murmured into his ear.  
No response.

Of course not. Cris wasn't known to make anything easy for anyone.

''Cristiano, come on now, my arm is going to fall off,'' he said, a tad louder and he felt the Portuguese stir in his arms.

He groaned a bit and slid his dark chocolate colored eyes open. ''Hmm, I don't wanna wake up, I'm too comfy,'' he protested.

Gareth snorted humorlessly. ''And while I'm glad to hear that, you need to move off me for a bit. My arm is _killing_ me,''

Cristiano sighed deep and rose off Gareth's chest, sitting upward with a sleepy expression on his face that told Gareth that he hadn't been faking it.

Cristiano Ronaldo, the man who couldn't even fall asleep in a comfy hotel bed, had fallen asleep onto his chest. In _his_ arms.

If that wasn't enough to fuck up his mind, he wasn't sure what would.

Cris stretched himself lazily and gained his composure, staring hesitant into Gareth's direction, but eluding his gaze. Gareth rubbed his arm quickly, feeling the needle pins stinging at it, as the blood rushed back into the dead flesh.

''You okay?'' Cris asked, after a short, uncomfortable silence.

''Yes, just uh-'' he swallowed thickly, ''-sore, I guess,''

Cristiano slid a bit closer to him and exasperated deep. ''Look, I uh-''

Gareth closed his hand over his lips and shook his head. ''No, you don't have to say anything.  
It's me that needs to explain some things to you. First of all, I never should have kissed you in the heat of the moment. You were clearly upset over Fabio and I-well I sort of took advantage of that, so I'm very sorry for that.  
It was impulsive and stupid and I'm not even gay, so I don't know why I did it. I'm _sorry_ Cris, truly I am,''

Was he imagining things or was it disappointment he saw on the Portuguese face?

Was Cristiano actually upset that to Gareth, it had seemed like a mistake? He could have sworn that he saw a shard of pain washing over Cristiano's sculptured features.

Cristiano inhaled deep, as if he was steadying himself to speak. ''This wasn't about Fabio Gareth, I promise,''

Gareth narrowed his eyes, confounded now. ''Then what was it about?''

There it was again, that look in Cris' eyes. The one that told him that despite everything, Cristiano actually _cared_ about him.

That he actually valued Gareth, as more than juts a team-member.

''I can't tell you, not yet,'' Cristiano said, regret filling his tone. He gnawed on his full, lower lip, making it impossible for Gareth to not stare at the mesmerizing sight. 

Of course, more secrets.

There seemed to be no end to the strikers hidden desires and private life.

Cris leaned into him, cupped his cheek and forced their eyes to meet. ''But I do want you to know that I _don't_ regret kissing you. It was really nice actually. You haven't taken advantage of me, not in any way. I initiated it didn't I?''

Gareth blushed a bit but nodded despite himself. ''So why should you feel guilty about it? It happened and it was very- _pleasant_ , can't we just leave it at that?'' Cristiano pursued, sounding more erratic and unbalanced than Gareth had ever heard him.

Maybe Cris was right, maybe they should just forget about it.

Apparently he hadn't done anything wrong. Cris didn't seem mad at him.

''Yes okay, we can leave it at that,'' he agreed and Cris extended his hand out to him, so they could shake on it. Gareth accepted it and nearly felt his bones shake when Cristiano's soft, hot fingers trailed over his.

He resisted the urge to shut his eyes and lean in for another kiss and released the hand as quickly as he could.

Fuck, what was it about Cris that drew him in like a moth to a flame all of the sudden?

Perhaps it was just because he had never kissed a man before and he was simply overwhelmed by the sensation.

Yes, that must have been it.

He could still feel the softness of Cristiano's lips to his own, making his head spin.

The fact was that he would have never guessed in a million years that someone like Cristiano would ever kiss a grey mouse like Gareth.

Cris was about a hundred miles out of his league.

He knew that, he wasn't completely delusional.

Gareth wasn't bad looking, but he was a seven perhaps, maybe a seven and a half, whereas Cristiano was a sheer ten. Numbers didn't lie. Tens married tens and sevens married sevens.

He knew about Cristiano's reputation around his teammates and couldn't help but think that he was just another one of his conquests.

Like Sami had been, the kind, attractive German who had always treated him with the upmost respect.

Gareth sometimes still found himself missing Sami and his caring personality. He had always been so warm to him, so considerate. He still sent him messages on his birthday and even mailed him a present.

Gareth had caught them kissing in the dressing room once, a long time ago, when they thought they had been completely alone.

It had taken him by total surprise, simply because he had never thought that Cris would ever sleep with Sami, it seemed like such an unlikely match.

Watching them make out had been-sort of enticing. Exhilarating.

Maybe that was his first clue that he was into Cristiano, right there in the heat of the moment.

But he ignored his gut instinct and let it slide, still feeling a bit jealous at the sight of the two men who were fully entranced by each other.

It was then and there that a rumor he had heard a while ago crept over his spine, filling his insides with ice water. He needed to know whether it was true or not. 

''So is it true?'' Gareth asked before he could hide his sheer curiosity.

Cristiano wrinkled his nose. ''Is what true?''

''Rumor has it that you slept with little Lucas a few weeks ago, so did you?''

Cristiano's eyes went so wide that Gareth feared they might pop out of their sockets.

What in the world had come over him to ask Cris such a question? He had kissed he man one time, and it had meant nothing to the Portuguese and now he was acting like a jealous, claiming boyfriend?

''What?'' Cris gasped, sheer despair gliding over his face.

The question had hurt him, Gareth could tell, but he needed answers.

His sudden possessiveness overshadowed his reason. His need to know that he wasn't just a number to Cristiano overpowered his common sense.

''It's a simple question isn't it? Did you bang Lucas or not?''

''And how is that any of _your_ fucking business?'' Cristiano sneered as he slid further away from him, folded his arms together and raised a furious eyebrow.

Gareth had crossed a line with him and he knew it.

Surprisingly though, he found himself beyond caring and fearless to Cristiano's rage. He needed answers.

When he spoke again, his voice was trembling with held back tension. ''Because it _is_ my business now, answer me! Goddamn it!!'' he demanded, nearly shouting.

He shook Cristiano's shoulders back and forth and dug his fingers into his muscled flesh, definitely leaving marks. Good. He liked that idea.

Cristiano's eyes softened a bit and he smiled briefly, looking incredibly relieved. ''You're jealous, you're _actually_ jealous,'' he gasped, as if he couldn't believe it himself.

Gareth gritted his teeth. ''I am not, you fucking idiot,''

''You totally are,''

''Just answer the fucking question. It's not a hard one is it? Yes or no. Did you fuck Lucas or not?''

Cristiano shook his head.  
''No,'' he said and for a moment Gareth felt utterly relieved, but then he spoke again, a mischievous smirk appearing in his eyes. ''He fucked me,''

The words washed over Gareth like a hurricane. He was absolutely furious. Seething with rage.

He balled his fists so tight that his knuckles went white.

He bit on his lower lip so hard that he tasted the copper of his own blood on his tongue.

''You are _completely_ jealous,'' Cristiano grinned, that fucking arrogant expression on his face again.

As if he was the fucking king of the world and that Gareth was one of his subjects that needed to bow down to him.  
Well not today.

Today the little king could go and fuck himself. Gareth was beyond done enabling him.

He had put up with Cristiano's crap for far too long now. No more.

''You know what? Why don't you go back to Lucas and shag him senseless, or let him shag you into oblivion if that's more your preference!  
I'm out of here! And don't even think of calling me again or sending me texts! Consider our agreement to be civil to be off!'' Gareth bellowed, feeling far beyond reasoning.

He rose to his feet and stormed to the front door.

''Wait! Gareth!''

Cristiano had caught up with him in the blink of an eye, despite the fact that Gareth was the quicker sprinter of the two of them, and held onto his arm, tugging him away from the door, pinning him tightly against the wall.

''What? What is it that you want?'' Gareth sneered.

He was panting heavily now, feeling his rage rumbling around in his system like a thunderstorm. If Cris pushed his buttons any further he would punch him, no doubt about it.

Cristiano stroked his thumb over Gareth's cheek, blushed slightly and mumbled something inaudible that sounded a lot like ''you,''  
''What?'' he gasped.

Cris leaned in, clasped onto his cheeks and kissed his forehead tenderly.

Gareth felt the intensity of the kiss reaching up to his heart, banning all of his anger in a heartbeat.

When Cris' lips pulled back from his skin he smiled. ''You Gareth, I want _you_. Not Lucas, I've never wanted him. You. I'm falling for you. This was never about forgetting all about Fabio, it was about you,''

Gareth couldn't breathe.  
Nothing the star-player had said made sense. Cristiano couldn't be into him. He had never even looked at him twice.

Had never flirted with him until a few days ago.

What had changed all of the sudden? He hadn't become any more attractive over the past few days.

Why was Cris being so kind to him and apparently suddenly sweet on him?

''H-how can I believe that?'' Gareth sighed, staring intently into the brown eyes, trying to get answers.

Cristiano just smiled and kissed him again, on the lips this time.

More intensive and more delicious than the first peck they had shared.

Gareth's knees nearly gave out on him as he felt himself slumping into Cristiano's strong arms.

He held him upright, kissing him tender and yet fierce.

Their lips moved together as if it was a perfectly written symphony.

The blood was rushing to Gareth's brain, fogging his mind, silencing the inner voices that were taunting him, telling him that he would never be good enough for someone like Cristiano.

Because in this moment, he felt like he was on top of the world. He felt safe and loved and coveted. Wanted. _Desired_.

Cristiano's warm tongue was probing over his lower lip, desperately begging for access into Gareth's hot, needy mouth.

He let him in, feeling a new wave of sensation wash over him when their tongues collided into a heated french kiss that took his breath away.

Cristiano's hand slipped through his hair, reached up to his ponytail and tugged it loose, freeing his brown locks.

Cris groaned wantonly as he stroked his fingers through the strains of hair, massaging his scalp slowly.

Gareth's knees were made of jello. His heart had never hammered like this before.

His arms were around Cristiano's waist but he trailed his left hand to Cristiano's soft, shaven cheek and rested it there.

When Cristiano released him, probably to come up for some air, and pulled back, Gareth missed his lips immediately, already craving for more.

He wasn't sure how long they had stood there, kissing as if their lives depended on it, but now that they had stopped it seemed impossible not to start all over again.

Cristiano gained his composure while leaning into Gareth, who instinctively pulled him into his arms again, holding him close while they caught their breaths.

''So do you believe me now?'' Cristiano asked, looking cocky, but in a good way.

''You need to learn when to shut up for once,'' Gareth retorted, smiling like a teenager, before he captured Cristiano's lips with his own again.

They kissed for hours, lying lazily on Cristiano's couch as they explored each other's lips until they were red and thoroughly swollen and then fell asleep on the couch again.

Gareth lying on top of Cristiano this time, safely tugged away into his strong embrace.

Feeling for the first time in months, that maybe, if he was lucky, things would be okay after all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC......_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was that? 
> 
> Let me know. <3


	8. Tears on the ground.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gareth and Cris spend a perfect day and night together. 
> 
>  
> 
> Until someone from Cris' past shows up to ruin it all.
> 
> Karim Benzema stands up for his 'brother from another mother,'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking my good old time with this.  
> I've been otherwise busy with stories. 
> 
> But anyway, here it is. The next chapter.  
> Thanks to everyone who's still reading this. 
> 
> A lot of drama in this chapter, just warning you.

_Day four._

 

 

 

 

 

''Do you have to go already?'' Cristiano complained as he watched Gareth put his shoes back on.

He was still lounging on his couch, too tired to even bother to move.

They had spend nearly the entire night together, watching Atletico beat Bayern once again, much to Cris' amusement. He wasn't really a fan of that team, the only exception being Carlo Ancelotti, who Cris missed every day. 

Gareth had laid on top of him, snuggling close to him, lacing their fingers together as he sporadically leaned in for a kiss.

Usually Cristiano hated watching other teams play football. But Gareth had insisted on seeing it after they had ordered Thai food for dinner.

So Cristiano had eaten unhealthy crap out of a carton box, on his perfect, expensive couch.

Not even worrying about him or Gareth spilling anything. Another anomaly.

And he had actually thoroughly enjoyed his night, Gareth made watching a game fun and interesting.

He constantly talked to the TV as if he was speaking to the players directly, much to Cristiano's amusement.

Cris had spend most of his time watching and studying Gareth, still relishing on the thoughts of their hours of lazy kisses.

He hadn't exactly planned to kiss Gareth, nor to be so _open_ to him about his feelings.

But Gareth had been so deliciously jealous and possessive over him fucking Lucas, which was really all Cristiano needed to hear.

He had blatantly told him that he wanted Gareth, not Lucas.

He had seen the disbelief in the Welshman's eyes when he told him that, so he proved it to him by kissing him senseless.

It had been _unbelievable_. Even better than the kisses they had shared in his dreams.

The lips made Cristiano feels things that he had long forgotten existed.

Things he couldn't even comprehend.

In those hours of kissing, he had completely forgotten about Fabio and his broken heart. That had never happened before.

Gareth chuckled at him as he laced his white-blue Adidas sneakers. ''Yes, I _have_ to go. We have training early in the morning and I need a good night's sleep,''

Cristiano nearly told him that he had a perfectly comfy bed upstairs, or a cozy guest room but he knew that suggesting that wouldn't be a good idea. Besides, he didn't want to wreck whatever they were now by moving way too fast.

Gareth had told him about his previous girlfriend that day, how she had broken his heart, left him nearly depressed.

How he had needed to see a shrink to get him back on his feet. Cristiano had held his hand through that story, stroking his back soothing as Gareth struggled against his tears.

Luka had been right: Gareth had been through enough shit. Cris couldn't use him, not in any way. That would destroy him.

Gareth flopped back down on the couch and kissed Cristiano's cheek, sensing his disappointment. ''Look I don't want to leave either, I've had a great time, truly, but I need to. Before I do something that I'll regret in the morning,''

Cris tugged him back into his arms and held him tight for a moment, burying his head into Gareth's neck. ''I know, I wasn't suggesting that-''

''I know you weren't, it's okay. _Really_. I just need to leave, but thank you for the amazing day. And for listening to me,''

Cristiano stroked his hands through Gareth's loose hair, claiming his lips one more time. Just because he couldn't resist. ''Of course, I'll see you tomorrow then,''

Gareth smiled. ''You will, maybe we can do something afterward,''

''Yes, that would be nice,'' Cris rose to his feet and hauled Gareth up. He was heavier then he looked.

Then again, Cristiano had lost a lot of weight recently, in a poor attempt to relieve some pressure off his sore knee.

Gareth however, had pumped himself up, creating some impressive muscles that Cris was dying to run his tongue over. He looked so _good_ lately, so alluring.  
But he would have to be patient, prove himself to Gareth, show him that he was serious about him.

The Welshman scrambled his hair up and tried to tug it back into his man-bun. ''Here let me,'' Cris offered.

Gareth handed him the band, sank back on the couch and leaned his head backward.

Cristiano slid his fingers through the soft strains of brown hair, massaging Gareth's scalp slowly, sensually.

God he _loved_ doing this, mapping through his hair. He could do it all day if Gareth let him.

When Gareth let out a whiny moan when Cristiano seized his efforts and tied his hair into the bun, he had to clasp onto him and kiss him again.

In that he had no choice.

Doing Gareth's hair had felt like something so _domestic_ , as ridiculous as it seemed. Like something you would only do in a relationship. It felt _nice_.  
Gareth pressed his lips to Cristiano's temple and released him reluctantly. ''Thanks,''

''Yes, sure. You have nice hair,''

''So do you, when it's like this,''

''You really have a crush on those curls don't you?''

Gareth nuzzled his nose through Cris' hair and sighed happily. ''Hmm, you know what? I really do, and not just on those curls though,''

Cris smirked, suppressed a blush, and walked Gareth to the door.

Gareth hugged him one last time, to thank him for the day. When he kissed Cristiano again, time stopped.

Gareth repeated multiple times that he had to leave, but ten seconds later they would be making out like teenagers all over again.

Finally, around twelve, Gareth finally managed to pull himself away from Cristiano long enough to leave. ''I'm really going now, see you soon,'' he told him, pecking his forehead one last time.

''You bet,''  
''Bye Cris,''

''See you Gareth,''

When Cristiano closed the door behind the Welshman he waited for a minute, in the faint hope that Gareth might come back for one last hug. But he didn't.  
Cristiano missed his warmth already.

He laid back down on his couch, not that eager to go to bed yet, for his mind was still reeling with adrenaline and his stomach was fluttering with cliched butterflies.

Just when he wanted to app Grizi, send his congrats about the win, his doorbell rang.

Unrealistic hope gnawed its way back into his mind.

Gareth was back, he hadn't left his driveway and had changed his mind.

When he opened his door however, he saw another face standing in his doorway. He must have climbed over his fence again. ''Fab? What the fuck are you doing here? It's the middle of the night,''

The dark blond Portuguese was clearly upset about something.

Cris knew him long enough to know when Fabio was seething with rage. ''Are you fucking him?'' he choked out.

Cristiano inhaled anxiously. ''Fucking who?''

''Gareth _fucking_ Bale!''

Oh holy shit. How did he even know about him and Gareth? ''Why would you think that?''

Fabio crossed his arms together, readying himself for a war. ''I was coming up here to talk to you, to see if-well it don't matter now. And I saw him driving away. So are you sleeping with him?''

Cristiano snorted as his eyes narrowed dangerously. ''I don't see how that's any of _your_ business. You gave up the right to ask me such questions when you dumped me aside, when you _abandoned_ me. Treated me like some leper,''

Fabio pulled him inside and shoved him against the wall, pinning him down with a surprising amount of force for such a small guy.

His eyes were beaming with anger. It was like looking into the mouth of an erupting volcano.

Cristiano was scared despite himself.

''Don't you dare say that! I did not dump you aside. It's not that simple and you know it. Is this your way of revenge? Sleeping with your archenemy to get back at me or something like that?'' Fabio asked, baring his teeth like a shark before it killed its prey.

Cristiano sighed deep and stroked his fingers through Fabio's thick hair. ''Please don't do this, please,''

''Answer the fucking question then! You _owe_ me an answer,''

Cris felt Fabio's tensed limbs against his own, felt his former lovers hard on rubbing against his leg.

Usually that would have turned him on, to know that Fabio still got aroused by him, but now, it meant nothing. It only made him feel uneasy and slightly sick to his stomach.

With all his mental strength he forced Fabio off of him, creating some much needed space between them.

He took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down. ''I do not owe you anything Fab. Not anymore.  
You broke us! What we had is broken and I don't want to fix it anymore. I'm tired of resenting you. You've made your choice and I have learned to live with that, as painful as it was. I'm moving on, maybe you should too,''

Fabio cocked a sarcastic eyebrow. Cristiano hated that character trait. ''With Gareth?'' Fabio asked, ''You're moving on with Gareth Bale? The guy you used to hate?''

Cris pointed his finger to Fabio's heaving chest, like a teacher lecturing a student. ''I have _never_ hated him. Yes we weren't exactly friends but I didn't hate him. Look, who I spend my time with is my business, not yours.  
We are not friends anymore Fab, you made that very clear to me the other day. So therefore you lose the right to ask me about my personal relationships. You dumped me, not the other way around. You have no fucking right to get all possessive and jealous over me now,''

''And what if I regret my decision to leave you?'' Fabio asked, voice barely audible.

Cristiano's heart sank into his chest as he felt the air thickening around them. 

This was exactly what he had wanted Fabio to say, months ago.

But he hadn't said it. Only now that Cristiano was falling for someone else was Fabio stepping up, suddenly determined to reclaim his territory again.

It was too little, too late.

Besides, he would never leave his wife, not even if he truly did regret his choice to dump Cristiano.

They would simply go back to how things were, fooling around behind her back. Cristiano would be his affair, but never his partner. Not truly. For Fabio, nothing had changed.

Cris cupped Fabio's face, staring deep into his brown eyes. ''That is on you Fab, you will have to learn to live with your regret. I'm _not_ coming back to you.  
Not ever. We can try to be friends, but we won't be anything more.  
I refuse to be your little escort on the side. I deserve someone who is proud to have me as their partner, who doesn't shy me away, who forces us to hide our relationship.  
I want to be with someone who makes me feel good about myself, who respects me and takes care of me,''

''And you think that Gareth can give that to you?''

''I don't know, but I do know that he would treat me with a lot more respect than you ever gave me. But I'm not fucking him, not that it's any of your concern. We like each other and we're growing closer together, but nothing happened yet. But yes I feel good about him. He doesn't make me feel guilty, doesn't hide his feelings away from me like you did. I trust him.  
You however...I don't think that I can trust you ever again. You broke a part of me. I would be fine with trying to be friends again, but I doubt that we can ever truly get along like we used to do before all of this happened,'' Cristiano said, plainly but brutally.

Fabio exhaled deep, trailing his hand over Cristiano's soft cheek. ''I know I fucked up okay, trust me I do. But I want you back in my arms, I've missed you so much and-''

Cristiano had lunged out before he knew it.

He had punched Fabio right in the face, knocking him to the ground.

Holy crap. He had never lost control like that. But Fabio was riling him up with his bullshit lies.

Fabio stared at him in amazement, as if his favorite dog had suddenly bit him. _''You hit me-''_

''Well you were full of shit and I lost control. Now get up and get the fuck out of my house before I throw you out!'' Cristiano screamed, feeling defeated.

He had lost his mind. Someone should bring him to a mental hospital. 

He had never raised a hand to anyone and now he had punched Fabio in the middle of his face.

Fabio, who had held his head when he was sleeping, who had loved him, in his own messed up way, but still.

How had Cristiano sank so low?

A wave of painful regret washed over him when he saw the thick tears rolling over Fabio's cheeks.

All of Cristiano's residual fury ebbed away and his need to tend to him took over.

Fabio's nose was bleeding and Cristiano walked to the kitchen to hand him a tissue.

He stuck his hand out to Fabio and helped him to his feet. Fabio hesitated for a moment, as if he was afraid that Cris would hit him again, but accepted his hand when he was sure his intentions were peaceful.

Cris led Fabio to his couch and sat him down, pressing the tissue gently to his busted up nose. Fabio said nothing but leaned his head back to lean on Cristiano's shoulder.

''I'm sorry,'' Cris said, sincerely as he wrapped his arm around Fabio and pulled him closer.

Fabio sniffed and shook his head. ''No, you were right, about everything. You deserve more than I can give you. But apparently people's brains stop working when they think they'll love someone they love. I'm sorry for showing up here, accusing you of all those things. You deserved more from me,''

Cris stroked his back and forced their eyes to meet. ''Look Fab, a part of me will always love you, in a way. You were my first real boyfriend.  
But I need you to let me go now, as I have to untie myself from your hold over me.  
Being with you was one of the best times of my life, along with one of the worst, in a way. You need me let me get over you, and you have to move on as well. You've chosen your beautiful family, so go be with them and be happy,''

Fabio nodded sadly, cupped Cristiano's cheek, leaned in and kissed him briefly to his lips.

Cris tore himself away from it as quickly as he could, quite startled by the gesture, but Fabio refused to let him go. He straddled himself onto Cristiano's lap and captured his lips again.

Kissing him more deeply this time, more urgent.

Cristiano's lips still felt numb from Gareth's touches and he barely registered Fabio's.

For a split second he tasted the copper of Fabio's blood. 

He wanted to tear himself away but Fabio tasted so familiar and it had been so long, that in a brief moment of weakness, he leaned into it, kissing him back, just for a second.

 _''He's all messed up thanks to you,''_ Luka's words were suddenly echoing through Cris' head and the realization of what he was doing hit him.

He pulled back as quick as possible, shoving Fabio off of his lap as if he'd been burned. Which was kind of what it felt like. As if he'd crossed a line he wasn't meant to cross.

''Get out,'' he panted, feeling furious with himself that he had betrayed Gareth like that.

That he went back there with Fabio, after everything the tiny Portuguese had done to him.

He really was an idiot.  
Now he had fucked everything up again. How would Gareth _ever_ trust him after this?

Fabio took ahold of his hand, trying to calm him. ''Cris please-''

''Get out! **NOW!!!''** Cristiano shouted so loud that he was glad he didn't have neighbors. His voice was thick with held back tears.

Fabio sighed, rose to his feet and left, shutting the door with a bang.

Cristiano walked toward his trophy cabinet and pulled the one for best forward in La Liga out of it.

He let out a heartfelt mixture of a scream and a sob and threw it straight through his expensive glass coffee table, smashing it into a million pieces. He was shivering uncontrollably and curled his arms around his waist to steady himself.

Glass had sprung everywhere, some of it landing dangerously close to his feet. Marosca, who was in the den, started barking, clearly spooked by all the racket.

He ignored him, too caught up in his own misery to deal with him.

He had to get out of here before he smashed his entire house to pieces.

As he eluded the glass, he slipped to his shoe-rack, put some Nike sneakers on, grabbed his carkeys and shut the door with a bang.

When he drove his Ferrari onto the dark road, he stopped and wondered where to go for a second. It was nearly one in the morning.

All of his teammates would be fast asleep by now.

Although, one of them was always keen to be up all night.

Without thinking it through he drove his car there, knowing the route by heart.

As he rang the bell to the front gate it took ages for someone finally replied. When he heard his voice, he knew he made the right call to come here, he already felt a bit calmer.

''Who the hell is it?''

''Karim, it's me, please let me in?'' Cris heard the held back sob in his voice, how wavering and weak he sounded.

''All right,'' Karim buzzed him in and Cris drove the car up the driveway, parking it in Karim's garage alongside his beautiful collection of cars.

Karim had always had good taste when it came to cars.

When he walked to the font door Karim was waiting for him, arms folded together, looking rather sleepy.

Of course this was the first time where Cris actually woke Karim up in the middle of the night.

Usually he was up all night, but clearly not today.

''Sorry for waking you,'' he mumbled apologetic.

Karim shrugged nonchalant and opened his arms to him, inviting him in for a hug.

When Cris fell into the strong arms his held back tears sprung to life, bursting free.

It wasn't a particularly cold night in Madrid, so Karim had no problem with standing in his doorway in his Adidas tracksuit, holding his friend for a while.

''What the fuck happened to you?'' he mumbled tentatively into Cristiano's ear as he slowly nudged him inside.

''I messed up Benzo, I fucking _ruined_ everything,''

''Hey come sit down, let me get you some water,''

Karim walked to the kitchen, filling two glasses of water.

Cris sank into the uncomfortable slick leather of Karim's black couch and cringed.

How he could sit on that thing without slipping off it was beyond his understanding. Cristiano hated that couch from the bottom of his heart.

Karim handed him a longglas of ice-cold water and Cristiano took a few sips, mostly to compose himself.

Karim placed his own glass on a coaster and took Cris' hand. ''What's going on?''

Cristiano spilled everything to Karim.

How he had punched Fabio in the face, how he had stupidly returned his kiss, only for a second but still.

How he had spend the entire day with Gareth, falling harder and harder for the Welshman.

How he feared he had burned down whatever bridge he had built with Gareth by doing all that shit with Fabio.

Karim listened intently, as he always did. Cris knew that he wasn't making any sense, that his order of telling the story wasn't chronological whatsoever but Karim was smart enough to connect the dots. 

When he was done speaking, Karim reached for him, pulling him close to his chest.

''You need to listen to me now,'' he said and Cristiano looked up, gaping at him expectantly, ''it's not that bad okay?  
Fabio kissed you, not the other way around. You stopped it because you didn't want to pursue it because of what you have with Gareth now. He would understand that if you explained that to him. But you don't _have_ to tell him what happened. After all: ignorance is bliss,''

Cris shook his head miserably. ''I'm _not_ going to lie to him. I won't fuck with his mind, I promised Luka I wouldn't do that,''

Karim shrugged. ''It's not lying to withhold something from him dude, lying is denying a truth. If you never bring it up, you won't have to tell him about it. What he doesn't know can't hurt him,''

''Maybe not, but what happens when Fabio decides to share some of the truth with Gareth to ruin what we have? He could tell him, he's on a rampage. I can't lie to Gareth, he needs to know.  
If I want this to work out, we need to stay honest with each other.  
I can't have another relationship that's based on lies. I need something real. Sincere. Tangible. I have to come clean or it will eat me alive,''

''So you're also gonna tell him about the bet? Why you were interested in hanging out with him in the first place?'' Karim asked sharply.

Cris gnawed on his lower lip. He had thought about that for a while now.

How he was ever going to come clean to Gareth about the true reason behind his sudden niceties. ''I guess, I'll _have_ to, eventually,''

''He might be more offended by that than he is about the fact that Fabio kissed you,''

''I know, I've mauled it over a lot of times in my head. Tried to find a way to make it sound better,''

''You should just tell him the truth, Pepe forced a silly bet on you to hang out with him but what that bet created was something real.  
That you genuinely fell for him. Just tell him that. He'll understand that,''

''Do you really think so?''

''Ah who cares what I think?''

''I do, actually,''

Karim shrugged again, grinning for a moment. ''I think that he might struggle with it at first, but it sounds to me like he's crazy about you as well, so if he really likes you he'll get over it. Maybe you should just tell him the truth tomorrow.  
Break Pepe's 'rules' to prove to him that you're serious about him. Make some sort of grand gesture,''

Cristiano scoffed. ''Grand gesture? We spend exactly  _one_ day together Karim, kissing each other senseless like a bunch of lovesick teenagers. Don't you think it's a bit early for grand gestures?''

''Maybe it is, but you've known him for three years now. His opinion obviously means a lot to you now. Are you willing to bet on him sticking around if he learns the truth and doesn't know how you honestly feel about him?''

''I don't know Benz, I don't know anything anymore. I can't lose Gareth though, that I do know. He means the world to me. He makes me feel _alive_.  
I just-I need to sleep. I'm exhausted and emotional,''

''All right, let's get you up the bed then, the guest bedroom is free and you're in no condition to drive home,'' Karim told him, as he led the diminishing star player of Real Madrid up the stairs.

The star who had lost his shine in the blink of an eye.

Cris had lost his mojo.

He couldn't lose Gareth as well. It would literally tear him apart.

As Karim pulled the blanket over his tired friend and patted his shoulder to say goodnight, Cris rose up and hugged him. Tight.

His eyes were red from the tears. ''I love you Benz,''

Karim's heart broke a little at the sight of his distraught friend. He patted his arm gently. ''Love you too brother,''

''Thank you for letting me stay here, and everything else,''  
''Of course,''

He stayed with Cristiano until he had fallen asleep, sitting on top of the blankets, hand on Cris' shoulder.

When he knew he was out, he slipped downstairs and paced around in his living room, unable to find any rest.

He knew that it wasn't up to him to meddle in Cristiano's business, but he felt like he had to do something to help him.

Something to make it all better. He owed Cristiano one.

For always being there for him, for being the one to always believe in him. Karim had always felt insanely protective of Cristiano and he wasn't about to let Pepe and his childish shit ruin his brother.

Leaving Karim to pick up the pieces of Cristiano's broken heart. He had to intervene. It might have been a stupid, impulsive plan, but it was the only one he had right now.   

So he grabbed his keys, stepped into his favorite Mercedes and drove away.

When he reached the house, all was quiet and dark.

He called the number and after trying it three times without a response, he finally got an answer. ''Karim? Are you okay? What is going on?''

''I'm fine, I'm at your gate. Can you let me in please, I need to speak with you. Now. It can't wait,''

A deep sigh filled the silence. ''Fine, come on in,''

Karim parked his car rather sloppily, setting it all sideways but he couldn't care less. He had bigger worries right now. It was going to be a long night.

Good thing that he was a night owl. 

The door opened and a slightly amazed Gareth appeared in his sight. ''Do you have any idea what time it is?''

''I know, I'm sorry. But I need to talk to you about Cris...''

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC................_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh Karim, what have you done now? What have I done now. This wasn't exactly what I had in mind, not with Fabio kissing Cris, or Karim meddling in their business, but there it is. 
> 
> And I'm leaving it on a cliffhanger, what else is new right?


	9. My brother's protector.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karim comes clean to Gareth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this from Gareth's POV, but due to the positive reactions I got about Karim being a doll, I made it about him. Wanted him to be the hero in this story too. 
> 
> Next one will be Gareth's POV again. 
> 
> I hope to make that soon.

_Madrid._

 

 

 

 

Karim Benzema was dancing around on waver thin ice by coming here.

He realized the severity of the situation better than anyone.

Meddling around in Cristiano and Gareth's sort of _relationship_ was definitely not the best idea he'd ever had. But now that he was here, due to his uncontrollable impulses to protect Cris, he no longer had a choice.

He _had_ to tell Gareth what he needed to hear.

Luckily though, he was excellent in balancing multiple plates around, skilled to keep them all whole and spinning because he never overplayed his hand.

During his childhood he had been the designated mediator in his household.

Growing up with his moody sisters who constantly battled over everything with their mother had been a challenge.

But it had taught him a thing or two about the art of negotiating.

He often found one of them crying in their rooms and after he'd comforted them he would go to his mom, to salvage the situation, begging her to see reason.

His mom had always had a hard time denying him anything so she usually obliged and made up with her daughters in the blink of an eye.

Karim had quickly learned how he could keep all of them happy and the household rather peaceful.

But this situation had to be handled tactfully, with a hell of a lot of patience, delicacy and a hint of charm.

Not that Karim had ever mastered the arts of being _charming_.

He wasn't Cristiano, who pulled people toward him like a magnet with his insatiable smile.

He was just Karim, down to earth, chill and hard working.

He knew that Gareth liked him a lot and they had always maintained a good relationship over the last three years, Karim once again forced to juggle between two people as if he was a child suffering from a nasty divorce.

It hadn't been easy to deal with Cris and Gareth's animosity.

He'd known from the start that with Gareth's arrival and Pipita's departure, everything would change for Cris.

The price tag was weighing on his friend, as he had predicted it to do.

Many people didn't take him very seriously but the fact was that Karim saw a lot, much more than people ever gave him credit for.

He'd seen the look in Cristiano's eyes when Gareth first arrived, that disgruntled, envious gaze.

There was no kindness there, and for ages Karim wondered if they would ever even speak to each other besides all the PR necessities.

On Karim's birthday that first year, he had invited the entire team, also sending an invite to Gareth, not wanting to leave him out in the cold.

He could only imagine how hard it must have been for him to come to Madrid, to have that money dragging on your neck like a collar, to have the best player in the world _despising_ you for nothing you personally did to him.

To not be able to understand anyone around you because you don't speak the language yet. Karim understood.

He had been there himself, years ago when he arrived in Madrid and could barely speak one word of Spanish.  
Gareth however, never showed up at his birthday party.

When he saw him on training the next day he asked him why he hadn't come.

Gareth had mumbled something about not wanting to intrude, or piss Cristiano off by coming. Karim had spend the next hour trying to convince Gareth that Cris didn't have a problem with his presence, but that didn't exactly work.

Gareth wasn't an idiot. He had eyes too.

Karim desperately tried to be nice to Gareth, but he had to do it low-key to elude the furious looks Cristiano gave him when he saw them hanging out together.

After the first few months of nearly total radio silence between the anxious new B and the big C, little B, the one caught in the middle of all that shit had decided to do something about it.

He called a BBC meeting at his place, to provide neutral ground, and lectured them for a bit, telling them that they had to try to get along more. Urging them to communicate better.

Cris had sat there on his couch, as far away from Gareth as possible but he had listened.

Gareth had just seemed extremely uncomfortable with the whole thing.  
Surprisingly though, the meeting had helped-some.

Cristiano spoke more to Gareth and their teamwork improved on the pitch, but the Welshman was still on edge around him.

Karim knew that Cris and Gareth would never share the connection that he and Cris had when they played together.

For what they had was rare.

Despite the fact that they did better together, the invisible wall between them still stood strong.

Karim knew that Gareth had suffered a lot these past few years, mostly thanks to his own struggles to adapt to Spanish football, but also from feeling left out and lonely.

If he hadn't had Luka, Karim was certain that he would have done anything in his power to get back to England.

Toni had also been good to Gareth, speaking English rather well and the German was always nice to him.

Karim had caught Gareth crying a lot of times, after a game or a training where he had felt useless and alone.

He used to soothe him calmly, telling him that it would be okay, lying of course because how the hell could he know?

But it was the right thing to say to him at the time.

Gareth used to cling to him like a sad child as he let his sorrows out and afterward pulled himself back up from the ground, wiped his tears away furiously, put on a brave face and acted like nothing ever happened.

Karim admired that about him.

That someone who was inherently sensitive could be so immensely _strong_ and resilient at the same time.  
He had never told anyone about finding him in those disheveled states, not even Iker, who also worried over Gareth. He couldn't betray his trust.

Men didn't show their weakness eagerly and Gareth had enough crap on his plate.

Last thing he needed was everyone thinking he was a pussy as well. So he had kept his secrets to himself.

And now, three years later, here he was.

Knocking on Gareth Bale's door in the middle of the night like some bloody lunatic, begging him to hear him out about Cris.

He wondered if he was being helpful or just a giant, nosy idiot. Probably a bit of both. Him being here could literally make everything ten times worse.

He realized that but still felt the urge to help Gaz understand why this all went down like that.

Karim was pondering how to start this conversation when Gareth invited him in and told him to sit on his sofa. ''Thanks,'' he said with a small smile as he sat on Gareth's white sofa.

''Do you uh-want something? Water, coffee?'' Gareth offered.

''Nah I'm good, come sit with me,'' he said, patting on the cushion next to him.

Gareth hesitated for a split second, clearly still contemplating on telling Karim to go home and mind his own fucking business, but eventually gave in and sat beside him.

''Look Benz, I'm not sure if you should be talking to me about him,''

Karim snorted. ''You're right, I shouldn't talk about _him_ to you. And I don't want to either, but I have no choice, I have to do this for him,''

''Why?'' Gareth asked curiously.

''Because I _love_ him,'' when he saw Gareth's hot, jealous glare he quickly added, ''he's my brother from another mother. I wanna see him be happy. But unfortunately, Cris was born with a self destruct button in the back of his incomprehensible mind.  
He has a tendency to sabotage himself, not even realizing that he does it. He has nearly no self worth or confidence in himself. I know that the rest of the world would laugh in my face when they hear that, but it's true. His childhood fucked him up-badly,''

Gareth nodded, staring sadly in Karim's eyes. ''I know, he told me about the abuse and the bullying,''

Now that was a surprise to Karim. He felt his eyes widen in amazement. ''He did?''

''Yeah he did,''

Karim could only gape at him. ''Wow that's huge, he never talks about that crap,''

''I guess,''

''No Gaz, you don't _understand_. This is a part of Cris that maybe three people in the world know about.  
You, me and his brother Hugo. Yes the public knows he was bullied a bit in Lisbon but they don't know how far those fuckheads went. What they actually did to him. That he told you this...I can't believe it,''

Gareth crossed his arms defensively. ''Why? It is so unbelievable that he would confide in me?''

''Of course not, that's not what I meant. Just that I'm amazed that he told you. It only assures me that I did the right thing by coming here tonight,''

''Yes, why did you come tonight? On this ridiculous hour,''

Karim anxiously scraped his throat, feeling suddenly terrified at the task that lay ahead of him.

Why couldn't he have been someone like Isco? Skipping through life without a care in the world, always surrounded by smiles and sunshine.

Keeping it light with all his teammates.

But no, not him. Karim felt responsible for other people's happiness. Cristiano's particularly.

''Look, I know I shouldn't talk to you about Cristiano-''

Gareth nodded, looking angry. ''You're right, you _shouldn't_. What he and I share is private-ergo: none of your business. No offense,''

''Unfortunately you're wrong about that. It _is_ my business. He made it my business when he drove to my house an hour ago and burst into tears over you. That's the moment when it _became_ my business,''

Gareth's expression turned from anger to concern, his blue eyes softening. ''What? Why was he crying? I didn't do anything to hurt him today, at least not that I can recall,''

Karim placed a hand on top of his and squeezed it tight. ''I know, he was actually really happy about your day with him. I've seldom seen him so _ecstatic_ about anyone.  
He was upset because of what brought you there,''

Gareth was clearly puzzled now, not understanding a word he was saying. ''Huh? What are you talking about? I don't get it,''

''I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense. You know that Cris and Pepe bet each other all the time right?''

''Yes...''

''And that when Pepe wins he usually challenges Cris to step out of the box, do something for the benefit of the team,''  
''Okay,''

''You really not getting where I'm going with this?''  
''Not really no,''

Karim exasperated deep. ''Cris bet Pepe that he would score against Las Palmas. When he lost, seeing how he hasn't scored, Pepe gave him a dare that involved you,''

Gareth paled and Karim could literally see the penny drop in his head. ''He only did all this to settle a bet?!''

Karim clasped onto his shoulders and shook him tight, digging his fingers into the flesh of Gareth's arms. He _needed_ to listen to him.  
''No! He didn't. Look I need you to listen closely to me okay, before you start to freak out over nothing.  
Pepe told Cris that it would be good for the sake of the team if he hung out with you more, if he tried to get on better grounds with you. So he dared him to spend seven days in your presence to form some sort of friendship or a better understanding.  
Cris did that, and something more powerful than friendship formed itself between you two. He truly _cares_ about you now.  
I haven't seen him smile like that since Fabio left him. I wasn't even aware that he still had the ability to be happy. He genuinely fell for you Gaz, that wasn't a trick or part of the bet. You _have_ to believe that,''

Gareth pulled himself out of Karim's death grip and buried his head in his arms, swearing loud.

Karim placed a hand on top of his hair but Gareth flinched away from his touch. ''Don't!'' he hissed, voice dropping dangerously low.

Karim knew he had to pursue and tell Gareth the whole story, he did what Gareth told him and backed off a bit.  
''He was crying tonight because Fabio had showed up, after you left. He said some pretty hurtful shit, acting all jealous around him because he saw you drive off in your car. Said he wanted Cris back in his life, that he _missed_  being with him,''

He felt Gareth tense up beside him, shivering slightly. ''But he told him to fuck off, that he had no interest in being Fabio's plaything again. That he wanted someone who would value him, who treated him right. Someone like you,''

Gareth let out a small gasp. ''He didn't say that,''

''Oh yes he did,'' Karim thought it would be best to keep the part where Fabio kissed Cris to himself. That part of information wasn't his to share.

''Why would he do that?''

''Isn't it obvious?''

''He could have lied to you about all of this,'' Gareth said harshly.

Karim scoffed unimpressed. ''No way man, Cris is a _horrible_ liar, especially to me. I know him inside out and can instantly tell when he's full of shit. He likes you, I mean really likes you.  
I think it happened after you two spend that night in the hotel in Dortmund together. I'm not sure what happened there and I don't need to know, but afterward he was-different.  
Happier. His mood felt lighter somehow. I'm not sure what changed that day, but I do know that it was a defining moment for him when it came to how he looked at you. Afterward he hasn't been able to stop _staring_ at you.  
His eyes light up whenever he sees you walk into a room. This may have started out as a silly bet on behalf of the team, but it led to something else entirely and Cris hadn't planned any of that. You have to believe that, I'm _begging_ you.  
Please don't be mad at him. He wanted to tell you about the dare, but Pepe said he couldn't.  
When he was at my house tonight I tried to convince him that he should tell Pepe to screw off and just tell you and he wanted to, but he feared that you would never look at him again. That you would hate him for it and leave him, like everyone else has always left him in his life.  
He couldn't tell you, so therefore I decided to.  
Because you need to hear the truth, and because I believe that you two can really make it work and I would hate for Pepe to ruin it for you. Look, deep down, you knew that there was an ulterior motive to Cris wanting to spend time with you all of the sudden, I mean you're a smart man,''

Gareth nodded slowly.

''And yes, initially Cris wasn't looking forward to it. He had to be convinced to go through with it, but he felt bad for how he had treated you for the past three years and wanted to make amends. So he started to hang out with you and to his own shock, discovered that you were actually someone he liked to spend time with. Hell, he even played a board game with you didn't he?''

Gareth nodded again, still apprehensive.

''Dude, he absolutely _hates_ board games, always shoots me down when I try to get him to play, but he told me that he had never had that much fun in his life. That you made it fun. As the days went by, you started to grow on him and his feelings developed themselves without his permission.  
I told him that he didn't have to tell you about this bet, that ignorance was bliss. Do you know what he said to me in reply?''

Gareth shook his head, looking utterly miserable and confounded. ''That he wouldn't lie to you. That you meant too much to him to deceive him. That whatever you two have now was too valuable to him to start it with something based on lies,''

Gareth inhaled deep, clenching his jaw. ''But he _did_ lie to me. Obviously I questioned his motives about hanging out with me all of the sudden and he didn't tell me about the bet. Just that it was in the teams best interest and all that. Technically that was a lie, because he did it because he _had_ to.  
I just need some time to process all of this. I want you to leave now,''

''Gaz, come on-''

Gareth raised his hand to silence him. ''Please Benzo, just go. I need to be alone right now,''

''Okay, I'll go,'' Karim knew when it was time to call it a night. But he couldn't leave until he said his peace. Gareth needed to understand it. He had to. Karim could not be responsible for Cris' broken heart.

''Just one more thing,'' Karim said when he grabbed the door handle.

Gareth stared at him with a gaze that told him to piss off and to save it, but Karim couldn't.

''He's been _abandoned_ his whole life. Everyone he ever cared about has either betrayed him or left him behind. He's the loneliest guy on the planet. And yes he may have screwed up by not telling you about his motives immediately. But his feelings for you are _legit_. I know it. Just think about it for a moment before you decide to leave him behind to and if you do, please tell me. So that I can be there to pick up the pieces-again,'' Karim knew he was being a manipulative shit by playing this card.

But Gareth had to understand that Cris' feelings were sincere.

The Welshman looked at him, clearly in awe of how far Karim was willing to go. But he gave him a stiff nod. ''Okay,'' he sighed.

''Thanks, get some rest if you can. I'll text you in the morning,''

''Fine,'' Gareth said, absent minded.

Karim walked toward him and pulled him in for a quick hug, that Gareth didn't return.  
He shut the door behind himself and left.

The drive home was short but unbearable.

Karim knew that he wouldn't get a minute of sleep that night. His mind was hazy with self doubt about what he had just done. Had he made the right call by doing that? Should he have just let them be?

He wouldn't know anything for sure until tomorrow's training.

He was already dreading that. It would certainly be interesting to see how Gareth would behave himself around Cris, if he would even acknowledged him.  
When he finally pulled up his driveway he was exhausted.

He stepped into his house and slid upstairs, quickly brushing his teeth and taking a leak.

When he checked his phone there was a message from Gareth. Now that was a surprise. _'Did you get home ok?'_

He smiled despite himself, it was nice to know that Gareth still cared. _'Fine, thanks. You doing ok?'_

_Ping. 'I guess,'_

_'Good, c ya tomorrow,'_

_'Okay,'_

Karim put the phone back in his pocket and sighed as he went to check on Cristiano.

He knew it was childish but he needed to see if he was all right. He could have woken up when he was gone, feeling all confused as to where Karim had gone.

He opened the door to the bedroom, revealing a still sleeping Cristiano. On his side as usual, one bare arm under his pillow and the other stretched out under the blanket.

Karim stepped inside and shut the door behind himself.

Instinctively he sensed that Cristiano's dreams were haunting him and that he needed to feel like he wasn't alone tonight. So he grabbed a plaid from the closet, sank down on the mattress and covered himself with the warm green wool.

His mom had knit that thing for him and he had always hated the color, but today it came in handy.

They had shared rooms before, and sometimes when Cris was upset about something he would pull Karim down beside him on the bed just to chat about his problems.

Cris liked having people lying besides him on the bed. He hated sleeping alone.

Well, hated being alone- _period_.

Karim carefully tugged his arm under the blanket to move Cris' arm toward his body to create more space for himself. Naturally, that woke the Portuguese from his slumber.

Cris mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like 'Gareth,' and Karim patted his arm gentle. ''No Cris, it's just me,''

''Oh, sorry Benzo. What are you doing here?'' he grumbled, looking confused.

''I know how much you hate sleeping alone, so why not right?''

Cris smiled appreciatively and kissed Karim's cheek. ''Merci mon frere,''  
''Yes of course,''

Cris shook his head, pulling Karim in closer, folding his arms around him. ''No I mean it, thank you. For everything you've done for me over the past few years. I know it's-not easy to deal with me. I know I'm an arrogant, pushy shit that needs to control everything. And I shout at you, on the pitch whenever we're not connecting. I'm sorry about that,''

Karim shook his head in disbelief.

There were so many sides to Cristiano that he resembled a mosaic. So many colors, so many detours. So many distractions. He doubted if even he knew who the real Cristiano was.

If Cristiano even knew that himself.

''I don't care that you shout at me when I'm doing something wrong. That's what older brothers do don't they? I should know. Look, I know who your demons are and why they taunt you.  
But your worst enemy will always be _you_ Cris. But you don't have to worry, you can't scare me away. I'll always be here to help you, to be here for you. To keep you safe when you're scared and alone and too proud to ask for help,'' he lifted Cris' chin, cupping his cheeks tightly. ''I'm always on your side, and as long as I'm around you'll never be truly alone. I promise,''

Cris suppressed a sob. ''I-I know, thank you,'' his voice was shaking. ''Karim?''

''Hmm?'' Karim hummed as he released Cris and folded his arms behind his head.

''Do you think Gareth will hate me when I tell him about the bet?''

Karim felt a lump form in his throat. ''No, I don't think so,''  
''But what if he does?''

''He won't,''

''How can you know that?''

Karim doubted whether Gareth had it in his heart to hate anyone really. ''Because I choose to have _faith_. So should you,''

Cris turned to face him and smirked slyly. ''Can't you tell him for me?''

Karim choked, despite himself.

He felt his cheeks heat up and bile rising to his mouth. He felt sick.

Cris noticed the shift in him and gazed deep into his eyes, locking his own with Karim's. ''What have you done? Did you-no I can't-Karim, what have you done?''

''What I _had_ to do to protect you,'' Karim said flatly, pretending to be brave.

Truth was, he was terrified of Cristiano's anger.

Cris ground his teeth together, creating a loud horrible cringing sound. ''Did you tell him?''

''I d-did, not the part about Fabio kissing you, but yes I told him about the bet, explained everything to him,''

Cris' jaw dropped, his eyes more astounded than angry. ''But-why?''

''To protect you, to make sure that he heard it from another source besides you. To give you more credibility. I knew that telling him would wreck things between you if you told him, for you always screw up conversations like this.  
You overcomplicate shit and would have completely send him the wrong message. You can never say out loud what you actually feel like saying. But I can. So I did for you. It was a stupid bet to begin with and you don't deserve to lose everything you built with him over it.  
Honestly, I think he isn't even that upset with you.  
Sometimes it's better to hear it from someone else, to have a third party shining another light on the situation. At least he _knows_ now. He can decide what to do with it. Cris, if he really has feelings for you like you have them for him, he'll come around. It will work itself out. Are you mad at me?'' he asked, voice nearly borderline terrified.

Cris shrugged his shoulders, moved in to pull Karim into another hug.That was one thing Karim didn't like about him, that Cris was always so touchy with him, as he was with everyone around him. He was used to his own personal space and quite enjoyed it, but Cris never listened to that.

When Cris spoke again his voice was lighter. ''I don't know whether to kick your ass or to thank you right now. Part of me is so grateful and relieved that he knows but another is so afraid that he will hate me because I didn't tell him about it myself. I hope he doesn't think that I sent my errand boy to do my shit for me,''

Karim snorted. ''Excuse me? I'm not your little errand boy dude,''

''I know that, I just hope he can accept how this all went down,''

''Give him some space tomorrow, I think he'll be fine,''

''Karim?''  
''Yes?''

''Two things: if you ever go behind my back again, I'll kick your ass for it. And another thing: _thank_ _you_ for doing it,'' Cris grinned.

''You're welcome, and I won't ever do it again,''  
''Get some sleep now you lunatic,''

''You too control freak,''

Karim turned his back to Cris, rolling onto his side. A moment later, he felt an arm come around his waist. Just loosely but it was still there. Indicating that he had been forgiven and that deep down, Cris was glad that Karim had done this for him.

''You silly child,'' Cris murmured into his ear before sleep overtook him. Karim slept too, eventually. His mind was constantly drifting off to Gareth, wondering how he was doing.

If he would ever be able to put this past them.

They had to be okay. Karim needed to have faith in that.

As sleep captured him-finally-the arm around him pulled him closer.

Karim felt safe. He had done his job. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC........._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope this was okay. That I got their emotions right. 
> 
> Let me know what you guys think. <3


	10. Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The consequences of what happened after Karim left Gareth's house last night. 
> 
> Training had been awkward. To say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a while to update guys. 
> 
> I hope I caught Gareth's emotions right in this one. Let me know.

_Valdebas_.

 

 

 

 

''So are you really going to make me _ask_ what's wrong with you or will you just tell me already?''

Gareth looked up at the irritated sound of Luka's voice.

The blond Croatian was standing in front of him in the dressing room, arms folded together and a grim expression on his serious face.

They had just finished the most awkward training session of his life, and that was saying a lot.

He had thought that his first training at Madrid had been weird, with Cris nearly breaking his ankle, but he actually preferred that to what he had just lived through.

After Karim's nocturnal visit last night, Gareth had been up for the rest of the night.

He had called Martin, leaving his office a message, begging him to call him, first thing in the morning. Martin had rang him back at exactly two minutes after eight and Gareth had quickly told him everything that had happened.

He needed some _perspective_ , some help on how to deal with his mixed emotions.

Speaking to Martin had helped him, his therapist had managed to straighten out his thoughts and told him that he should rely on his instincts when it came to his feelings toward Cristiano. 

That he couldn't say whether Cris had real feelings for him or not, that Gareth had to discover that for himself. He did warn him, to not run away too quickly, knowing that Gareth was quite the avoider. He rather avoided a problem then face it head on. 

According to Martin, he should speak about it with Cris when he was ready for it.

But after _that_  particular training Gareth wasn't certain if he should be around Cristiano right now.

Cris had pretty much avoided him the entire time, consistently refused to pass him the ball or to even look at him.

To make matters worse, Fabio had tackled him, _hard_. Totally out of the blue.

The ball wasn't even around when he had done it. It had hurt him, but what was worse was the fact that Cris didn't even come up to see whether he was okay or not.

He persisted in his juvenile ignoring tactics.

Toni had been the one who helped him up after Fabio's horror tackle, always the kindest guy of the group and for that he was grateful.

But when he saw Fabio's furious, dark eyes landing on him, nearly devouring him whole, he couldn't help but feel his heart sink into his stomach.

When Fabio walked over to Cris a moment later to pull him into a hug and Gareth saw Cris' endearing smile, it hurt Gareth so much that he wanted to jump into a black hole and never resurface.

Apparently, Cris had done all of this because of the bet.

He clearly didn't care about Gareth whatsoever and would happily march back to Fabio now that the truth was out.

As much as Gareth tried to repress such negative thoughts, he couldn't. He started to believe the voices in his head that told him that Cris would never settle for him. 

Karim had eyed him carefully during the entire training, making sure that Gareth was all right.

But Gareth couldn't stand it to be around Karim at the moment, the sheer betrayal he felt over the fact that he had only been a fucking bet to Cris turned his stomach.

That _Karim_ had told him about it instead of Cris himself didn't exactly help either.

Cris should have just told him about it from the start, before he decided to lead Gareth on like that. Make him look like a fool.

The only one who Gareth had avoided even more than Cris, Karim or Fabio was Pepe.

He couldn't look at the Portuguese defender without feeling fury rising up in his system.

How _dared_ he fuck with his teammates in such a way? Didn't he care about his happiness? Apparently not.

''Gaz?'' Luka said, interrupting his reeling mind.

Gareth blinked and looked up at him, realizing that he had been trapped inside of his hopeless mind for a while now, not replying to his previous comments.

''Hm?''

''I said: are you going to tell me what is going on with you or not?''

''Maybe later, right now I just wanna go home,''

Luka's amber colored eyes narrowed. ''Are you seriously not telling me what happened between you and Cris yesterday?''

When Gareth's eyes widened in shock, Luka grinned. ''Come on, it was rather _obvious_ that something went down when you were at his place yesterday. I'm not a complete idiot in case you hadn't noticed.  
You don't become a good midfielder without having a sharp set of eyes to observe everything that happens around you. It's part of my job to monitor every little detail on the pitch. I see more than you know and I can tell that something is bugging you, so out with it,''

''I can't tell you, not here anyway,'' Gareth retorted, as he nervously eyed the door.

Most of their teammates had left but he knew that Sergio, Cris and Karim were still outside, putting in extra training hours to get back in shape.

''Fine, let's go to my place then,''

''No, it get's too loud with your babies there. They distract me too much. Let's drive to my house,''

''You didn't just offend my lovely  _children_ did you?'' Luka was only teasing, Gareth could tell by the sly smirk that danced on his lips.

''I would never. I love those two with all my heart. But I need peace of mind and little kids running around will only be a distraction,''

''You shouldn't make yourself such an easy target man, learn how to recognize a joke,''

Luka's phone buzzed and he fished it out of his pocket.

He blushed when he read the message, awakening Gareth's curiosity to who it was that texted him. ''It's Marce, he's asking for a ride home,''

Gareth frowned. ''Where the hell is he that he's texting you instead of just coming in here to ask you to drive him home?''

''He's probably still down on the pitch, let me just reply for a second,''

''How _lazy_ is he that he doesn't just walk back in here? Are you going to drive him home?'' Gareth chuckled. The first laugh he experienced today. 

Luka shrugged. ''Sure, why not. His place is close to mine anyway,''

Gareth couldn't help but feel as if he wasn't the only one hiding something.

Luka had acted rather strangely when it came to Marcelo for weeks now.

He should really ask him about it, as soon as he had figured out his own shit.

A few moments later Marcelo burst into the dressing room, smiling wide as always.

The dark circles under his eyes told Gareth that little Liam had been keeping him up all night again, but despite that, his cheerful demeanor never subsided.

Marcelo was always happy, Gareth who had been coping with depressions for a long time, envied that about him.

''You okay Bareth? Fabio got you pretty good there,'' Marcelo asked sharply as he prepared his gym bag, stuffing his dirty clothes into them without a shard of organization, as usual.

Gareth had to smile at Marcelo's genuinely concerned tone. ''I'm fine Marce, thanks,''

''I don't know what got into him to do that. Fabio is such a _sweetheart_ , he would never hurt someone on purpose. Why would he do such a thing?''

''I have no idea,'' Gareth lied, as he avoided Luka's preening looks that would probably give him away.

''Hmm weird, anyway, are you ready to go Lukita?''

''Yes, Gaz I'll see you back at your place okay?''  
''Yeah all right, see you later Marce,''

''Later dude,''

Marcelo and Luka left him alone in the dressing room and Gareth sighed deep, feeling utterly strained and emotional.  
He just wanted to go home, crawl up into a ball on his couch and sleep for a year.

The sound of the door opening tore him out of his reflections.

He had half expected Cris to wander in, but to his surprise it was Sergio who had stepped inside, looking sweaty but gorgeous as ever.

''Hola, que tal?'' the Spaniard smirked, always testing Gareth's rubbish excuse for the Spanish language.

''Si muy bien,'' he retorted, but Sergio frowned deep. _''Lying,''_ he said in English, sounding accusing.

''Just mind your own business please,''

He knew Sergio's English wasn't the best but the message had clearly delivered itself for the Sevillan looked rather pissed.

''You _are_ my business Bareth, I is the captain. You is _importante_ to me,'' he said and Gareth smiled at his broken English, half Spanish mess of a sentence.

''I know, thank you. But this is _my_ shit, not yours,''

Sergio fished a Gatorade out of his gym bag and took a few sips. ''Cris is worried for you,'' he said after a short silence.

Gareth was grateful he was seated otherwise his words would have made his knees weak. ''What?''

''Cris, he was uh-how you say- _staring_ at you. Worried. I can tell. He uh-like you,'' Sergio drew a heart in the air with his fingers, ''like that,''

Gareth couldn't help it, he blushed like a high school girl. ''No, he does not,''

Sergio shot him an unbelieving gaze, clearly wondering if he was having trouble with the language again. ''Yes he does, I _seen_ it,'' he persisted.

Gareth felt his heart rate picking up speed, pounding loudly in his ears. How could he believe Sergio?

Had Cris just told him about what had happened between them?

Apparently he was telling people about that now, besides he and Sergio had always been close.

He turned to Sergio and before he could stop himself he said, ''Like you liked Iker?''

At the sound of Iker's name Sergio cringed, his eyes fluttering closed as if he was praying for patience. Gareth knew he was out of line, these days Sergio didn't want to be reminded of Iker.

It hurt him too much.

Usually when anyone brought him up, he left the room or miraculously disappeared behind a door.

Sergio gave him a furious glance, put his coat on, grabbed his bag and left without saying another word, smacking the door shut behind him with a deafening bang.

Just great. Another teammate he had pissed off because he was feeling like crap.

The door opened again and Karim wandered in with Cris following close behind him. When they saw Gareth sitting on the bench, they froze simultaneously.

They had clearly thought he had long gone home.

Cris opened his mouth to say something but reconsidered and pursed his lips together. Karim chewed on his lower lip nervously and looked anywhere but at Gareth.

It was so _awkward_. How had it all become so fucked up?

''I'll uh-see you guys in the morning,'' Gareth said after a long, intense silence.

He took his bag from the bench, put his jacket over his shoulder and walked to the door, resisting the urge to literally sprint out of there, knowing that it would be childish to do so.

Cris put his hand on the door handle, blocking his escape. ''Wait, _please_ ,'' he begged.

His voice was thinner and more insecure than Gareth had ever heard before.  
''I can't be around you two right now okay, please give me some space. I need to think about all of this,'' Gareth pleaded.

Cris locked his eyes with his and Gareth was surprised by the sincerity that resided in his chocolate brown gems. ''I'll let you go, but not until I've told you this: Karim was right Gaz. It was all _real_ for me. It still is. I fell in _love_ with you, the real you. You _have_ to believe me,''

Gareth let the words wash over him like a wave onto the beach.

Cris sounded so utterly sincere and his eyes were genuine for as far as he could tell.

When Cris folded his warm fingers around his wrist, his heart nearly stopped dead in its tracks.

It made him feel so many desires, so many things that clouded his judgmental mind and screamed at him to just get over it, pull Cris into a hug and kiss him until all he could do was pant Gareth's name.

''I want to believe you, I do,'' he finally choked out. God why was he sounded so-disheveled. 

''But you don't,'' Cris concluded, looking disappointed.

''How could I?''

''You just have to trust me on this. Trust on the feelings you had yesterday when you were in my arms. I wasn't faking anything Gareth. I would never have told you about my childhood demons and atrocities if I didn't honestly had feelings for you.  
I felt like you had a right to know about them, seeing how I want to be with you. Want you to be mine. I couldn't tell you about the bet yet, because I was too afraid of losing you forever.  
I couldn't live with losing another person in my life. I lost too many of them already, as Karim told you.  
This was not a game to me. Never. Please believe me, I'm _begging_ you,''

Gareth heard the frailty in Cris' voice and saw the tears shimmering in his eyes.

He couldn't help himself, he stretched his hand out and gently cradled it around Cris' clean shaven cheek. ''I want to believe you, I really do. You sound sincere enough and what we went through yesterday-well it was intense.  
But I need some time, to wrap my head around all of this. To get myself under control.  
Right now I'm just a confused mess and I'm not sure what I want anymore,'' he saw Cris' faltering expression and kissed his cheek, ''look I'm not saying no to you and me together, all right? I'll think about it, but if we're ever going to make it as a couple, I need to know the _whole_ truth, about everything. That includes Fabio, what he did to me in training today-''

Cris pulled him in closer, wrapping his arms around Gareth tightly, protectively. His warm minty breath landed on Gareth's lips, making him shiver. ''That should have _never_ happened to you. I'm so sorry he did that. He will pay for it, I assure you. He's just being a jealous shithead,''

''I know, but I need to know that there is nothing going on between you two anymore. I need some assurances that you don't go running back into his arms no matter what happens with you and me. He's not good for you and you deserve so much better,''

''Benzo, can you give us a moment?'' Cris said suddenly.

Gareth had nearly forgotten that Karim was standing behind them. 

''Yes of course,'' Karim left the room and Cris tugged Gareth down on the bench beside him, lacing their fingers together.

''I have to tell you something about Fabio,'' the Portuguese superstar swallowed nervously.  
Gareth felt his body tensing up. ''Okay,''

''You can't be mad at me when I do, please _promise_ me to not get mad,''

Gareth felt a lump form in his throat.

This could not be good. ''Fine, I promise,'' he conceded, half curious, half terrified of what Cris was about to say.

''Well you know he came over last night, as Karim told you. What he left out was that Fabio kissed me. Just for a second,'' Gareth felt the ground falter under his feet. Nausea rose in his abdomen.

He resisted the urge to smack Cris' hand away from his. He knew that his promise to not get mad was one he would never be able to keep.

Cris took a deep breath and continued talking. ''And for a tiny fraction of a moment, I returned the kiss, but I broke it off a second later when realization hit me. I thought about you and I couldn't bear the thought of wrecking everything we had, so I forced him off of me and kicked him out of my house.  
I feel so _horrible_ about it Gaz, I really do. I never meant to hurt you and like you said, if you have a chance of making this work we need total honesty, so this is the whole truth. I'm not proud of myself but it meant nothing, I promise. I felt guilty the moment his lips touched mine and I knew that I couldn't go back to him but-''

Gareth ripped his hand out of Cris' hold and rose to his feet, towering over Cristiano. ''Don't-ever-speak-to-me-again! Whatever we had, it's _over_ now.  
You ruined me.  
I should have known that you couldn't be trusted, considering your history. But I would have thought after last night-god I'm such an idiot for thinking that I would mean something different to you.  
How could I be such an imbecile for falling for someone like you?  
You know what? Thank you, for making it this much easier for me to walk away before I get hurt. Why don't you go back to Sergio for a good fuck, I'm sure he's down for giving you a good time.  
But I _never_ want to speak to you aside from work ever again! You _disgust_ me!'' Gareth screamed.

He saw the disheveled tears streaming down Cris' porcelain cheeks, the incredible heartbreaking look in his eyes, but he refused to fall for them.

He still liked to believe he had a shard of pride left.

A bit of decency. He had promised himself to never let anyone treat him poorly again after what had happened with Emma.

He deserved more than someone who already cheated on him before the relationship had properly started.

He wouldn't settle for shit like this ever again.

And he honestly believed those rational thoughts, but why was his heart shattering when he gazed at Cristiano, seeing the striker so destroyed. Why would it get to him so badly?

He was doing the right thing, choosing his self worth over a man who had hurt him immensely, whether he meant to or not.

Cris had pulled his knees up to his face and buried himself in them, crying like he had last night when he told Gareth about his abusive childhood.

But this was more intense, his tears were landing on his shirt like bullets.

He was wailing now, sounding completely wrecked and distraught.  
Gareth had never seen him lose control like that.

 _Never_. It was unsettling as well as heartbreaking.

''I'm so sorry Gaz,'' he kept on repeating until it drove Gareth mad.

He wanted to leave, and really should to, but his legs seemed to be stuck to the ground.

Somehow he couldn't find the strength to actually go.

Couldn't leave Cris to drown in his own misery.

Despite everything he had done to hurt him, he still cared about the Portuguese and was still hurting whenever Cris was hurting.

Cris looked up from his knees, snot drooping down his nose and bloodshed eyes and stuck his hand out to Gareth. ''Please don't leave me-please. I'll do _anything_ you want. If only you stay with me. I can't lose you-please...I'm so in love with you. Please don't send me away,''

Gareth head was spinning. He felt feverish.  
Cris had repeated twice now that he was in _love_ with him. It was too much.

And Gareth was inclined to believe him, considering the sincereness he had heard in his voice when he told him.

And he actually wanted to believe him, which was probably the saddest thing of it all.

Seeing how he was still nailed to the floor by an invisible thread, he decided to crouch down to Cris' level to take his quivering and into his own.

The hand was stone cold and shaking, where it was usually warm and full of life.

The pleading look in Cris' eyes finally got to him and he opened his arms, inviting his almost lover in.

Cris didn't hesitate for a moment and flung himself into the welcoming embrace, burying his face deep into Gareth's neck, crying hot and heavy tears that stained Gareth's shirt.

It didn't matter now.  
Nothing seemed to matter now that Cris was back into his arms.

All of his rationality and clear arguments went out the window the moment he felt Cris' body pressed against his.

God he had _missed_ him.

His delicious scent, his supple, soft skin and his alluring, ever roaming fingers.

He had missed everything about Cristiano, even his bloody neuroses and ridiculous OCD.

In his heart he couldn't stay mad at him for what he had done with Fabio. Somehow he had already forgiven him for it.

Yes, Cris had made a huge mistake, but technically they weren't officially together last night, so it wasn't actually cheating.

Besides, a small peck between ex-lovers wasn't unheard of.

Fabio's bruised face told Gareth that Cris had actually thrown him out of his house as he had promised he had done.

Yes, Cris had screwed up, and had badly hurt Gareth's feelings.

But he realized that it only hurt him because he cared about Cristiano so much that it literally destroyed him to even think of the idea of him and another man.

Cris was his now and Gareth wasn't about to share him with anyone.  
Or to let anyone come between them.

Gareth pulled back and gazed Cris deep into his brown eyes, locking them together. An uncontrollable feeling of sheer possessiveness came over him. ''You're _mine_ , get it? And I don't intent to share you with anyone. If you ever do something like that again, we're over for good. Do you understand me?''

Cris' eyes widened and his jaw faltered slightly. ''Are you saying-you want to be with me?''

''Well despite my better judgement and knowing that I should really stay mad at you for another few months, it all seems rather pointless seeing how I can't be mad at you. I'm far too in love with you to be angry at something like this.  
But the idea of you and him together makes my blood boil, so don't ever do that again.  
What I feel whenever you touch me is something I have never experienced before and I feel like it would be a waste to let it ruin us.  
I've been burned a lot, and I will have to ask you to take it slow with me, seeing how I still need to recover from the idea of the bet and you and Fabio together, but I'm just saying that I want to give it a shot.  
I cannot bear the idea of losing you. Yesterday was the best day of my life.  
I've never felt so happy to be around anyone before. I'm not willing to let that go so easily. I want to fight for us. My original response to something like this is always the same: get incredibly angry, leave and never look back. I'm a runner, who rather avoids his true feelings.  
Bury them deep down in a dark corner of my soul where nobody will bother to look.  
But seeing you like that, it broke me. Maybe it's time for me to grow up, to stop running from what's in my heart. I knew you were genuinely sorry for yesterday and that your own anxiety took ahold of you, which was why you couldn't tell me. I get it now. I _won't_ leave you. I have a feeling that I couldn't even if I wanted to,'' Gareth assured him firmly.

Cristiano burst out into more tears, but happier ones this time and he smiled intensely as he pulled Gareth so close to his chest that he felt his bones crack. ''Thank you, thank you, oh god I was so scared, I can't even-''

''Shhh, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me, whether you like it or not,''

''Oh but I do like it,''

''I know you do and shockingly, so do I. Come on, let's take you home,'' Gareth said as he kissed Cris' temple.

''Will you drive me home? My driver brought me this morning,''

''Of course,''  
Gareth leaned in and kissed Cris' lips.

Cris sighed into his touch, moaning soft as his fingers roamed over Gareth's shoulders, making his knees weak. ''I'm sorry, for ignoring you in training today, Karim thought that it would be best to give you some space,'' he whispered but Gareth shook his head.

''It doesn't matter now, all that matter is us,'' 

He crossed the distance again and kissed Cris' deep.

What had started as a small peck, lead to a long, heated kiss filled with held back emotions that Gareth hadn't felt in a long time.

It was hopeful, as if everything would change for the better now.

When they released each other and left the dressing room, holding hands, Karim was waiting for them in the parking lot, leaning onto his car, playing a game on his phone.

Kind, considerate Karim, who had refused to leave until he knew that they would be okay.

Both of them hugged him tight, assuring him that they were good.

Afterward Gareth drove Cris home, holding his hand through the entire drive.

The hand was warm again, all the life and hope had returned to Cris' system.

Gareth gazed at him and smiled.  
His smile was returned immediately.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC......_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And? What did you think? I hope the end made you guys happy and hopeful for the future. 
> 
> At least the secrets are out of the way now.  
> They are moving forward. Hope it was believable. 
> 
> Thank you guys for the support. Love you all <3


	11. Goodbye my almost lover.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas makes Cris an offer that he has no choice but to refuse, which leads to a lot of self-doubt and questions. 
> 
> Afterward he calls the support troops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update this guys. 
> 
> I think there will be one more chapter after this one. With this, I just wanted to show that Cris was capable of having real relationships with people around him. But that he is still weary of them. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it.

_Valdebas_.

 

 

 

 

They had just finished their last training before everyone would leave for international duty when Lucas Vazquez walked over to Cristiano, looking awful seductive.

''Hey Cris, do you want to come over later. I learned a new trick,'' he said, shamelessly winking at him in the process.

Lucas had stones, Cris had to give him that. He saw something he wanted and just went for it. Not everybody could do that, Cristiano was one of those people.

He admired the Spaniard's confidence and was briefly reminded of a similar tactic Sergio had used to lure him into his bed.

He stared at Lucas and swallowed. Oh _fuck_ , this was going to be awkward.

From the corner of his eye he saw Gareth approaching toward them and knew he had to act quick to avoid the situation from getting even more confusing.

He had only just got back on Gareth's good side, barely one day ago, so there was no chance in hell that he was going to ruin it by even making it seem like he was even remotely interested in spending time with Lucas.

''Uh I can't Lucas. I have plans,'' Which was true, seeing how he and Gareth had a date later that day.

They would leave for Wales and Portugal tomorrow, so Cris had invited him to his place for dinner.

''Of course you do,'' Lucas snorted, clearly unbelieving of his excuse, ''I can't believe I even thought that I would be different from all your other _man-whore_ trophies.  
God I'm such an idiot!''

Cris clasped onto his arm, steadying him firmly. ''Hey stop that, you're _not_ an idiot. You're anything but. And I never saw you as a man-whore trophy, please trust me on that. Unfortunately, I'm seeing someone right now. So I can't come over to your place anymore. I'm sorry,''

Gareth had passed them without even slowing down in his steps, but Cris knew that the Welshman's blue eyes had been fixated on him and Lucas.

If Gareth had listened closely to their Spanish, he might even understood what they were talking about. _Maybe_.

Though, if he had, he didn't let it show.

Cris didn't know whether he was grateful for that or disappointed.

He focused his attention back to the young man in front of him.

Somehow, Lucas always looked about five years younger than he actually was. He was twenty-seven but he looked not a year older than Varane or Marco Asensio.

Lucas was still gaping at him, disbelieving of the fact that Cristiano Ronaldo, slut of the year was actually seeing someone. ''You're lying,'' he finally choked out.

Cris shook his head. ''I'm not, I am _really_ seeing someone,''

''I don't believe you. You don't do relationships. You're a _slut_. You let people fuck you without any emotions and then you throw them out with the trash. Everybody knows that. This is just complete, fucking bullshit that you made up because you don't have the cojones to ditch me,''

The words hit Cristiano in the face like an anvil.

He knew that everybody pretty much thought of him like that, but to actually hear them say it in such a manner really hurt.

More than he had ever thought it would. His past was creeping up on him again, to bite him in the ass once more.

Cris scraped his throat, in a poor attempt to steady his voice. ''I'm _not_ lying Lucas. You're right that I've slept around, but I don't do that anymore,''

Lucas snorted sarcastically. ''Since when? You were in _my_ bed only a few weeks ago,''

''Since I met _him_. I'm happy now. I'm in love with him. So I'm sorry that I can't give you what you want anymore but I refuse to cheat on someone that I really, really like,''

Lucas raised an eyebrow, but smiled briefly. ''It's a him?''

Cris sighed. ''Does that really surprise you?''

''Not really I guess,'' Lucas shrugged, ''so is it anyone I know?''

''See you later Lucas'' Cris said evasively, stepping away from the other man and turning to the dressing room.

''Ohhh my god it is! Okay now I'm intrigued. Come on, just point me in the right direction, I won't tell anyone,'' Lucas preened, eyes hopeful.

''Sorry dude, not telling you anything,''

Lucas huffed offended. ''So much for friendship,''

''Well maybe you should have thought twice before you insulted me, calling me a slut and yourself a man-whore. Perhaps if you hadn't I would have told you,''

Lucas grinned, giving Cris a little shove. _''Touche,''_

Cris wrapped his arm around the youngster and pulled him a bit closer to his side. ''Look, I'm sorry that I can't give you what you want right now. But I don't want to lose you as my friend all right? Can we please just stay civil to each other? I like you a lot kid, you're feisty and extremely talented. I don't want you to resent me for anything,''

Lucas nodded with a sly smirk. ''Jeez man relax. Like I have it in me to hold grudges toward anyone?  
This is me you're talking about. Chill out Cris. We're _good_ , I promise. I was just a bit let down that you rejected me. I'll get over it, I assure you,''

Those words relieved Cristiano more than they should have. ''Great, I'm glad to hear you say that. Because I do care about you,''

''Naww don't go all limp dick on me now _Machina_ , it makes me itchy,'' Lucas teased.

''You're hopeless,'' Cris exasperated but he smiled nonetheless.

In the dressing room things were relatively normal.

Gareth looked at him from time to time, but Cris did everything in his power to elude his gaze.

He knew that Lucas would be watching him like a hawk searching for its prey and he was in no mood to expose his relationship with Gareth to his former lover.

Scratch that, _lovers_. Plural. Fabio was also still sitting close by, eyeing him as usual.

Things with him and Fabio had been icy lately.

Cris was still angry at him for the fact that Fabio had nearly cost him everything he had with Gareth, so he had persistently avoided him today.

Lucas' words didn't stop eating away at him and when he left the dressing room and stepped into his Ferrari, he called the one person that he needed to speak to right now.

Someone he hadn't spoken to in ages, but only now realized that he had missed immensely.

He dialed the number and as usual, got a response at the second beep. ''Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in. I never thought I would hear from you again. How have you been Cris?''

''I'm sorry it's been so long Sami, I just _really_ need to talk to you,'' Cris said, already feeling a bit lighter after hearing Sami Khedira's warm, sultry voice.

Sami had a way of making you feel like all your troubles didn't exist any longer.  
As if he took them away in the blink of an eye.

He heard Sami chuckle on the other end of the line. ''I feel flattered that you thought of me, so tell me what's wrong?''

''Why would anything be wrong?''

''Why else would you be calling me? Besides, your voice is wavering and thin. What is going on?''

Cris took a left turn and drove up his street. ''I'm nearly home, when I get there, can I see you?''

Sami laughed again, gentler this time. ''Well it might be a bit tricky for me to get on a plane right now to see you, I do have international duties you know,''

Cris rolled his eyes at Sami's typical dry humor. ''Ha-ha, very funny man. _Priceless_. I meant FaceTime and you bloody know it,''

''Ah, now _that_ I can do. When you parked your car that is. I won't have you crashing yourself on my behalf,''

''Same old Sami, still the safety officer of the pack,'' Cris retorted dryly, knowing that Sami hated it when he said that.

But it was true though, Sami was one of the most cautious people he had ever met.

Whenever he called him and he was in his car, he wouldn't pick up, not even when he could call handsfree. Sami didn't want to be distracted while driving.

He was always watching out for everyone's safety. That was sort of his thing.

''Jerk off,'' Sami told him, but Cris heard the lightness in his voice.

''Yes, I have done that many times,''

''Have you parked your car yet smart-ass?''

''Yes, your German highness,'' Cris said truthful, seeing how he just stepped out of his garage.

When he stepped into his pristine living room he slouched down on the couch.

The same couch where he and Sami had made love once. Right on the same spot where he was sitting. It was strange to recall that, while he was speaking with Sami now.

It distracted him from what he wanted to speak to Sami about.

''Turn on your FaceTime,'' Sami ordered and Cristiano, as usual, obliged. Sami had always had some sort of a strange power over him. One he couldn't rightly explain.

It was just _there_. Like a force of nature.

They saw each other's faces and Sami frowned at him. ''Jesus, you look like shit,''

''And a big hello to you too,'' Cris retorted, as he desperately tried to figure out what about his appearance looked this shitty to Sami.

He searched for a while but couldn't find anything.

His eyes were clear, his hair looked perfect and his face was the same as usual.

Why would Sami say that he looked like shit?

Sami himself however, looked anything like shit. The short hair suited him and his face was kind and sculptured as ever.

He looked absolutely beautiful and Cris admired the sight of him for a moment. Just because he was in love with Gareth didn't mean that he could not still see beauty in other people around him did it?

''Sorry,'' Sami offered.

Cris was used to Sami's brutal honesty, but it had been a long time since they had spoken and it took some times to get accustomed with it again.

''Why do I look like shit? I think I look great,'' Cris said. Most of his friends would have made a snappy remark, saying that of course he thought he looked great because of his big ego, but Sami wasn't like that.

He wouldn't judge or categorize him.

''I don't know, your eyes seem a bit sad. You look disgruntled,''

Cris sighed deep. ''I need to ask you something and I want you to be your usual self when you answer it,''

Sami arched a dark eyebrow. ''My usual self? Meaning?''

''Brutally honest,''

''Oh, I can do that for you,'' Sami assured him cheerfully.

Those simple words caused a lump in Cristiano's throat. One he couldn't truly explain.

''Did you ever feel used by me during our time together?'' he choked the words out of his mouth, heart pounding in his chest when he waited for the response. Sami looked taken aback by his words.

His jaw dangled open and his dark eyes widened.

''What?!''

''You heard me: did you ever feel used by me?''

_''Cris-''_

''Answer the fucking question, you said you would,''

''Well, at the beginning maybe I did wonder about it-just a little bit. But after a while of having you in my bed, I knew that you weren't using me. You actually really cared about me. I could tell. Where the hell is all of this coming from suddenly?'' Sami asked sharply as he eyed Cris carefully.

''Lucas said that I didn't care about any of my man-whores. I slept with him a while ago and he wanted to go home with me today, but I refused him.  
Then he got mad at me and said that I was a slut without any feelings.  
I felt bad for making him feel like that and had to know whether you thought of me like that too,'' Cris blurted the words out without thinking them through properly and found himself blushing when he was done speaking.

God, he was such an idiot for calling Sami. He should have just let it be.

But he couldn't. He was obsessive and wanted to make sure that Sami didn't think badly of him. Somehow that was really _important_ to him.

''Can I ask you something?'' Sami said and Cris nodded miserably in return. ''Did you call any of your other former _'lovers'_  so to speak, to ask them the same thing?''

Oh Sami, sweet Sami.

He still refused to say mean things such as 'sluts' or 'conquests' to Cristiano.

He did him the courtesy of calling them lovers.

It was typical for Sami's character to do so. He was an honorable man.

Cris shook his head, feeling nauseous. ''So why is _my_ opinion on you so important to you Cristiano?'' Sami pursued, clearly insistent to get to the bottom of whatever this was.

Cris stared at Sami for a while, not really sure what to say.

What could he say when he himself was not even clear on what point he wanted to get across.

''I'm not really sure honestly. I guess you made me feel like I could be...better. Like I could do anything. Before you I had only meaningless sex, mostly to ease my endlessly reeling brain, to silence it in a way.  
It was a way of escaping myself, the reality of who I was. When I let Sergio fuck me, I felt nothing. Only relieve that for once, my demons were no longer plaguing me with their presence.  
For once, I was completely _free_. And it felt so fucking good. So liberating to not be me for a moment. But when I started sleeping with you, I changed. You changed me. For the better.  
With you I no longer felt the need to escape myself, because you _saw_ me.  
The real me and it was safe to show you my true colors. I think you were the first person who ever made love to the real Cristiano. I guess I just feel sad that people I slept with think that I have no emotions whatsoever,''

Sami gaped at him, clearly amazed. ''You never seize to surprise me, do you realize that?''

Cris smiled cautiously. ''Is that a good thing?''

''It is, I'm glad that I could make you feel loved and respected for who you are.  
That is important to me, seeing how I've always had a soft spot in my heart for you. I knew that we would never be a real couple for obvious reasons but I will always think of you with nothing but good feelings,'' Sami said.

''Why do you say that? For _obvious_ reasons? What do you mean by that?''

''Come on Cris, we both realized we would never be together. At that time you were not really a relationship type of person and I was.  
Besides, I always knew that you would leave me-eventually.  
At that time you were still a runner when it came to feeling anything even remotely real.  
If I made you feel like I had actual feelings for you, you would have ran for the hills.  
For no one could get close to you at that time. Not even me, despite the fact that you trusted me more than most people. I sensed that,''

''You're wrong, with you I was completely myself. You saw me. All of me. I never hid away from you,'' Cris argued but Sami shook his head. ''Maybe not, but if I had told you that I was in love with you at the time, I would have never had you in my bed again. Or am I wrong about that?''

''Were you really? In _love_ with me at that time?'' Cristiano couldn't resist to ask.

Sami sighed, a small blush creeping over his pale cheeks. ''Do you even have to ask me that?''

''Apparently not, no,''

''Did you ever return those feelings?'' Sami asked, voice no more than a whisper in the wind.

Cris lowered his head, knowing that he owed Sami the truth. _''Yes,''_ he admitted.

He had never thought, not in a million years, that he had ever been in love with Sami.

Not until this moment. How had he never realized that?

He had missed Sami over the past couple years, but he never thought anything of it.

But he could never lie to him. Sami had a way of getting to the truth with a simple crease of an eyebrow.

Sami let out a soft, half relieved chuckle. ''God look at us, bunch of pathetic _almost_ lovers,''

Cristiano smiled back. ''Well for what it's worth: you would have been a great partner for me if things had went a bit differently.  
You're one of the best guys I've ever known. I'll always feel something special for you, even though we'll never be together. I do miss having you around,''

''I miss you too, and I miss being in Madrid, Turin is amazing, don't get me wrong, but I do miss my friends. I'm glad you called me. It's been ages since we last spoke,''

''I know, I'm sorry for that,''

''Don't be, I didn't call you either now did I? So why the sudden need to speak to me today?''

''I just started dating someone, who I really like, perhaps even love.  
But when Lucas said all those things to me, I just had to call you, to check whether I was capable of making someone feel loved and cared for. I knew you were the only one who would ever answer me truthfully.  
Plus, what we had was something special, so I figured you would be the best judge of character when it came to me and whether I'm relationship material,'' Cristiano confessed.

It felt good to let it all out.

To speak to someone outside the club about all this. He could have called Grizi of course, but he didn't know him the way Sami did.

He had held Cristiano while he had been sleeping.

Sami could have asked who he was dating, but it wasn't in his nature to pry. If Cris wanted to tell him, he would, otherwise Sami would never ask it of him.

''I see, well to answer your question whether you are relationship material: I think you are. If you can find someone who can deal with your OCD and your numerous difficult habits. If he or she can take that, you would be an amazing partner to them. I know it,''

''He can deal with my strange traits, he showed me that he can,'' Cris said, not even caring about revealing that he was dating a man. Sami would never judge him.

''Well then I think you should be great at it. I know you have insecurities Cris, but you don't _have_ to let them define you. You are a great man, one that knows how to love.  
I still love you in a way and part of me always will, even if we will never be together.  
But that doesn't matter. You have the capacity to make people care about you.  
But only when you let them see the real you. The one you attempt to be for the media isn't a man that I could ever love. But this Cristiano, the one I'm seeing right now, he knows how to love and how to let himself be loved,'' Sami told him, eyes shining with held back tears.

Cristiano struggled against his own as well. Sami had a knack for alway saying the right things.

He could always make you cry.

''I'm seeing Gareth Bale,'' Cristiano heard himself confess the truth before he could hold it in.

Sami's eyes widened in surprise.

Clearly that name hadn't been on his list of candidates who Cris would ever start a relationship with.

Nor had he been on Cristiano's list either to be fair, not until six days ago when Pepe started this stupid bet that led to a relationship.

''You're surprised,'' Cris stated when Sami pursed his lips together when he realized his jaw had dangled open again.

''Of course I am. Gareth Bale is the absolute last person I would ever see you with. I didn't think that he was your type,''

''He isn't, not really. But still, I have feelings for him, only god knows why,''

Sami let out an anxious gasp. ''Well, congratulations I guess. I'm happy for you two,''

Cris narrowed his eyes. ''I think that might be the first lie you ever told me,''

''It _wasn't_ a lie, I do want you to be happy. I'm just a bit taken aback by this news, that's all,''

''I understand,''

''What about Fabio?'' Sami asked, after a small, tensed silence that made Cris nervous. He hated it when things were awkward between him and Sami.

''We haven't been together in ages, I loved him with all my heart but he refused to leave his wife for me. He broke my heart,''

Sami's eyes were kind and gentle. ''I'm sorry to hear that, why haven't you called me when that happened? I would have been there for you,''

If it were anyone else, Cris would have shouted at them for that comment, stating that they had a god-complex for thinking that he needed anyone's help.

But this was Sami, his _safe_ haven. His fierce protector.

The one who would curl up behind him after they made love and held him through the night and afterward surprised him with breakfast in bed.

The only man he slept with that he couldn't bring himself to kick out of his house immediately after sex.

Instead, he wanted him to stay and Sami had never protested against it.

''I don't know, I should have called you. I wanted to. But I was too damn proud to let anyone help me through it, I wanted to pretend that it never happened and just move on with my life.  
I didn't want to admit defeat. If I called you, let you guide me through it, I would be weak again,''

Sami frowned deep. ''Is that really the reason? Or were you just worried that you would fall back into my arms again if you asked for my help?  
You're not that proud Cris, I think you were just stubborn and insistent on solving everything yourself because you wanted to prove a point. That you didn't need anyone in your life. That you would be fine without a relationship.  
That day you probably vowed to yourself that you would never ever let yourself fall for anyone again didn't you? That you would never be weak again. Because when you love someone, you have everything to lose and you would never lose again.  
You couldn't ask me for my help because if you did, you would want to be with me again and that, you couldn't afford,''

Cris felt his mind racing at two hundred miles an hour. Was Sami right? What he was saying made sense. When he looked at Sami's concerned, kind face he suddenly wished that he was close by so that he could give him a hug.

Until now, he hadn't completely realized how much he had craved for Sami's company after his departure. He missed having him as a friend.

Sami continued his reprimand. ''Everything you've ever done was to _avoid_ pain. Sleeping around, sarcasm, keeping everyone at arm's length so no one could hurt you. Pain happens when you _care,_ ''

Cristiano swallowed thick, suppressing his tears with the last shard of willpower he had left.

''Cris?'' Sami interrupted his worries, turning his attention back to him, ''Did I offend you?''

''No, you were right-as usual. I just hadn't realized how much I've missed you until today. You know, when people depart from my life, I tend to put them right out of my mind.  
I move on immediately and nearly forget about all the good times I had with them.  
My mind just works like that, it is built to not get attached to anything or anyone. For if I do, I get hurt or left behind. You're right, I always try to avoid pain when I can.  
So when you left, I put you in one of my little boxes with good memories and focused on the task ahead of me. But now, I miss you. I wish you were here to give me a hug,'' Cris admitted.

He wasn't in love with Sami any longer, seeing how his heart belonged to another now, but he did miss having Sami around. Sami had been his rock. One of the stable factors in his life of chaos.

''Well, I can always come and visit you in a few weeks, when we both have some time off,'' Sami suggested.

''I would love that,''

''Great, let's set that up. But promise me one thing?''

Cris' lips twitched up expectantly. ''Hmm?''

''Call me when you need me, please. Don't go through your shit alone when you don't have to. I'm still always here for you as your friend,'' Sami vowed.

''Thank you, I promise to call you the next time. But you too all right? Don't be a stranger,'' Cris told the younger man.

''Okay, I promise,''

''I have to go now Sami, Gareth is coming over soon. I'm making him dinner,''  
Sami creased that bloody eyebrow again, indicating that he was being an idiot. Cris secretly hated that eyebrow. ''You don't even cook,''

''Fine, I'm ordering dinner from a great restaurant and serve it to him. Big difference,'' he winked.

Sami chuckled amused. ''God I've missed you, you _ridiculous_ human being,''

''Yes I love you too, you utterly _boring_ German,''

''See you later Cris, take care,''

''Bye Sami,'' Cris waved briefly at him and Sami raised his hand back at him before the screen turned black.

Marosca came wandering into the living room and jumped on the couch beside him, pressing his wet nose onto Cris' lap. ''Yes that was Sami you heard, you remember him don't you? He always brought you treats,'' Cris hummed, reminiscing to the times when Sami had frequently came over to spend time with him.

Marosca surveyed him closely and licked his hand in response. Cris laid down on the couch for a bit, his dog curled up on top of him, snoozing soft.

His mind was still racing quicker than the top speed of one of his Ferrari's about his phone call with Sami.

The prospect of seeing Sami again in the near future made him awful giddy. Around three in the afternoon, his front gate rang.

He slid off the couch to answer it. Grizi was at his door, carrying Hookie in his arms.

''Hey dude, do you wanna go for a walk with us?'' he chimed.

Cris shrugged, Marosca already sitting brightly at his feet, begging him to go out. ''Sure, hold on a sec,''

He put the leash on his Labrador and shut the door behind him, walking up to the gate.

Grizi grinned at him and gave him a quick fist bump when he saw him. ''How have you been?''  
''Good, and you?''

''Fine, thanks,''

Their dogs greeted each other enthusiastically, licking each other's fur.

''So how are things going with you and Gareth?'' Grizi asked as they turned left to walk their usual route.

''Great, he's coming over for dinner today. I'm ordering a four course meal from one of my favorite restaurants,''

''Cool, are you going to miss him when you leave for the international break?''

''Of course, but we'll survive it,''

''So, have you slept with him yet?'' Grizi asked bluntly and Cris was grateful he had just finished taking a sip of his drink otherwise he would have choked on it.

''What sort of a question is _that?''_ he exclaimed.

Grizi shrugged callously. ''I don't know, I thought we were friends now. Friends tell each other that sort of thing don't they?''

''We _are_ friends, but I'm kind of private about such things Grizi, you know that. But no, I haven't slept with him yet. Not that it's any of your business,''

Cris realized with a shock that it was the first time he had called Grizi a friend, but speaking with Sami had made him realize that maybe he would be better off with letting people in for once.

That it wasn't necessary to keep everyone at arm's length.

 _'Pain happens when you care,'_ Sami had wisely told him. The words seemed to echo in the back of his mind.

Grizi blinked at him, clearly stunned. ''You never called me your friend before. Should I feel honored by it?''

''You should, yes,''

They chatted lightly during the rest of their walk and Grizi embraced him when they said goodbye.

When it was only an hour until Gareth would come over, Cristiano ordered dinner, telling the restaurant to bring it over as soon as possible, so that he could store it in his oven and fridge.

He dressed himself nicely, standing in front of his mirror for ages until he decided on an outfit. Nothing too fancy, Gareth wouldn't like that. Just neat jeans, his white shirt and simple black shoes.

He did his hair this time, despite knowing that Gareth preferred his curls. He just felt better with his hair like this.

Around five minutes past four, Gareth rang the gate bell.

Cris let him in and opened the front door to greet him. Gareth was looking absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful. Despite the fact that he wasn't wearing anything special, or had done anything out of the ordinary. He was just plain gorgeous.

Cristiano fell in love with him again, right then and there. ''You look- _amazing_ ,'' he gaped, as he tugged Gareth closer to himself, kissing his lips briefly.

Gareth chuckled. ''As do you. You're bloody beautiful,''

''Thank you,'' Cris blushed.

When Gareth wanted to step inside, Cris braced the door, holding the Welshman in place. ''No, wait. I just want to look at you for a second,''

''Can't you do that _inside_ the house?'' Gareth joked, but Cris shook his head fiercely. ''No,'' he replied.

He was suddenly so struck by his own emotions that they threatened to overwhelm him. Sami had unleashed a dam near his heart, letting all of his feelings run freely, with nowhere to go but course through Cristiano's system.

He stared deep into Gareth's dependable blue eyes, searching for something he couldn't name. ''I just need you to know that you mean the world to me. That I will always be honest with you and will always do everything in my power to make you happy. I don't want to hide from my feelings any longer, I want to be brave for once. Sami taught me that lesson.  
That I cannot avoid emotions forever. I feel so _blessed_ to have found someone like you. Thank you for accepting me for who I am. Not many people can do that for me,''

A tear rolled down Gareth's cheek as he pulled Cris into a fierce hug that nearly knocked the air of out the Portuguese.

''You mean _everything_ to me as well,'' Gareth promised him.

Cristiano had not felt this hopeful about a relationship in all his life.

And for the first time ever, he didn't feel like running away from it.

It was time to be brave for once. 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC......_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I really, really liked including Sami in this story. I never ever shipped them, not even remotely, but in this story it works for me. 
> 
> Sami and Cris are sort of Almost lovers, which is why I named the title like that. They could have made it, but somehow they weren't meant to be and they both knew it. 
> 
> I felt it worked for the story to have Sami be the one who helped Cris moving forward.  
> This chapter became much longer than I had expected it to be btw. 
> 
> One more chapter coming, ( maybe two, but no promises ).
> 
> Let me know if you liked this guys, your comments and kudos keep me going. <3


	12. Through the looking glass.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One month later, a lot has changed. 
> 
>  
> 
> Cris however, has not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first of all, I'm super sorry for taking so long to update this. Life got majorly in the way. I had to move back from England again, because things didn't work out there, so I'm back in my own country looking for a job and still working on the side, meanwhile dealing with my brother's move and all other sorts of shit. 
> 
> So it's been rather hectic. And I've had major issues on the writers block front. Still do. I've been working on this chapter all day and I'm still not pleased with it. But I hope you guys do like it. 
> 
> What I do like about this chapter is that I made it about Cris and Karim's brotherly bond again. I wanted to do that one more time before I put an ending to this story, I feel like their relationship is so underrated and that Cris really does rely on Karim and considers him his 'brother' in a way. So another chapter with much love for the amazingly, selfless Karim Benzema. 
> 
> I hope I've managed to make it into something somewhat decent.  
> There will be one more chapter after this one. An epilogue.

_Madrid_.

 

 

 

Cris had been dating Gareth for nearly a month when _it_ happened.

The day had been uneventful really, just training and them spending the night at Gareth's place, having dinner and watching a movie afterward as they slumped together on the couch, snuggling. Gareth was curled up against Cristiano's side, his face plastered to his collarbone and his eyes slightly fluttered. Their fingers and limbs were tangled together peacefully.

It was in that moment, when nothing really special was going on that Cristiano heard a tiny whisper coming from Gareth's lips.  
Words that sounded an awful lot like an:  _I love you_.

Most people dreamed of this moment, when their partner who they were absolutely crazy about, who made their bones shake with a simple kiss told them that they loved them.

Cristiano however, was _not_ most people, as much as he liked to be. If only he was uncomplicated and normal, whatever that meant. Sweet, heartfelt words like these had a reversed effect on him.

Twisted something in his stomach, made him cringe involuntarily. He did care about Gareth, a lot actually, more than he could explain in words. But hearing him drop the bloody _L bomb_ was too much, too soon. He panicked. Felt ice water coursing through his veins as all of his senses slowly heightened. 

He could rationally understand why Gareth would say this to him, considering what they had already gone through to get to this point, but it opened an old sore in his heart that activated his flight mode.

He wanted to run for the proverbial hills, move into a remote cabin and never look back. Live as a hermit for the rest of his life.

He felt like a trapped gazelle on the savannah that was getting ready to plunge away form the lions that were stalking it.  
After the disaster with Fabio, not to mention all his conflicting feelings about Sami, it was suddenly all moving too fast for him to keep up. He felt like he was barely holding on.

His brain needed more time to adapt to all the sudden changes that were going on in his life. Everything seemed to go haywire, making his head spin.

Cris was madly in love with Gareth and he really enjoyed their relationship so far, but for the first time in his life, he needed to switch back to a slower gear instead of recklessly coursing around in fifth.

At Gareth's request they were taking things really slow, they hadn't even had sex yet, well aside from a few hand jobs. Cris would have thought that he would have a hard time being so close to Gareth and not having actual sex with him, but shockingly it hadn't been.

It felt really nice to slowly explore each other's bodies, to find out what made Gareth tick so to say. What kind of gestures drove him mad with lust.

Cristiano was thoroughly enjoying the ride so far, easing into this new and unexpected relationship was the best thing he had ever done.

He needed the time to recover from the heartache that Fabio caused him and Gareth had even got him to see his own psychologist, who unveiled a whole new level of issues that Cristiano never even knew existed within him.

Talking to Martin felt good, because he was impartial, practical, listened intensively and gave good advice on how to handle his problems.

Cris was pretty sure that most of their teammates knew about them. He could tell by their facial expressions when he and Gareth shared a moment or a glimpse and everyone around them was winking or gaping at them. Isco and Sergio were the worst at it. Though they were kind enough to never confront them with it.

After Gareth said the words that would hunt Cristiano to an early grave, he went silent. Cris wondered if he was even awake. He eyed his lover thoroughly and concluded that the Welshman was indeed succumbed to a deep slumber.

Maybe he hadn't even said those words to Cris, perhaps he had been dreaming about his family or something like that. Yes, that sounded logical.

Still, because he didn't believe that people could change, Cris slipped out from underneath Gareth as quietly as het could and fled his house like a thief in the night.  
He left a sketchy note on the kitchen counter, scribbling something about a headache and wanting to sleep at his own place.

When he came home, his mind was so scattered and conflicted that he took the next reasonable step, calling his pilot. He told him to get his jet ready to leave to Turin.

Yes, going to see Sami was probably-no definitely-not the smartest thing to do in his current emotional situation, but his voice spoke on its own accord.

This would never end well. Not for him, nor Sami or Gareth. Cris was about to stir shit up that was better off staying buried.

But that was who he was, he sabotaged everything good that ever happened to him. He texted Karim, telling him that he would need to speak with him first thing in the morning. Karim didn't text back, which was curious. He drove to the little airfield nearby and parked his car.

The ugly club Audi this time, if that thing got stolen he would be glad he was rid of it.

He got out and walked to the airstrip, only to notice that the plane wasn't there. How was it not there yet?  
He had called them an hour ago, he even offered them extra money because it was so late.

There was another car standing close by, its lights off. When Cris' eyes adapted to the darkness, he finally recognized it. It was a black Mercedes Benz.

A familiar figure stepped out of it and walked toward him. Karim.

''And where do you think _you're_ going?'' he said. Karim had never looked this serious and disappointed with Cris in his entire life.

It made him feel really uneasy. The Frenchman folded his arms together in the same strict manner that Iker used to do when he was brooding on a stern speech, expecting an answer, an apology or both.

''How did you even know I was here?'' Cris asked, not really sure what else to say.

''Gareth called me, saying that you sneaked off without saying goodbye, leaving him there without an excuse.  
When you texted me I knew that you were on the run again. And judging by your increasing text messages with Sami lately, there was only one place were you would go. Not to my house, as you should do when you're freaking out, like we agreed, but running all the way to fucking Turin in the middle of the night. I don't even know why I'm surprised after all these years of knowing you.  
You run when things get too scary for you to deal with, I enable you and everyone else around me. A tiger doesn't change her stripes apparently. You're really letting me down with this Cris, and worse: you're letting yourself down- _again_. You're so terrified of actual commitment, of sincere happiness that whenever you reach that point, you purposely find a way to wreck it. Terrified of being left behind again.   
You can't mourn and lose something you never had can you? Bro, you need to stop avoiding all forms of pain, because this is killing you, and me along with it,'' Karim stated.

There was no judgement in his voice, that wasn't his style, but the message behind the words was harsh and delved into Cris' chest like a longsword.

He knew that Karim was right. He always was. But that didn't make things any easier. Being aware of your shit and actually having the power to change it was an entirely different thing. He let Karim down by not coming to him when he needed to talk.

Karim was his brother by choice and Cris loved him with all his heart. Why hadn't he asked him for help? Why was he suddenly so keen on seeing Sami?  
Deep in his heart he knew that seeing him right now was the worst idea in the history of the world. Nothing good would come of it. He would hurt all three of them if he went down that road again.

Was he truly that insistent in ruining yet another relationship, the best one he had so far, willing to throw it all away for a few hours of having sex with someone else? Someone he should have forgotten about by now, but hadn't.

Cristiano _hated_ himself. That was the only thing he knew for sure.  
Hated how he always sabotaged everything good in his life because he was so afraid that he didn't deserve a happy ending.

That he was better off alone because he was too complex for a successful relationship. He felt his lip quivering as hot tears welled up in his eyes.

Karim extended his arms toward him and Cris fell into them without a second of hesitation. He cried all his grief and fears out of his system and Karim held him calmly, stroking his back while he mumbled soothing words in his ears.  
It was like some of his peace flooded into Cristiano's soul when they stood there, as if he was being engulfed by a warm wave of soothing water that cleansed all of his problems away, carrying him back to the sea.

His head cleared eerily quickly after that and realization what he had done hit him. Fucking hell, was he really this selfish? How could he even consider leaving Gareth behind to visit Sami? What kind of a monster would do such a thing?

''My god what have I done?'' Cris groaned, burying his face even deeper into Karim's shoulder. The pressure of it must have hurt but Karim never even flinched.

''Relax man, technically you haven't done _anything_ yet. You had a scare yes, but Gareth knew going in that you would occasionally run from him and need some time to gather your thoughts when it all became too much.  
That is all that has happened so far. You haven't cheated on him, you didn't went to see Sami. You just slipped off in the middle of the night.  
Yes that was a little shady but he will forgive you for that. You're coming home with me for the night, I don't want you staying alone right now. And being with Gareth is not a very good plan considering your emotional state, so follow me back to my place,'' Karim mumbled, the order sounding as immovable as a statue.

Cris knew he had no choice but to comply. To be fair, it sounded like a rather good plan and he wasn't really in the mood to be alone. He had always hated being alone. The thoughts in his head became so loud that they threatened to consume him whole. The more people around him, the better. At least that silenced his mind.

Cristiano would always need the one person who was his rock, who he could always count on, no matter what he did or who he hurt. It was hard to find people who loved you no matter what.

Cris considered himself lucky to have found one like Karim. A guy he could always count on, who would literally jump in front of a bullet to save him.

Cris had his own family of course, and he had a brother of his own, Hugo, but still, his bond with them had always been difficult and slightly forced.  
He loved his family, but they never really understood him.

Karim was the family that he had chosen for himself. His little brother, although it often felt like he was the younger one and Karim was functioning like his older, problem solving, protective sibling.

''Merci mon frère,'' Cristiano exclaimed, when he found his breath again, ''I don't know what I would do without you-honestly,''

Karim smiled shyly, dimples forming in his pale cheeks. ''Likewise Cris, but you don't ever have to worry about going through life without me. I'm always going to be here to catch you when you fall. That's what family is for. Come on, let's get you home,''

''What about the plane?'' Cris suddenly asked, having nearly forgotten about calling the grumpy pilot out of his bed.

''Already taken care off. I paid him to go back to bed, I have his number too you know,'' Karim shrugged, looking a bit smug. Cris had to admit that he was impressed by Karim. He had so much more skills and qualities than most people knew about.

They drove to Karim's place and parked their cars. Cristiano texted Gareth from the car, saying that he would call him in the morning. That he was sorry for sneaking off like that. Gareth replied that it was okay but that he needed to start communicating his issues to him. Cris could only agree with that.

He parked his car in Karim's garage and followed him inside the house. Cris sat down on Karim's sofa and watched his brother take one of his lazy chairs and placing it a few inches away from him. ''So do you want to lie down for this?'' Karim asked. He folded his arms together and gave him an expectant look.

''What are you talking about?''

''I am going to be your shrink right now. So talk. You don't even have to pay me. Just tell me whatever it was that freaked you out like that. I'll listen and tell you my conclusion,''

Cris couldn't hold in his scoff. ''You're not serious?''

Karim raised a sharp eyebrow, giving him a slightly hurt glance. ''Why not bro? I've been your personal therapist for years now haven't I?  
How many hours have I spent listening to your shit? How many late night phone calls have I endured? I've basically been your shrink for ages, you just _''forgot''_ to pay me for all your sessions. So why don't you man up and tell me whatever it was that spooked the living shit out of you,''

Cristiano pondered on that for a moment. Karim's words certainly made sense to him, considering the amount of time and energy he had spent in Cristiano's personal life over the years. And yes, he was a great listener. It couldn't hurt to talk about it right? Sami had told him to ask for help when he needed it.

Sami and Karim were two of those annoying people that were barely ever wrong about anything. Bloody smartasses. A couple of guys who knew what you needed before _you_ even did. It was fucking degrading really.

But Cris knew he had to get rid of some of his residual fears and so he decided to spill his beans. He told Karim everything that was going on in his relationship. Karim sat there silently, nodded from time to time and listened.

And it felt damn good, to let it all out. Not that he would ever admit that to Karim, he was far too proud for that.  
When he was done speaking, Karim smoothed his sleeves straight and sat up straight, preparing himself for a reasonable conclusion probably.

''Look, when you first started dating Gaz, I knew that this was going to happen, sooner or later. Because I know you better than you know yourself. I always have. You freaking out when things would get too serious was _inevitable_. Unfortunately. Because despite your best efforts, you still haven't been able to get over Fabio deserting you so unceremoniously. It has scarred you so much that you can't let anyone get too close to you know without feeling the urge to run for the hills. It's normal to have some commitment and abandonment issues after what you've been through.  
But you need to acknowledge them, own up to it. When you feel the need to escape and to burn your bridges, find someone that will listen to you and help you through that moment.

''Me for instance. Don't hide yourself from them. Confront them.  
Avoiding all this will only wreck things with Gaz and I know that's the last thing you want.  
Don't think that I haven't noticed how you look at him. He might have jumped the gun on the L word, but judging from your behavior he's not the only one who's deeply in love. I know it's hard to open yourself up to a new relationship, to be vulnerable again. But you need to talk to him about this, talk to Gareth. Tell him what you're afraid of. He would _never_ hurt you for opening up,'' Karim said.

Immediately Cristiano felt his thoughts trail back to Fabio, Karim had touched the core of his shit with a needle. ''Yes and that's _exactly_ what Fabio always swore to me. That he would never-ever hurt me. He would rather die. Turns out that was just a giant load of bullshit. How can I ever trust someone again Karim? How? Gareth can promise me to have my back, to stay loyal to me etcetera, but how can I listen to it and really, actually believe him? I'm trying to, real hard.  
But I just can't. Fabio fucked me up. He's making me doubt whether I'm ready for all of this. Ready for a new man in my life. I'm not sure. I think there's only two guys I truly trust out there, one is you and the other is Sami. You two have never fucked me over. _You_ have proven to me that I can trust you both not to hurt me. I want to have faith in Gareth and I know I should have because he never hurt me, but sometimes when I kiss him or hold him, I literally hear Fabio's words echoing in my ears.  
And all that pain just comes right back to torment me.

''I don't know how to be with someone again Karim. I don't know if I can. That's why I wanted to see Sami I think, because maybe, just maybe, I was hoping for-well I'm not sure what for.  
Maybe that we would get back together or something like that. Because I can't be with you and like I said, I _trust_ him. I have faith in his character. I'm just-scared. For everything that is about to happen and everything that has happened, that made me into who I am today. I don't want to be broken anymore, I want to be happy.  
But whenever I am, I ruin it. I self destruct. Honestly, everybody always states that I'm so lucky and privileged, boys want to look like me, girls want me. Everyone thinks I have it all. Truth is that I can barely look myself in the mirror without repressing the urge to throw up. I despise my own reflection. He's not who I want to be. I want to be better, but I don't know how,'' he sighed. Karim left his chair and sat beside him, clasping onto his hand, allowing Cris to press his face against his shoulder as he held him tight.

''I know, and it hurts me to hear that you hate your own reflection. It's a fucking tragedy when you think about it. That said, we both know that Sami isn't the solution to your commitment issues bro. He would love you fiercely and with all his heart, but you would get bored with him eventually, we both know it. He loved you and probably still does on some level, but I know that you don't really want him anymore. You want to be with Gaz, and you should be. More than anyone on this planet, you deserve to be happy. _Truly_.  
But only you can make it happen. Not me, not Sami, hell not even Gareth. You have the power to change how you feel about yourself. Only you. And you're strong enough to do it, despite the fact that you don't feel like that right now. You feel weak, you're like a wounded animal, but you are still powerful Cris. I see that strength in you that I wish I had. That level of discipline, that control, that drive to be the absolute best.  
I wish I was like you. But when it comes to relationships, you are-difficult-complex. Maybe you and Gaz need to take another step back. Take it even slower than you already have. See that psychologist more, try to put that past pain behind you,'' Karim suggested as his fingers ghosted calmly over Cris' back.

Cris nodded into the nook of his neck. ''I think you're right-as usual. Maybe it's been going so fast that suddenly I feel suffocated. Perhaps it is better to take a step back. I don't want to lose him though, because I do care about him a lot and I find him to be extraordinarily special, but I need more time.  
Otherwise I will ruin it all. That's the last thing he needs too, to be wrecked by someone he loves, again. He's been burned too much already,''

''I agree, so just give it some time. Now go upstairs, get some sleep and call him in the morning. Or go over. If you want me to go with you, I will,''

Cristiano had to smile at that. Karim offering to go with him for support would have been degrading to him, if the offer came from anyone else, but since it was him, Cris knew it was genuine and not meant in a patronizing manner.

He pulled Karim into another embrace, holding him close. Hoping that the gesture would convey all those words of gratitude that he could never say out loud.  
''I love you Karim,''

''I love you too, now get your ass up that stairs. It's way past your fucking bedtime,''

''Yes mom, jeez I'm going. I thought _I_ was the eldest brother here,''

''Uhu, hey Cris?''

''Hmmm?''

''Everything will be okay. I have your back,''

''I know, that's about the only thing that I can always rely on in my life,''

''Sleep well bro,''

''You too. And thank you, for everything,''

''Of course,''

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC......_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always: thanks for reading and don't forget to let me know what you think of it.  
> Kudos and notes are always highly appreciated! <3
> 
> And yes, I put in a lot of my own commitment issues in this chapter. I didn't think it would be realistic if Cris and Gaz would just ride into the sunset without their old problems still veering up from time to time to cause drama. You don't just overcome serious abandonment and commitment issues. 
> 
> Trust me. So naturally, when things go too well in a relationship, there would be a freakout. But I did promise a happy ending and that you shall have. 
> 
> I just can't believe how much this chapter kicked my ass today. I feel exhausted now that it's finished. 6 hours and only so little words. I really appreciate notes guys, I feel really insecure about this one.


	13. In the end.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two months later Cristiano and Gareth take a little trip to see an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter of this story. It's been an amazing ride and I've loved every minute of writing this. I love all of you for being so generous with your kudos and comments and I hope everyone will like this ending. 
> 
> As the guy on Supernatural said: endings are hard. So bloody hard. I can type a good beginning in a heartbeat but an ending is a menace to me. 
> 
> If the end isn't good it can destroy the entire story in my eyes. So I hope you will like it and will be satisfied with it.  
> Let me know what you think of it. 
> 
> Thanks for the amazing time you guys have given me during all this. I almost feel a bit sad about this ending, finishing a fic as a writer can feel a bit like a goodbye. You spend so much time on it and suddenly it's all over. I'm going to miss this story.

_Turin-Caselle Airport. Late November, 2016._

 

 

 

''What the _hell_ was I thinking when I agreed to this? It's a fucking ridiculous idea! I can't believe I let you two talk me into this,'' Cristiano was having a royal panic attack  as soon as the airplane touched Italian soil. The second one he had in months. The first one had been a few hours ago, right before departure. 

After his little freakout about him running away from Gareth two months ago, things had been going a lot better. He had felt rather good about their developing relationship for a while now. Yes they had to work on it daily, to keep it running smoothly and communication was the key considering their cultural differences but still, it worked, _surprisingly_. 

But when Gareth suggested to come to Turin to help Cris find some closure he knew that it was a bad idea. However he let Karim and Gareth convince him that it would be good for him, to finally let go of his residual baggage and regret when it came to Sami.  
But now that they had landed and reality was sinking in Cris couldn't help but feel as if this was the worst idea in the history of the world.

Taking Gareth with him was probably for the best, not that he was afraid of being unfaithful to him, not at all, but he felt like he needed all the support he could get. He would have taken Karim with him too if he could, but Karim had been too busy with family problems to come along. His mother had been ill lately and it took a toll on him and his family.

Gareth was absolutely great but Karim was his rock who saw through him better than anyone, who knew him inside out and right now he needed him more than he ever had before. It felt strange to do this without him. A sad wave of sheer loss coursed through his system. 

''Calm down would you? Everything will be _fine_ , you'll see. I'm here for you and Sami won't bite,'' Gareth said calmly, as he hauled their baggage from the compartments and set them in the aisle with two loud thumps.

''I know that thank you! Oh goddamn it, did you look outside? There's mountains of snow everywhere! I fucking hate snow,''  
''Don't be so melodramatic please,''

''Hey, I'm from Madeira, we don't do _well_ in the cold and we're designed to be dramatic!''

''Yeah yeah I know, come on now quit stalling, thanks to your panic attack in Madrid we're late enough as it is,'' Gareth dragged him out of the private plane with much difficulty. Cris looked back at his boyfriend and pecked his lips briefly. ''I'm glad you came with me though, thank you,''

''You're welcome, now get your gorgeous ass out of this plane,''

''Oooh I love it when you're so bossy to me,'' Cristiano purred as he leaned backward, lowering himself into Gareth's firm chest.

Despite the fact that he literally felt Gareth's excitement, the Welshman gave him a small nudge forward and an impatient glare. ''You gotta stop that, this suit can't possibly get any _tighter_ , I can't believe you bought this for me, let alone forced me to wear it. It's like a suffocating cocoon,''

''Stop whining, you look damn hot in that suit. It brings out your _insanely delicious_ muscles,'' Cristiano knew he had an obsessive fetish for Gareth's ripped body and he wasn't proud of it, but he adored looking at him. Gareth was as muscular as a Greek god.  
Nothing like his scrawny stature from when he just arrived at the club. He had worked out insanely hard to achieve what Cristiano could only describe as absolute _perfection_.

''I don't get why I have to wear this _stupid_ suit anyway, we're going to visit _Sami_ , the guy who prefers to wear tracksuits all day, not the bloody pope,''  
''You have to wear it because it turns me on, is that enough reason for you?''

Gareth rolled his blue gems at Cris but kissed him anyway, unable to resist the compliment. ''Thanks, come on, let's get a taxi,''

In the taxi Cris send a quick text to Karim and Grizi, telling them that they'd arrived in Turin. Karim wished them good luck with a tiny message and was eerily silent after Cris' reply. Grizi replied with a simple thumbs up and a kissing smiley that made Cris roll his eyes. That kid would never grow up. 

They arrived at Sami's place an hour later. One of the longest hours of Cristiano's entire life. Cris saw Gareth staring at the condo with his jaw dropped. ''He lives here? Are you serious?''

''Yup, Sami likes to stay as _normal_ as possible, I told you that didn't I?'' Cris said when he stared at the not so luxurious flat where Sami lived.

He had a big penthouse suite in the top floor, but it was nothing compared to the houses that other players had. It wasn't exactly a villa or mansion.  
Though Sami earned enough to buy one, he had never been interested in real estate. He preferred to live like an ordinary person, seeing how he was afraid that the money would go to his head, changing him into a greedy monster like some of his teammates were.

They paid the cabbie his money and walked toward the apartment building where Cris rang the bell for the top floor. ''Hello?'' Sami's serious voice chimed.  
''Hey, it's us!'' Cristiano called.

''Hey, come on in,'' the buzzing sound followed and Cris hauled the door open, letting Gareth step inside first, like any gentleman would do. Karim had been surprised to see how elegant Cristiano was behaving toward the Welshman, seeing how he had been totally different with Fabio and Sami. He treated Gareth as if he was the most precious man he had ever met. Which to Cristiano, he was.

He had realized that fully well over the past few weeks, how lucky he was that Gareth actually cared for him-sincerely-and wanted to be with him despite all of his issues and problematic characteristics. That said a lot about Gareth as a person. How strong he was, how loving he could be, despite of his own hurtful past. That still moved Cristiano, that he was loved so intensely, without any limitations.  
That he had finally found a man who he could completely be himself with, who accepted him so fiercely that his flaws would never cost him that relationship. To him that was unique and what made Gareth such a beautiful man.

They took the elevator up to the fourth floor and when they reached the door, Cris felt his feet slowing down without his own permission. Something was holding him back. All sort of doom scenarios formed themselves in his head.

A thousand ways how this could go terribly wrong occurred to him. His legs were shaking. Gareth noticed of course, he noticed everything that happened to him.

He took his hand and pulled him in closer. ''Stop worrying, you were looking forward to this for weeks-remember? This will be good for both of you, I know it,'' when he saw Cris hesitating he added, ''I have your back, no matter what,''

Cris knew that Gareth had picked up on that sentence from Karim, who always repeated it when Cris was freaking out, and the gesture made him feel warm and tingly in his chest.

He kissed Gareth deeply and needy, suckling sensually on his lower lip before he reluctantly released his lover. ''I love you _so_ much,'' he blurted out before he could hold it in.

Gareth's eyes went wide probably at the same time that Cris' did too.  
He had never said that to Gareth before. He had been feeling it for a while now, but had never been able to say it to him, knowing that it would happen on its own, when he was ready for it.  
When he truly _meant_ it. He didn't want to say it just to please Gareth or because he felt like he had to.

Saying words like these was permanent, precious. They had to be sincere. Cristiano was one of those people who always meant everything he said.

''I love you too,'' Gareth eventually choked out, eyes slightly moist and glassy.

The door to Sami's house opened and the German stepped out wearing black jeans and a dark blue shirt, probably to see what was taking them so long. ''Hey guys, why don't you come in?'' he beamed cheerfully, clearly glad to see them.

If it were anyone else, it might have felt as if the spell had been broken but Sami had a rare talent of only increasing the joy in pure, sincere moments between people.  
Cris winked at Gareth and then stepped toward Sami, embracing him tight. ''Hello old friend, it's so great to see you,'' he confessed. For until this moment, now that he was finally holding his dear friend again, he had never truly realized how much he had missed Sami's presence in Madrid.

Sami smiled into his shoulder. ''I missed you too,'' he released Cristiano tactically, to make sure Gareth wasn't feeling left out or awkward and walked toward him to give him a hug. ''Great to see you again Sami, like he said, we miss you,''

''I know, to me it's still strange to be apart from you guys too. Madrid felt like home to me. Italy is very different, it's so beautiful and I love my teammates, don't get me wrong, but the vibe we had in Madrid-I just miss that I guess,'' Sami said, conceding a sad gaze. ''By the way did I miss the memo where we're going to the opera tonight or something like that? Aren't you two a tiny bit overdressed? I'm not the pope,''

''That's _literally_ what I said!'' Gareth grinned triumphantly, as he struggled to tug the fabric off his impersonated limbs.

Cris snorted unamused. He didn't like negative comments on his outfits. ''Yes sure, gang up on me you two. Why not? Now are we going to stand in this ugly hallway all day or can we go inside?''

''Fine, do come on in. And it's not _that_ ugly, I picked the color of the walls myself,'' Sami said as he let them step inside and shut the door behind himself.

''Well let's just say that maybe you should have let _me_ pick, this looks so hideous that it's like Karim picked it for you,'' Cris said pensively as he shivered at the reminder of the hideous ogre green walls.

''Now _that_ , I don't miss about him,'' Sami smirked. Cristiano gave him one of his famous death glares back. ''Would you two like some coffee?'' their host asked politely before Cris could say something mean back.

''Sure, a latte for me please,'' Gareth asked as he sat down on Sami's black suede sofa. ''And an espresso for me Sami, please,'' Cris grumbled.  
''Coming right up,'' Sami wandered to the kitchen and left the lovebirds to it.

Gareth was admiring Sami's strange decorative choices, Cristiano could tell.

His eyes were darting toward the abstract paintings, the strange teal colored carpet and the yellow sunflower wallpaper. ''Absolutely hideous isn't it? That's what you get when you let Mesut Ozil and Karim Benzema help decorate your house instead of hiring a decorator like any other _normal_ football player would do,''

''Be nice now!'' Sami shouted from the kitchen, but there was no anger or annoyance in his voice. Cris knew that it was nearly impossible to get Sami pissed off at anyone. The man had the patience of a saint. It was one of his best qualities, that he never got mad.

Sami wandered back into the living room carrying a tray with three cups of coffee on it. He handed them their drinks and sat down in the chair opposite from them, looking expectantly, waiting for them to speak.

''Sorry,'' Cris mumbled. He was suddenly feeling so many conflicting emotions when he saw Sami sitting there so close to him and yet so far in his eyes. ''For?'' Sami asked, blinking confused.

Cris felt the words exploding from his lips before he could contain them, years of repressed feelings suddenly erupted. Damn that psychologist for opening that door for all these emotions. ''For offending your decorative skills, for neglecting our friendship all this time, for never valuing you as I should have for-''

Sami left his seat and sat down on the vacant spot to Cris' left. He took his hand loosely in his own, careful not to tick Gareth off. ''Hey man, stop that, you have nothing to apologize for okay? _Nothing!_ You hear me?''

Cris felt himself nodding automatically. It felt nice to know that Sami still wouldn't allow him to be too hard on himself. Somehow he was one of Cristiano's most fierce protectors. He kept him safe from his worst enemy: Cristiano himself. 

''So you offended my strange color pallet? That's how I know you're truly feeling better compared to a few months ago. You always used to complain about the colors in my flat, it's how I know you're yourself.  
And you never neglected our friendship or took me for granted during our-romance-okay? I know that you feel like that because your therapist is tearing down your impossibly thick walls one layer at a time, but I'm fine with where we are now.  
Whatever happened in the past is done, we can't change it and I wouldn't want to either. We both know that we would have never worked out anyway, I'm far too boring to keep you entrained.  
And besides, I let our friendship down too didn't I? I didn't call you either or didn't sought you out when I wanted to talk to you. So we're both equally guilty of that. It's in the past now Cris, I'm not mad at you about anything, I don't resent you and if you want me to, I'll always be around to be your friend. You'll always have me in your life if you want me to be. If Gareth is okay with that too, of course,'' Sami said, gazing anxiously at Gareth who sat besides Cris, listening intently.

Gareth smiled warmly, that typical, beautiful one that made Cris' heart grow three sizes. God he loved him when he looked so sweet and innocent like that. ''Of course I'm cool with that. You two are friends and along with Karim and Pepe you are probably the only person who can handle him friendship wise, so why would I object? Your brief romantic history is not a problem for me.  
A few months ago it definitely would have been, but I've changed a lot thanks to therapy, my trust issues are ninety percent gone. I'm not that insecure about myself anymore, mostly because Cris treats me so amazing that I feel like a king most of the times. I know how he feels about me, so there's no reason to be jealous or unsure about anything.  
So as long as you two both want to stay friends and everyone's happy, I will be too.  
I want Cris to have friends, he needs them to stay balanced.  
Not just a romantic partner, but real friends who won't sugarcoat anything because he's Cristiano Ronaldo. People who tell him the blunt truth, even if he won't like to hear it. He needs you, as he needs Karim and Pepe. To stay grounded, so to say,''

Cris took Gareth's hand and squeezed it tight, feeling his chest nearly exploding from all the love it held for Gareth when he was being like this. If Sami hadn't been in the room he would have kissed him then and there, but he didn't want to be disrespectful toward his old friend.

Wow he really _was_ growing up. He was even taking other people's feelings into sincere consideration.

His life was no longer just about himself, he could actually care about other people now too, selflessly. Where before he had been completely absorbed about his own needs.

The rest of the world could always go to hell, as long as he got whatever he wanted. Gareth had truly taught him that, to be more generous and patient with people around him.  
To actually show them some attention and care, even if he didn't want to hear their personal stories. He listened avidly now, even to his younger teammates that chatted his ears off about the most uninteresting topics.

Sometimes he really missed the old Cristiano, he secretly found it so much more fun when his life revolved all around himself. Not that he would ever admit that to Gareth, that would mean taking a step backward in his process.

He had been a tiny bit worried about seeing Sami again, still uncertain if it would lit the fire in his heart again, rekindle the old crush he used to have on him, but gratefully it hadn't happened at all.  
All he felt for the German now was sheer and unconditional friendship. Which was great, to know that despite everything they had gone through together, they could still be great friends. It was more than he had ever hoped for.

Sami smiled at the two of them. ''I'm glad to hear it. You two make so much sense to me. At first I didn't get it at all but now that I see you together, it just clicks or something. I get it now. What Karim was talking about.  
That spark between you two. And I'm really glad that you two are doing so much better emotionally, due to therapy. It's a relief to me. I've always worried about you Cris, always. It's nice to know that I don't have to do that anymore you know. But there's still one thing left that worries me,''

Cris raised an eyebrow. ''And what is that?''

''Fabio, have you fixed things with him? He was the true center of your anger, your commitment issues, your sadness-everything. Fabio is the one wound that really needs stitches,'' Sami said cautiously, immediately receiving a warning glance from Gareth. He knew what a sensitive topic Fabio still was to Cristiano.

Cristiano felt the usual anvil collapse back onto his chest at the sound of Fabio's name. Though it weighed a lot less now than it used to before. He had slowly and with much difficulty, healed some of the old scars that Fabio had left on his heart.

Cris carefully measured his words. Knowing that he could never lie to Sami. ''Well I'm not as angry with him as I used to be, which is a good thing I guess.  
He actually came with me to my therapist once which helped a lot, he got to hear and understand exactly how betrayed I felt and Martin explained what an impact his choices had made on me and such.  
Afterward I actually felt a lot lighter and less angry. We've spend a few parties together now, with Pepe and Marcelo there for support and actually managed to continue some conversations without me bursting out the room furiously.  
Things have been going relatively good now, we can hang out a bit like actual _adults_ again. Sometimes it even feels like we can be friends again, but I'm still not ready to completely forgive him for everything he did.  
I don't think we will ever be friends as we were before we had a relationship but who knows, maybe someday,''

Sami looked seriously impressed. ''I'm proud of you Cris, you should hear yourself talking. You've matured so much, so quickly that it's almost scary. I don't see that hurt, terrified little boy from Madeira any longer, but a grown man who isn't running from every little emotion like you used to do.  
That's seriously _impressive_ man, not everyone has that innate strength to change himself so much. People say that time heals all wounds, that it changes everything. It's not true of course, doing nothing changes nothing.  
If you want to change who you are you have to work at it, everyday.  
Fight all your natural instincts. And you're doing that, not only doing it but excelling in it, like you excel in most things you do that are important to you. It's incredible, how much you've grown,''

Cristiano didn't fight back the blush he felt rising to his cheeks.  
The old Cris would have done that, not wanting to show any human emotion, but the new one had released his sturdy mask and replaced it with his true self: a slightly neurotic, flawed, insecure man from Madeira who always reached for the stars. Who wasn't and would never be content with a second place.

That was who he was and he would no longer apologize for being himself. He would no longer hide that imperfect part of himself for only himself and his close friends to see.

All of him was lingering close to the surface now, like an open, old wound, for everyone to see. It felt surprisingly safe, instead of suffocating as he expected it to feel.  
Cristiano absorbed the compliment gratefully and embraced his old friend tight as a thank you. ''That means the world to me, that you're saying that,'' he mumbled under his ragged breath.

''You're welcome,'' Sami said kindly as he pulled back again. ''Now onto some lighter topics if you don't mind. What would you like to eat for dinner? I don't want to brag but I'm an amazing cook and Italian cuisine is my forte,''

Cris grinned slyly at him. ''You're right, you _shouldn't_ brag, it doesn't suit you at all,''

Sami ignored that and turned to Gareth. ''What would you like to eat Gareth?''

''Well I wouldn't mind some authentic Carbonara if you can make that,''

''Of course I can, coming right up! When Gigi's your teammate you always have the ingredients in your fridge in case he comes over to beg for his favorite meal,'' Sami said, beaming with lightheartedness. Seeing how happy he was to see Cristiano was really disarming.

Cris hadn't fully realized how much Sami had missed him too, he had only thought about his own loss as usual, not even wondering how Sami had been through their years of radio silence.

''Need some help?'' he offered friendly.  
''Sure, you can make the salad,''

''Awww you got me salad?''  
''Of course I did, I know you won't eat anything as unhealthy as Carbonara without a proper salad on the side. You're forgetting how long and well I know you,'' Sami lectured.

''Yeah apparently,''

They prepared dinner with the two of them while Gareth set the table and played some games on his phone. He clearly wanted to give them the time and privacy they needed to catch up and Cris loved him for being so considerate.

The pasta Sami had prepared had been out of this world, finger-licking amazing, as usual. Sami had always been a better cook than all of Cristiano's private chefs combined. He poured so much heart and soul into his food that it tasted like a little slice of heaven.  
Gareth and Cris complimented Sami a thousand times on his cooking but he nervously shook the compliments away, saying that he was not that good compared to some of his teammates' chefs.

For dessert they had traditional tiramisu, that Cris couldn't resist if he had a gun to his head, knowing that Sami made the best tiramisu in the world. He ate a giant piece and for once didn't care about the calories or the sugar. It had been totally worth it.

After dinner Cris gave Karim a call to check in on his mother. ''Hey, how is she doing today?'' he asked when he heard Karim's exhausted voice.

''Hm okay I guess, she's still in the hospital and they're still doing tests on her brain, but she was awake so that was good,''

''I'm sorry I can't be there with you Benzo,''

Karim sounded utterly dismissive, which was just a sign that he was too tired to elaborate. ''Don't be, it's okay. My whole family is here. I'll be okay. So how is it going at Sami's?''

''Yeah it's been really great to be here again. He cooked us this amazing dinner, Carbonara and tiramisu as dessert and it's been so nice to hang out together after all this time. Nothing has really changed between us, we're still great friends and there's no feelings whatsoever so I'm really relieved about that,''

''Qui I understand that, it's good to know you can still hang out like that right?''  
''It really is,''

''I'm glad to hear it's going so good. Is Gareth enjoying it?''  
''He is, then again: who wouldn't like Sami right?''

''True,''

''Okay Benz, I'm gonna get back to them now. I just wanted to check in on you and your mom,''

''I know, thanks for that. Sorry for being a bit of a jerk, I'm just so tired,''  
''Don't be sorry, I get it. Sleep well bro,''

''You too mon frère, tell them I said hello,''

That night after a nightcap Cristiano called it a night and retreated to the guest bedroom with Gareth.

He snuggled up in front of Gareth and let the Welshman spoon him as they did every night. He was used to being the big spoon, but with Gareth he really loved being the little one. Gareth made him feel safe.

Gareth was placing a trail of suckling kisses into Cristiano's bare neck, making him weak in the knees with desire. ''So, has it been a good idea to come here?'' he murmured as he possessively curled his arm around Cris' naked waist. They always slept in their underwear or nothing, but tonight they chose boxers.

Cris shut his eyes longingly, wanting more touches, more cuddles and kisses. More was always good. He felt himself growing impossibly hard and was glad he was out of his suit. ''Hmm you know what? As much as I hate to admit you and Karim were right, I really am. It's been so great to see him again. Friends like him are scarce,''

''That's true, real friends are hard to come by. And he's such a great guy, I can't blame you for wanting to spend time with him,''

''So it's okay if I come here again? Without you?'' Cris asked it as delicately as he could, but Gareth smiled into his neck before he bit his ear to chide him. ''Of course you can come here by yourself. I trust in you Cris, with all my heart.  
I know we'll be okay no matter what. Nothing will come between us, I realize that now. So yes you can come here without me. I love you and I want you to have friends who can handle you like he can,''

Cris turned around in his Welshman's arms and pulled him in closer. ''I love you so-so much. You brought me back to life,''

Gareth kissed him as he swallowed thickly. ''You're my home,''

''And you are mine,''

 

 

 

 

 

 

_The end._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Did you like it? Are you content with the end? 
> 
> I hope so. <3


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